I am now someone's "kakima", "didi" and "bhabhi" and happy to be :) What a huge family I've married into :) I feel like i am now related to half of India. It's incredible. We have left our family home in Laxman Jhula and are now in Delhi staying for a few days. I am already missing hearing "kakima! kakima!" from the kids a hundred times a day. The really fun part is.... before Nakul and I were married, it was just Ritu they called kakima, but now, both Ritu and I are kakima to our niece and nephew Manu and Gunnu. It took my awhile to start answering to calls of "kakima" and now whenever the word "kakima" is uttered, both Ritu and I look up from what we are doing. I suspect the kids must think this is awesome, that now they get two responses from one call. Too funny. Ritu and I both have to look up in order to see which of us is being called. Wow! So we are in Delhi, yes, its lovely, cause we're at the Hilton Saket. Sooooo comfy. Sooooo luxurious. A short honeymoon of sorts. We are sleeping in a bed that is exactly double the size of ours at home and it's unbelievably comfortable. Anyhow, I'll be home soon. Missing everyone. Sending love.

December 7, 2012, but you know that already. Life is good. very very good. man, i always have a million things to write but then when i sit down to write them, my mind goes blank! one more week until nakul and i go to delhi for our "honeymoon". its a miracles of modern technology that i can sit beside the river Ganga watching the water go by from a cafe, drinking chai and be on the internet with my husband's internet stick, chatting with my mom and trying to remember what i wanted to blog about. why does my mind go blank now whenever i open this page? last week. what to say? we are up to our eyeballs in paperwork. the river is green. life rolls on. :)

Hey i know i've been totally caught up in all the wedding and family stuff lately. my parents and bro just left today. ddrove out of rishikesh on their way to catch a train to delhi tomorrow. strange to see them go. feels like we've all been here for months and months, not just four weeks. so now i'm just enjoying some me time. sitting, looking at the hills, drinking chai... got my internet stick, thanks to my beloved husband (so weird to say that, but fun) and i am just free wheelin and smilin. the intensity of the wedding celebrations has settled down and now life returns somewhat to normal. 2 weeks to enjoy here and then off to delhi ourselves for a mini honeymoon. well, i realized, again, i have very little to write about. sorry about it. love to all, me.

Post wedding bliss

So... here we are. Married. Of course its been a really busy few days so havn't had a chance to get online. Plus my sister in law just broke her foot yesterday so i have been helping her out so she can rest. I had a cold the couple days after the wedding and was in bed mostly resting. So ya, its been kinda nuts. Funny that.... well sad kinda, that after being to india so many times and living here for several months, it doesn't seem like there is anything to write about anymore, cause i've said it all before. everything just appears normal to me now, not noteworthy in my mind. Its raining today. That's different. I just spent 6 hours doing cooking and dishes at the house and i've stepped out to take a break. The rain is nice. I am sitting at Divine hotel restaurant which has wi fi and overlooks the river. Its kinda cool and relaxing here. i'm the only one here. sipping a coffee. i think it was nescafe. boooo. its so bad i think i have to send it back and order a pot of masala chai for my sanity. blechhht!! Today i was reminded how hard indian women work. Even if they don't have a garden and livestock to care for. I mean... of course it takes ritu a fraction of the time to perform the tasks that take me hours, like making roti or dahl, or packing someone a lunch or washing a few dishes. but still.... it is a heck of a lot of work every day and i am glad that i have already discovered that i am not tough enough nor stalwart enough for the job. Although I AM loyal, reliable, and hardworking, just not THAT hardworking :) I admire the women here for the job they do. So the wedding was a grande success. Everyone including the bride and groom had a funtastic time and i really couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect ceremony and celebration for myself. i will post some pictures.

wikipedia: (i cried) In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps: "We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."[ Neo India - A foreigners guide to traditional Hindu weddings: (i just about died laughing reading this article) You could look up the various individual rituals – kanyaa daan, saptapadi, etc. – that comprise a Hindu wedding on Wikipedia, but it wouldn’t be helpful, because the priest who is conducting the wedding ceremony is probably doing something totally different, because he hasn’t read the Wikipedia page. and: Even though most weddings are now held indoors, the mandap is canopy-covered because Hindu weddings are traditionally supposed to be held outdoors. However, even if the wedding were being held outdoors, you still wouldn’t be allowed to wear your shoes in the mandap. Basically, what we’re trying to say is, taking off your shoes increases the number of places you can safely visit in a Hindu wedding – if you’re willing to take off your shirt, you could probably sit right next to the priest.

Googling "what does a traditional hindu bride do?" I'm in bed with a cold. Nice right? 4 days before my wedding. Hahaha. Funny how... it has become such a "wedding". I mean... i never saw myself getting married really. Never had a great respect for the institution itself, always felt that... i didn't want a piece of paper dictating that i needed to stay with someone for the rest of my life... always wanted to choose that every morning by waking up and deciding that i wanted to be with that person each day.... never wanted to fall into a rut of taking them for granted or ceasing to make an effort to make the relationship thrive and grow and become an ongoing inspiration or teaching tool for both partners. But i've always been idealistic. In bed with a cold, nothing serious. Time to reflect. Time to research. Just curious. It's becoming such a "wedding", i'm sure as most weddings do. The purpose for both of us was just to get it done, but inevitably, as things unfold... there are certain protocols and preferences, even my own that i didn't even know existed, that begin to show themselves... and things get increasingly more elaborate as the day grows closer. But we are happy with the developments. It is still rather relaxed. Spending the day in bed is a luxury i am happy to enjoy at the moment. I always thought i would like to get married barefoot on a beach somewhere. I can understand why people elope. But as i said, i am content with the goings on. nothing is over the top and everything is perfect so far. It just occurs to me like a dream sometimes, when i take a moment to step back and take a look. Now... back to my research. :)

It's easy to look at someone else's travel photos while you are sitting at home and think "oh wow, how fantastic someone else's life seems compared to mine". i do it all the time when i am home. But just remember: we can only post photos of exotic places and fun activities, but it is impossible to post photos of inner turmoil, mental disturbances, pain, worry or stress. We don't see that posted on facebook or on a blog, yet every one of us feels these things, regardless of where we are. Sometimes we might feel like we can momentarily escape from these things by travelling somewhere, but it turns out to be only a distraction for us. The only true freedom from these things comes from within, and from the constant acceptance of these things as normal and fine and just as lovely as the more favourable points of view that we have sometimes. All is perception, not reality. Reality is that we just are as we are. Things just are as they are. This happens, that happens. Only our attachment to them or aversion to them cause the suffering. On another more tangible note: the more i am away from canada, though i LOVE canada, the more crazy our life there seems. The endless chasing after things, after success, after achievements, up, up, up, without taking the time to actually enjoy the things that are free. It truly is a rat race. The longer i stay here, the less my life in canada actually makes sense to me sometimes when i think of it. it all just seems like such senseless striving at the expense of our relationships with eachother and time spent together just being. we ARE human beings ,not human DOINGS, after all. as my mother reminded me on the plane ride over here. Don't get me wrong, I love my life in Canada, i LOVE the lifestyle , all the fancy things, and the stuff that works and isn't broken. The systems that function in a reliable predictable fashion. So unlike India with it's unpredictability and bank machines that are out of cash today, and street lights that haven't been operational in decades, and bribes to officials and power outages, and cable break downs, and interruptions to internet service. Life just goes on, people adjust, people are used to it. Every time i come here i am hit by the generosity of the people, the warmth, the thoughtfulness, the intense HUMANNESS that is on display here that makes me feel like my life back home is missing something. Something i didn't even know it was missing until i came to india the first time. Maybe that is part of the reason i am marrying an indian man. maybe its to bring a part of that part i feel i am missing back with me. maybe it is to have a constant reminder in my life every day of what is truly important. like a life line. having my brother, my mother, my step-father here is amazing. having family here is heaven. i only wish my dad could have come, but i feel him here in spirit.