merry christmas and happy new year!

Greetings,

I hope you all had wonderful holidays. Full of warmth and love and caring and laughter, and GOOD FOOD!!

Christmas is not celebrated in India, but because we are a bunch of Westerners here, we celebrated a little on Christmas Eve. It was the strangest Christmas ever.

We had curry for Christmas dinner and then we sort of had a campfire chant and singalong mixture of devotional Hindu chants and German Christmas carols (of all things) replete with tablas (the beautiful Indian drums that are my favourite) and a harmonium. But we had a christmas tree and chocolate, so it was all done well in my books.

We celebrated my birthday in similar fashion but with even more fanfare (and fewer German Christmas Carols).

Fanfare is an old term, it means HOOPLA! In my mind fanfare always involves musical instruments and ceremonies, but i don't know what the offical defination would be.

Birthdays are celebrated around here beautifully with a real "out with the old, in with the new" theme. I don't know how much of this was ashram custom or Indian custom or a blend but anyhow, it was all a welcom relief from the cold austerity of day to day life at the ashram in December. They designed a flower, coloured sand and candle mandala design on the dining room floor and the birthday girl lights the first and last (of the 35!) candles. All the other guests light the ones in between. The significance being out with the old, in with the new, and letting your inner light shine.

and then each guest is given a handful (an armful in some people's cases) of flowers, fresh flowers gathered from the garden, and flower petals: roses, marigolds, and a couple others, which they each take turns pouring on my head, as flowers of blessings and well wishes for myself as well as for them, all the while we are all singing. Lots of singing. It was beautiful and i can't tell you i didn't cry, more than once.

more singing, more tablas. very special.

well, that's it for now.

hope the new year is finding you all refreshed and relaxed. and if not? ask yourself: why

december 7th, an early birthday present

You understand India so much more when you see her elephants.

This morning a miracle happened.

A wild Indian elephant, fully tusked, passed saunteringly through the forest in our backyard!

What a creature.

I tripped on a tree root in my thongs running out to see him and flew to the ground. I ripped the skin off my left big toe. A happy reminder of this blessed day. He was beautiful. I've never seen any creature as big and powerful in the wild in my life. There is something about an animal wild that is pure magic. The same animal in captivity does not carry the same energy, the same....sheer wildness and beauty.

He was pursued by running hollering excited schoolboys but he hadn't a care in the world. They were like pesky flies to him, he was moving so slowly, yet they were running. I couldn't get over how incredibly slow he seemed to move his massive body forward. Each columnular leg lifting so leisurely to be placed in the next step, like in slow motion. Even when he stopped to turn around and look at them to see if they were still on him, he turned around so slowly. I guess when you're as big as an elephant, your movements look relatively slow, because you are so huge.

Tears were streaming down my face for the wonder of it all. It was early morning, around 6:30, and the air was all misty and magical like. He then stepped into the river and crossed through the shallow water to the other side as we and about 40 other people watched on in true wonder and amazement.

He stopped once on his way across to suck water up in his long trunk and spray it off to the side almost to show off to us "hey, ya, i'm an elephant, see, what the big deal?".. and tail a swaying, his rear end disappeared into the mist on the other side of the river.

wow.

I guess when you're that big, you don't need to run, you are bigger and stronger than ANYTHING! and yet elephants are supposed to be very sensitive and intelligent creatures, and aren't violent unless threatened or unhappy (i guess that's like any animal almost).

i was awestruck!

It has been 7 or 8 years, they tell me, since an elephant has passed through here in the forest between the river and the ashram. They used to come alot, in the old days, through the village, until civilization and noise and development became too much and they stopped coming.

So it was quite an event that it happened, since it has been so long since the last time.

and it may be the last time for a very long time.

Gosh they're beautiful.

i'm working on getting a picture of it from my friend Sylvie who had the presence of mind to run back for her camera. I was too dumbfounded and frozen in place to move. He should be showing up soon here any day, Mr. Elephant.

indian ATM moon launchers

hello!

i'm back, finally.

i guess we have a lot of catching up to do. don't worry. i haven't forgotten about you. I did some writing in my journals over the past month that i will share with you.

Northern India is marvelously quiet and cool in the winter.

I have been at Santosh Puri Ashram since November 9th. I took a clinical yoga and ayurveda course for the first 20 days, then some other studies of chakras and the ancient text the Bhagavad Gita and 10 days cooking course of Indian and ayurvedic cooking, which was marvelous. I also spent the month of December observing silence. So everyone had to put up with me not talking. What am i saying, they probably enjoyed it. ha ha

I learned many many things from this ancient spiritual exercise.

The ashram is situated on the river Ganga, halfway between Rishikesh and the holy city of Haridwar. The village is a place lost in time where a foreigner still draws a crowd just by the simple act of stopping to buy a toque. At times, this is magical, that the place is so untouched by tourism, by mass consumerism, by worldly concerns. At other times it is maddening, if you are looking for something or just would like to have a simple..... what am i saying, there is nothing "simple" here. Nothing that i take for granted at home is simple here. It is like a different planet altogether. When I go out for a walk, there is nothing to buy. The biggest indulgences i can find in the village are a bag of stale chips or a papaya or Indian sweets made from boiled milk which I acquired a taste for, out of necessity. The rest is all eggplants and zucchinis, lentils and sugar.

I attempted to take money out of the one bank machine in town. The fact that the screen was DUCT TAPED should have been my first clue of what would happen next. One of my worst fears travelling overseas is that some Indian ATM will suck up my bank card and it will be gone forever and ever, along with every penny in my name, leaving me to selling fresh roasted papadams on the roadside for my living.

Anyhow, on with the tail....

The ATM took my card and its sweet time counting out the equivalent of $500 CAD in rupees.. The screen said (yes, the duct taped one) "please take your cash" ok, easy enough, but i must have stood there 4 or 5 minutes while the machine clunked and croaked and made sounds like it was readying itself for a moon launch. All the time i'm sweating about my card being deep in the belly of the beast. Finally all sounds stopped and it regretted to inform me that my request had been declined, like an RSVP to a summer garden party. I deduced that this was probably due to the fact that the amount that i had requested was more than what the average Indian spends in 6 months (according to the India Times the average Indian lives on about one dollar a day!)

I doubted whether the machine was even stocked with that much currency as no tourists frequent this bank, only local villagers, and all the time spent clunking was probably it trying to count and extract non-existent bills. No harm, no foul, i was just glad that it was so gracious as to spit my card back at me at the end. phew!

more stories to come

om

hello

i had to make an entry. I suspected that some of you would be emailing to check on my safety and security and sure enough, when i checked, there were emails and i appreciate all of your concerns. i love you.

and sure enough, as you wrote, Raina, i am tucked safely and soundly away in a peaceful ashram far, far away from Bombay (Mumbai). In fact, we barely heard about the event here. I mean, the news did waft in from outside but it is as insignificant to us as the colour of our underwear. At this very moment I still know nothing about what happened at all. All i heard was ... terrorist bombing in Bombay. Really, its so far away from here in both physical and every other kind of space.

its not really news. I hope that doesn't sound.... arrogant. That is not my intention.

What is news to me is things like.....there is black tea at tea break today! (rather than the green or red we usually drink) and that the first draft of Mata ji's book has just been printed and handed to me for proofreading. So that's exciting, and not dangerous or terrorizing in the least.

I will promise to stay out of the big cities unless I absolutely have to, for passing through to other destinations. This is where the attacks tend to take place.

So while i'm here i might as well tell you a story.

There is a place by the river ganga called Santosh Puri where a family lives; a mother, her two daughters and a son. The father left this world in 2001 after telling his family the previous day, that tomorrow, he would not be here. He gave them all the instructions for preparations to be made for his departure. He was not ill or sick in any way, just advanced in age. His work here was done and it was time to go. We call him Baba-ji (grandfather) and the mother: mata-ji (grandmother).

When it was time to go, sitting in the garden, he took 3 breaths and on the fourth, he left. His body leaned over and into mata-ji's lap and she then chanted through the night.

This is the ashram where i stay now.

It is not easy. Conditions are austere, but punctuated with moments of sheer perfection, joy and delight.

i don't really know what else to say about it at this very moment. It is all a giant science experiment going on in my life. We shall see the outcome of the experiment when i return home.

i miss everyone and everything in canada immensely. it is a favourite pastime of mine when i have time, to daydream about people and places at home. Food. Memories. It is amazing how sharp and clear my imagination has become since going without any media, television or movies for three whole months. I can conjure up anything i want and it is so vivid that i can smell things and taste things. It is marvelous.

still, being here takes up all of me. Involves all my senses and demands most of my attention. Which is a blessing, because if it wasn't for this, i would be homesick way more often.

So.....

the plan is still to stay in this ashram until i go to nepal in january. It is like family here. Because it IS a family and they treat you as such. It is a family that reminds me alot of my own. A bunch of hippies.

well, i gotta run.

pranayama class starts now. breathing. one whole hour of breathing. how to breath. different techniques and experiments with breath that create different effects and results. aaaaah, oxygen and life force.

it is my favourite class out of all of my classes.

ok, i love you all.

feel good, live well.

saturday

Well, I just received my first email from a Baba (a spiritual renunciate). He is not my Baba, he is my friend Naomi's Baba (if one can have ownership over a Baba). Such technology. Our Baba's also have cel phones, so I guess renunciation does not include technology. After all, Baba's have to keep in touch too.
I just had tea with my Bengali family. A couple of days ago I resolved my unresolved issue around the whole passing of the father and my not joining them in the mourning with all the rest of the village; going totally against my natural inclination to go in with them that fateful evening. Yes, a couple of days ago I spoke with one of the sons and explained my dilemma and my intense regret at having stayed away and my cultural issue that kept me outside and how I had felt in my heart to go in but let my head talk me out of it.
It was basically a non-issue for him and for them and he invited me in to see his mother and have tea and to look at the pictures of the wake and the funeral procession and the ceremonial cremation.
It was better late than never for me, and today was the second time I have visited since the night they brought his body home. It was very cathartic and therapeutic for me and necessary, I realized, to bring peace to myself around the situation.
I still regret not having joined in that evening. I can't describe the feelings in words, I'm sorry, it's not possible. But the regret is somewhat eased by having spent some time with them since.
I have a difficult time not breaking down in tears when I am with them but I know that I must hold this back, as one of the sons requested me to please not cry. The mother is not doing well at all, she is having breathing problems and stomach problems. She is not the same woman as before, not at all. She was a very happy woman before, glowing, married to her husband, because he was such a great man, as I have said, so kind and generous to all in the community, to all who came. It must be a great joy and sense of pride to stand behind a man like that. I think I understand.
This family has touched my heart in a place so deep I didn't even know existed inside me. They have no idea, and they will never know, and I will never be able to express to them, the change they have caused in me, just by living their lives and inviting me in. It is for this reason that I cry and am so moved, not only for the passing of their father.
So, I did the right thing. I shyed away initially, but I went back and connected, and for that, my soul feels peace.
I am leaving Rishikesh tomorrow for a spell, but will be back in January for my teacher training. In February, the oldest son gets married and I have been invited to the wedding. So of course I will attend. The cycle of life continues.
Tomorrow I head to an ashram 17km downriver from here. There I will take a course in Yoga Therapy. I don't know if there will be internet or how easy it will be to travel into town to find internet, so there may be a brief cut in communications here. Until mid January.
so if this is the case, I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, happy happy solstice and a fabulous new year. I love you all!
and to all you ski/snowboard bums.........................ride your faces off please, for me.

Death

We just had a death in the family.

The Bengali family that owns my guesthouse and lives downstairs... their father died. He ate his last supper with me. It was just me and him.

They are incredibly thoughtful and warm and generous hey. I was coming home one night after we had lost our water and I asked him if the water was back. He doesn't speak hardly any english at all, so he didn't understand me, but there is a universe in his eyes. The softest, deepest, most kind eyes you will ever see.

He invited me in for chapati, indian bread. I agreed, and then his wife proceeded to bring me a full meal, of course. So he and I sat down to dinner. I asked her if she was going to sit down and she waved like ... yes yes, i will, just give me a minute, but she just kept serving us and he kept calling her to bring me more of this and more of that and we ate special homemade Bengali lime pickles which i LOVED. He kept asking me if I really liked the pickles. I love Indian pickles (due to my being Indian in some past life) and so that is how he spent his last night, with me, happily spoiling me with Indian delicacies and teaching me how to break up the pickles by squishing them with my bread in one hand.

The next evening I came home and there was a big white car parked outside our gate and a huge commotion. Something was terribly wrong. People were everywhere. There was crying and howling and then, as I stood there in front of the car, frozen, trying to understand the kuffuffle, i saw the body. The entire scene was like something out of a movie. Several men reached into the back of the car and carried out a body and when I strained forward to see the face, it was him, it was their father who I had just supped with the night before. And upon seeing his face, I just fell apart. I couldn't believe my intense emotional response after only knowing these people one month. I have shared a couple meals with them and a few conversations and jokes, but still, only one month. I immediately felt the pain of their losing this great father, this great man. For he was a good, good man. So generous and kind and loving and gentle.

Bawling, I went around all the people and into the gate behind where they had carried the body into the house. Indian custom has the family keep the body in the house so the family and all the relatives and friends and townspeople can come to mourn. A sort of a wake. but oh the wailing. The sound of Indian women mourning their dead is unmistakeable and I sat down on the steps and added my sorrowful cries to theirs. The louder and harder I cried outside, the louder and harder they cried inside and vice versa until we all finally quieted down, momentarily emptied of our sorrow.

It was quite an epiphany for me. I have never had that response before. I handled it just like an Indian person would have. I guess that that is what was strange for me. I could not control the emotion I was feeling, and I didn't want to. It felt good to let it all out. It felt right to mourn the loss of a man so great. It did him justice.

My first impulse had been to run into the house to be with the family, the wife, the son (24 years old) the cousins and neice and nephew, but my Canadian self stopped myself. I heard a voice in my head that stopped me, the voice said: "leave the family to their grief, you are an outsider, they won't want you there, you have no right" . Afterwards, I regretted my decision so much. so, so much. because it is the Indian way to be together, to BE together, to support eachother, to just BE together, to not leave eachother alone, but to stay close and be close.

After talking to a few Indians and a few foreigners who live here, I have realized that the family probably thought it very strange that I DIDN'T come in. very strange. and I feel strange about it now. awkward. culturally you know. I mean, I know they probably are allowing for the cultural difference, but the part that is the real kicker for me is that... I DID have the right impulse at first, but I didn't follow it, I intellectualized my feelings and stopped myself from acting on that impulse and I really, really regret it now, so much. So if I ever find myself in a comparable situation again... I know exactly what I will do and I will let my instincts run the show. I won't second guess myself or overthink it.

so that is what has been going on. Such a beautiful, beautiful man. I think he knew, too, that he was going. I, in fact, think he chose when and where he was going to die. He had a heart problem and had had a heart attack before. but they found him down at the sacred ganga river this time. He had been sitting on a rock at the beach before he fell over. It is every devout Indian Hindu's desire to die by the sacred Ganges. Many people in their elder years retire to a riverside city in order that they will die near the river.

His oldest son has just got engaged, Diwali festival just finished and by the look in his eye after the dinner we had that night before when I was talking to his youngest son who is fluent in English.... he looked ... satisfied.... I looked at him and he had a strange expression of contentment and approval as he watched his youngest son converse easily with a foreigner, it seemed to me like he was thinking "yes, this one will do ok in his future too". .... he even said to me that night "my two sons" .... he was very proud and happy. You know how people have a tendency to die after a big event, a family reunion, a wedding, some momentous occasion... like.. they hold out until that is over, and until they know that everyone is taken care of and then they can die in peace.

We in the west are so afraid of death. We hold it away from us like it is a dirty towel.

I am grateful to these people for showing me another way. A better way. To not shy from it. To live it, as it is part of life, and to pull eachother close and be witness to eachother's grief as we, as humans, are meant to do.

And I see how.... all that matters in the end is that you have been a kind and gentle, loving and generous person in this life. It is for this that people will cry over you. Nothing else matters.

lizards for lunch.... not as food, but as guests

I had lunch with a lizard.
Well, technically speaking, I had finished eating when the lizard joined me, but nonetheless, he was there.
"Freedom Cafe" is chock FULL of young Israelis, fresh from the army and eager for freedom. I wonder if they will find it at the Freedom Cafe? It seems they think so, because the place is full of them.
And then there is me.
I find a beautiful riverfront spot with a low table and cushions and blankets and pillows on which to sit on the floor. This is a common arrangement. Proper tables do exist in other parts of the restaurant, but I prefer this location. It is more comfortable and the riverside view is next to none. I guess the brown baby lizard thought so too.
His invitation came when the woman sitting at the next table jumped up and shooed him my direction. Thanks lady! and i made sure to thank her, with a laugh so she knew it wasn't malicious.
The lone lizard made straight for my lap. He was maybe only a foot from nose to tip of the tale, and a nice long full tail he did have. They move like darts, those little suckers, and I soon found myself, once again, leaping up with a squeak so as to make my lap less inviting. (There was another occasion.... involving a mouse last week, different restaurant, but that is another story for another time). He then swerved to his left and went up the table cloth and spent the rest of his time sitting there on the table, staring at me with one eye and his head cocked, making me wonder "what is he thinking?". It was like he knew me, the way he was looking at me, the way you watch someone from a distance you think you know but are not sure so you wait and you watch and observe.
Now that I was confident he was aware of me and therefore not considering climbing into my lap, I settled back down on my cushion. We sat like that for a short time, me admiring him and he scrutinizing me. Soon we both grew bored and he continued to look around at other things while I turned back to my book.
So now i've had lunch with a lizard, dinner with a mouse .... that's all i can think of at the moment, for fauna at dinner parties.
The mouse was one evening about a week ago. I might as well tell you now before i forget.
this cafe i go to that has really good homemade bread that i get made into toast.... they also have an area that is like low style japanese tables and just cushions and pillows to sit up against, so you are sitting on the floor. You are outside, right by the ganges river, and a tree grows up inside one corner so you are leaning up against a tree while you eat. So i'm happily eating my toast, and its dark, you know, evening time, except for some dim lights, and i see a movement under the table, i think its a shadow but i look again, hard this time, and its a mouse! he almost ran right into my lap! Now i'm not especially afraid of mice and i'm thinking i'd just shoo him away but he kept coming back so it made me a bit jumpier. I jumped up and continued shooing, clapping (which apparently works on cows but not mice) and hitting my hand on the floor (which DOES work on mice) but it seems he was trying to get past me on his way somewhere and i was simply in the way. Once i jumped up, he quickly ran past me and over the wall and down to the beach. i had screamed by this point. i couldn't help myself. It was all too much. i was the only customer at the time, luckily, and a Nepali called over "do you want something m'am?" .... as if this was my customary way of summoning a waiter. "no, just scaring away a mouse, that's all" i called back, so proud of my bravery .
He shrugged and carried on.
aaaah....India.

shoes

QUICK BLOG:

news and events:

i need a secretary. i seem to have gotten so busy, i need someone i can just dictate to, on the go-like and they can transcribe it. hahah.

today i was looking at my shoes, my runners.... and calculating... i don't think they're gonna make it for another 4 months, let alone 8! and shoes here.... well, that a joke. if you want to wear flip flops all year round, then its no trouble. or like some guys, wear flip flops working on the construction site. for real. i saw it. incredible. i guess there's no worker's comp here. if you're clumsy enough to drop a brick on your toes then that's your problem.

i took myself for a stroll down what would be Rishikesh's equivalent of Rodeo Drive: fancy sari shops and expensive western clothes (expensive by indian standards of course).... but no sensible shoes for angie. oh well... i'll figure something out. i didn't anticipate my runners wearing out so fast. i guess i've been walking lots. they have runners here but they are horrible stiff plasticky uncomfortable and not well made affairs. what to do.

Laundry Day

I've been with a bout of the flu for a couple days which as kept me pretty close to home with fever and chills and the like, my usual delirium, you know, but without the "buggy" feeling i had with the real or imagined malaria that I had before. This all was accompanied by a touch of the infamous "Delhi Belly" which, they say, no one escapes, so I guess my time was overdue since I've been here 2 months already. So all in all it was a good cleansing and I've emerged feeling light and clean, with rosy cheeks and bright eyes and if i had a tail-------it would be bushy.
I was well taken care of during my convalescence. The Bengali family who owns my guesthouse and who lives downstairs, knowing my condition, checked on me periodically, brought me bottled water and invited me to meals, just as if I was their own. Gayatri, my French friend, stopped in everyday to check on me, just by chance, she didn’t even know I was sick the first time she came, so that was nice. And of course, my friends at the health food restaurant next door, this beautiful family, made me healthy food and gave me special tea for my fever and and lent me a book about the various man eating tigers in this area around the turn of the century which I had started to read and could not put down. So I was well cared for. The universe provideth.
And the Nepalis are happy to see me back at their cafe. The Nepalis are a different bunch all together. Totally different from the Indians, even though they live only one mountain range away. They are even more giggly and playful, if that is possible, than the Indians but in a more regal and mountainous way. I look forward to learning more about them when I go there in January.
I noticed the river has changed colour in only a couple days. I guess now that the monsoon run off is finished, the grey colour will turn more green. Just like the rivers in Canada do after spring run off. She was a welcome sight today when i walked across the bridge. I just stood in the middle of that bridge and let her greeness fill my eyes for some moments before continuing on.
The Indians seem fond of waiting until dusk, just when the daylight becomes dangerously dim, to embark on a pleasure cruise in a motorboat. I cannot understand this. I see also river rafts travelling down the Ganga, several hours after any Canadian raft would be caught dead on a river. But that, my friends, is the Indian way. (As I remind myself not to go river rafting here)
I also watched a woman wearing a yellow sari climb through a barbed wire fence today. Do you ever wonder how any woman wrapped in 5 metres of fabric can do that without a snag or a tear and make it look graceful and elegant to boot? It’s a miracle to my mind. (to write this, I had to just go out into the travel agent office part of this place to ask a group of three men in their 40’s if they knew how many feet long is a sari? Which is funny unto itself, because it is clearly “women’s business” and two didn’t know, or didn’t want to answer, a third coyly gave the information of 5 metres, almost embarrased that he knew the answer). A sari is a traditional Indian garment that most women wear here that is one long length of fabric; silk or polyester or cotton, that is wrapped a special way that covers her whole body leaving enough at the end to cover her head as well, from the sun or the rain, if needed. Underneath is worn a skirt petticoat. It looks incredibly beautiful on them, but incredibly hot, especially in the humid summer months. And that’s not to mention the passing through of barbed wire fences that must happen daily for them. wow.
Traditional roles run strong here, and as I mentioned before, arranged marriages the norm. Very conservative.
As the weather cools, the birds are starting to sound like the same birds in Canada in the springtime. I wonder if they haven’t migrated down from the mountains where it will soon begin to snow. The more tropical sounding birds sound no longer, which make me think that they have gone south as the cold morning winds probably aren’t pleasing them all too well.

today was laundry day. I decided to do it myself today, by hand of course. Its good for me.

Merry Christmas

Good morning all!
It's Christmas in India. no.....
Its Diwali today. Festival of Light. I came home yesterday to find my balcony strewn with Christmas lights that flashed happy colours through my curtains while i slept. Strings of lights and garlands of marigolds have gone up everywhere and a festive spirit is felt throughout the streets today.
I was surprised actually, last night, I expected the firecrackers and explosives to go on later than they did. I thought they would escalate more as we drew closer to the day, but everything was quiet by about 10:30pm. thank goddess.
Of course this morning there were some little rascals who couldn't resist at 7am to wake us up with a couple of real doozies. Like waking up in Vietnam during the war.
I have a bit of a cold today. Thinking I need to buy a wooly hat to wear to bed because my head gets cold at night sleeping in a cool drafty room with no central heating. I wake up sneezing and sniffling.
Yesterday I gave my first Reiki session. I randomly bumped into my french friend Gayatri and she was not in a good way. Stomach problems, you know, Delhi belly, but also nausea and muscle aches and headaches and chills and all this stuff. So she was happy to have some help when i offered. We had a lunch first. She, eggs and lots of toast...... me, a fabulous fresh salad with feta cheese and cashews and mango smoothie. We did it at her room so she could rest after. It was amazing to be able to give like that and I really had a strong sensation that this is the kind of work i am meant to be doing, healing and giving. I cried tears of happiness while we worked, I felt so honoured to be able to help, to serve, in some capacity and i think that this is what has been missing in my life, this sense of purpose, this sense of contributing to people in a significant, positive and meaningful way. It was very fulfilling and gave me lots of energy too. Afterwards I felt very recharged and energized. I remember a similar sense of satisfaction when i gave massage in costa rica.
She fell asleep during it, so i will talk to her today to check her experience and get feedback and check in on how she is doing.
poor girl. Lots of adventure over here.

Explosives and children

As i sit on the banks of the river this morning I hear some birds sing, a fish jump and the soft purr the river makes as she flows over some rocks near the opposite bank. The river no longer sounds "OM". Here in Rishikesh, at least at this section of the river, there are few rocks, little white water. Not like further up in the mountains, where I was before, where the river ROARED with fierceness, crashing over boulders and chanting the sound of the universe.
No, this morning is peaceful. The water has receded since the monsoon season and left banks of soft velvety grey sand that warms in the sun and slopes down at the perfect angle making a very comfortable seat for meditation. Nature's livingroom.
Yesterday I finished my Reiki level two. It was very good, very...powerful. Not only did we learn more healing techniques but also one to remove mental blockages, for ourselves and others. Good tools.
Some of you may have been wondering about the swastika symbol that has been appearing in some of my photos. I thought this might come up. The swastika is actually a very, very ancient symbol, way before the Nazis and way before Charles Manson. I am still looking into it but according to one source I asked, the Hindu swastika symbol is actually backwards. It's arms turn the opposite way from the Nazi swastika and it symbolizes the sun.
Today I think I may get my hair cut somewhere. Some "beauty parlor" . haha
Life is pretty uneventful. You know, just petting cows and watching people and dodging monkeys.
I hope everyone is getting geared up for halloween. I love Halloween. We are getting geared up for "Diwali" here, the festival of light. Christmas lights go up everywhere. Light displays of all kinds.... and explosives. No festival is complete without explosives. Huge loud ones. Hardly can they be considered fireworks in my opinion. The little boys take a special pleasure in sneaking behind you or some little old lady and sparking one up to see if they can't scare the pants off you. Then they themselves explode in peels of laughter. They haven't got me yet. Luckily, so far, i have remained cooler than a cucumber, unruffled, much to their apparent disappointment. I HAVE jumped sky high before at the sound of a very near bang, but i have been in my house, or in my reiki teacher's house or in a cafe or somewhere off the street and out of public view. Those little buggers.
Well, I suppose I shall sign off. Love to everyone.

Indian marriage and salty lime sodas

Well, here i am again. I have a favourite internet cafe. They all know me here now. I bought my ticket to Nepal here and my train tickets, so now i'm a perennial favourite and seem to be getting all sorts of good rates and special services. A friendly bunch.
I just finished having a fabulous dinner at this place i like to go sometimes that is a roof top terrace type restaurant, built up on stilts on the highest point way above the river. It looks down at everything, the whole valley, the city and the plains. The view is so expansive that when i go there, i always feel expansive, like i am really looking at the big picture, taking it all in. Rob suggested I take time to smell the flowers and really soak it up, so that's what i did. The sunset from there is spectacular and then the first stars start to come out and the sky is huge. The food and service were excellent. yum. had something called paneer bajia and roti upon the recommendation of my waiter. it is indian cheese with tomatos, onions and fresh cilantro. yum, yum, yum, and a salty lime soda. i could never figure out.. every time i ordered a fresh lime soda they would ask me "sweet or salty"? i never answered, i just shrugged and said i don't know, because i never understood what they were asking me. the drink is just fresh squeezed lime juice in the bottom of a glass to which you add a bottle of club soda served on the side. But one time, they brought it to me "salty", and then i understood what they meant. salt had been added, and it was delicious!. they have something called black salt here, which is sort of like sea salt but with a funny taste. It is natural and good for digestion, especially to have on fruits like apples or papayas. Anyways, now i always order it "salty" as that is what i like.
I had been talking to a young waiter there last time and he was there again tonight. It seems that... since the last time we talked, his parents have a "girl" for him. So he is going home to his village on the 9th of November to meet her for the first time. 90% of marriages in the hills like where we are now, are still arranged marriages, and the parents choose a prospective mate based on similar families, similar social and economic status, similar interests and lifestyles and things like that. I am starting to think it is a very successful system, as i look at "love matches" in the western countries... 50% of which end in divorce. The waiter told me that 10% of marriages are love matches in this area that we are in now and he says they almost never work out. I think it makes perfect logical sense to choose a partner based on similiar backgrounds and upbringings and economic status etc. That way, as the waiter explained, she is not spending all your money. If she comes from a very rich family, she will not be satisfied with their level of living and may not be able to run the household living within their means... therefore... spending all their money. This fascinates me to no end. Arranged marriages. Not to mention your parents are older and wiser and know things. Makes more sense than letting your raging 20 year old hormones decide who you are going to marry now doesn't it? ... ahahaha.
He also said something interesting... he said that he doesn't want to be rich, he is happy and content at where he is at.... and i think this seems to be the sentiment with most indian people, especially those that live in the villages and small towns here.. they are happy and content with where they are and what they have, not thinking that they need to have more, more, more to be happy. What a concept.

the path to my house

good morning!
the weather here right now is autumn in the morning and summer in the rest of the day. so bizarre.
Anyhow, i'm taking some more pictures and stuff so they should be coming up shortly.... a new video on youtube, hopefully, cross our fingers.
I want tell you about the path from my house to the market.
It is a concrete path that goes down the hill between the houses to the main market street. There is a creek that runs down beside and under it from out of the mountains, that people constantly divert according to their needs and whose rice patty field needs to be irrigated the most. Everyday, almost, i see new and creative ways and routes that the creek has been diverted by human hands, and the next day it is different all again. It is fascinating to see these small things change everyday. Something as simple as water and how it is used. This little creek, contained in its little concrete gutter, serves so many people on its way from up the mountain to the Ganga.
But this is not the thing i wanted to tell you.
Its about the path itself.
It is one of my very favourite things here. Let me tell you why....
This path has many holes in it, under which the creek is running. The holes vary in size from the size of your fist to the size of two milk crates, large enough for a pig to fall in. There are grates occuring periodically in the path and some of them are partially or entirely missing, due, probably, to people wanting to drop a bucket in the creek running underneath to retreive some water, so they've removed a grate and god knows where it is now. No one repairs the path. Everyone knows where the holes are... it's not a problem.
The path itself is only about 3 feet wide and bikes and mopeds also travel it regularily without incident, holes and all. (although last night, one was coasting down with the engine cut (they often do this... coast down hills), stealthily silent so i didn't hear it coming and i yelped and leapt out of the way when we almost collided, both of us yelling "sorry!" back at eachother in english. I remain unharmed and smiling. )
I noticed last week that someone had put a rock half in the hole that is the perfect size of your foot. He must have stepped in it thus precipicating the stop-gap measure. I smiled when i saw that because that's what i thought... a perfectly foot sized hole.
Anyway...the beauty of this path is... that a large section of it, where the concrete walls are high on both sides, is completely unlit at night when the moon is not out or less than a quarter big. Almost completely and totally in blackness for about 20 feet. So, to walk on this path at night requires nothing less than a photographic memory of the precise location of each and every hole. I have made the trip when there is no moon maybe 5 times now. It is the short cut from the market to my house. To not take this path requires a very very long detour around by road. Everytime i find myself on this path on the darkest section at night i laugh so hard because I actually have the knowledge, the memory in my mind, the map, of all the holes, and i can navigate it with little difficulty. Granted, last night was the darkest of all nights i have ever been on that path and i was going very slow and tapping the ground in front of each step, just to make sure. But i realized with wonder, that i have travelled this path so many times in the last month and a half, that i can make the trip at night, just like the people who live here everyday and live with this holey path, that in canada, would be condemned as a hazardous route and sectioned off until it was repaired to an acceptable standard.
I don't know why i delight in these things. Most travellers would be exasperated. I just find it one more quirky and endearing thing that i love about this place. I will post a picture of it. i took a picture today.
So this path is one of my favourite things, and i smile every time i find myself picking my way along there after dark.

thank you

hello
Thought i'd just drop a quick note while i am here at the computer. Some of you have been sending me some wonderful emails sharing what is going on in your lives and i want to tell you all... thank you! I am so happy to read news from home, it makes me not feel so far away and it makes my heart smile everyday when i read. Thank you.
So i just booked a ticket for kathmandu, nepal. (now my mom is singing the song "kathmandu"). I have to go there to get a new indian visa for the next few months. It will be in January when i go, which is probably not the coziest time to visit there, but my teacher training starts here at the end of January so i have no choice. I met the teachers of the teacher training i had been considering and both the teachers and the ashram are great, i am happy to report, and i feel that my waiting and researching and holding out has paid off, or will pay off, in the form of a very good quality education and experience of learning how to teach yoga.
I have two weeks left at the guest house here before i move to another place for november and december. It will be an ashram offering a course in yoga therapy and ayurvedic cooking, so i am looking forward to that.
I will be happy to go back into the ashram environment by then, after being in the real world and fending for myself for the past couple weeks.
The guest house is as nice as it gets, but it is not so cozy for the winter as it is the corner room facing east, the direction the winds blow from in the morning. I am going to be glad to not be there for the coldest months of december and january. It is a good room in the late afternoon when the breezes start up again and blow softly billowy through, its like hawaii then. but not at 5am. At 5 am when i want to be getting up, that chilly morning wind is blasting through the cracks in the windows and under the door where there is a space of about half an inch. (i don't think the indians have heard of weather stripping) . Maybe that's why the yogis get up at 4 to meditate, because its too darn cold to sleep anymore. haha.
Coziness factor aside, things are fine. It seems like time is going by incredibly fast.
If anyone feels inspired to send pictures... i love getting them.
peace and love all around.

a monkey god's mother

Hello................... How is everyone?

Today i took a picture of a yak. At least... i THINK it was a yak. Yakkity Yak. and did you know that "Yak" is spanish for "Jack", so when we went to mexico with my brother, we all got a kick out of everyone calling him "Yak". He didn't think it was all that funny, unfortunately. No sense of humour that kid, sometimes. Anyhow.

I went for a long walk up the river today. The country road is 5km to the waterfall trail ( i didn't go up to the waterfall this time) and comes out at an ashram by the river, and a lovely lovely swimming hole at the river. So i went for a quick swim and sat on a big rock and sunned myself . It is a very picturesque and peaceful spot, i will try to publish some pics soon, of the Yak and of the picturesque spot. I was there all day and the walk back was long. More than 10km return trip, but i needed the dose of nature and the exercise.

In the marketplace here there are guys who come at you and want to "bless" you by placing the hindu red dot in red powder on your third eye (forehead). one guy is dressed up like... shiva, a hindu god, i guess he is supposed to be, and he jumps out and expertly smudges this red dot on you before you even know what's hit you. The first time it happened i laughed. The second time it happened it was a different guy. He wasn't dressed like Shiva but he was even more wiley and well prepared than the first guy. I laughed after my episode with him too, but i left $2.50 less rich than i was before i met him. He too came out of nowhere and before i knew what was happening, i had a hand full of marigolds and some kind of sticky candy that you are supposed to throw in the Ganga(river) as an offering. He tied red string around the wrist of the hand that was holding the flowers and made me repeat after him, the blessing, then before i knew it, i had another red smudge on my forehead, and i had parted with 100 rupees! i laughed and gave it willingly because i was just so impressed with his ingenuity and the smoothness with which he descended on me and had me happily participating in my own blessing ritual. That guy has real skills man! and i walked on to the bridge to offer my sticky candied flower to the river Ganga.

Life is so infused with spirituality here. It constantly amazes me. To the left and right of me I see people blessing the money I give them when i pay them, saying a little prayer when they pass an altar in the street, burning incense and lighting candles and floating flowers in the river.... it just goes on and on. I have to say it is wonderful to be surrounded by so much devotion.

I have begun introducing myself as "Angeli" now to the Indian people when they ask my name because neither "Angie" nor "Angelina" makes any sense to them and it just draws blank or puzzled stares. They attempt several times to repeat what i have said, but it never really comes out right, so after a few conversations like this it has been brought to my attention that "Angeli", (a shortened version of Angelina after all) is a very Indian name. Turns out, it is the name of Hanuman's (the monkey god's) mother. So there it is, my Indian name is born, and it is that of a monkey god's mother. I think this is a tremendous joke on me. I feel like a monkey's mother some days, i tell ya.

progress report #39

This is the blog entry i wrote 3 days ago and didn't publish because their server was down... so here it is now...

Holy hiatus girl! I apogolize to those of you who have been following the saga like a weekly soap opera. I have been very negligent in my blogging duties. What… almost 3 weeks since I wrote last? Can’t be. Oops.
Well, India continues to impress and seduce me with its wonderous occurrences and serendipitous events and I haven’t even left Rishikesh. I still feel overwhelmed from time to time, but when I do, I just retreat to my sanctuary and regroup and rest.
I have been here almost 2 months now and I am starting to feel like a local. I didn’t really think about it but… I am starting to be a long term visitor to this community. I am becoming quite familiar with many people and places and shop owners and when I meet other travelers, most of them are just passing through, a few days… a week or two, 5 weeks tops, on their way through to other places in India. I didn’t think it was that unusual to be here, you know, 9 or 10 months, but really it is, and especially unusual when I tell people that I’m pretty much staying in this area for the duration, not going far from here, maybe 25 kilometres in either direction, but I have no desire to sightsee and scatter myself and my energy all over India. It is exhausting and unsettling to travel around here, and I find I have everything I need here. I am content and satisfied. Why would I go anywhere else? Most of the travelers I meet are on a mission to see the most things possible in the shortest amount of time. I’ve traveled like this before. It’s exhausting, and you don’t really get that deep into any one place, you get just a superficial surface impression of a place and you don’t really sink into the feeling of it.
So people come and go, and I remain.
In November I will be moving into another ashram that is out of town. They have a 20 day yoga therapy course and some other interesting things happening in December, but that’s not until November. By then I will be ready to go back into the sheltered community of the ashram. It is so peaceful and sheltered from the outside world. The perfect place to practice. You don’t have to deal with the market or restaurants or hotels and your meals are provided and prepared with love and the food is so healthy. This ashram has its own cows and a garden. It’s a place that my mom picked out off the internet and I think it is going to be quite nice. We shall see in due time.
India is not a place for people who are scared of cows. We live in and amongst the cows, calves and bulls, bumping up against them, being nudged by them, feeding them, petting them and stepping around their “deposits” in the street. One develops a very close relationship with the bovine species while they are here and I pity the person who is afraid of them. I am sure those people get over it real quickly with all the exposure they get daily.
I have spent a few mornings practicing yoga with the Baba I met at the river. He really put me through my paces and had me doing some of the more advanced poses I never even knew I could do. And in fact, when I practice these poses alone, it seems I CAN’T do them quite as easily as when I practice with him... he seemed very pleased with my ability and urged me on to more and more difficult things. Some of it was exactly what I needed. A lot of upper body strengthening and core strengthening, … arm balances and the like. There are many different ways of balancing on your hands and supporting all the weight of your body on your hands.. I find this is excellent for bringing the energy up through the core of your body, and you feel like you are 10 years old again. This combined with upside down poses like headstand and shoulderstand, are the fountain of youth. They literally slow the ageing process immensely. All very interesting stuff. So I am learning a lot.
Everything is just puttering along as it should and I am delighted.
My new room, (I moved out of the ashram) is very homey. The family that owns the guest house lives downstairs and they are lovely. My room is the corner room on the third floor with a big nice balcony facing east where I can do my afternoon yoga session, looking out at the Himalayan foothills. It’s very enjoyable.
I am meeting lots of interesting people, everyday. I find it hard NOT to talk to people when I go out. I have to be more discerning because I end up spending a lot more time talking to people than reading or writing and sometimes social engagements even start to infringe on my yoga and meditation time…. So I have to be careful and when I see this happening, I pull back. Of course it is nice to meet people and talk and hang out but just a little, not too much, that is not what I came here to do. It takes discipline to NOT be a social butterfly and to focus on what I am doing here, but I am doing really well and progress is occurring and sensitivity and sharper awareness is growing everyday, steadily.

Indian faith

helloo!
well, I just ate dinner in an Indian restaurant. Ya, i know, i know what you are saying "well, you're in India, aren't ALL the restaurants Indian?". You do have a point there, but there are different kinds of restaurants here. There are really upscale restaurants with way inflated prices in the expensive hotels that cater to tourists and the rich. The food is often not that good, the prices are high, but you know that it is "safe" to eat there as their whole business runs around tourists. Then there are mid-priced restaurants that cater to foreigners tastes. They have indian food but also italian, israeli and even mexican foods, all vegetarian of course, and of varying tastiness and quality, but these too are also "safe" for the same reason as above. Then there are Indian restaurants... which may or may not be safe, its your gamble. Because the local people grow up with the bacteria in the water and all that, just like mexico, they are immune to stomach problems due to bacteria. The Indian restaurants are cheap, sometimes a quarter of the price of the same item on one of the other restaurant's menus and the one i ate at was taaaaasty. I've been pretty much playing it safe and sticking to the first two types of restaurants. I really dislike the first type, tolerate the second type and so i am happy to find the tasty and cheap 3rd option, the Indian restaurant. I have been healthy so far, so i figured i could risk a little stomach upset in the name of adventure and trying something new. Besides, it was recommended to me by some australian friends and i've seen other foreigners eating in there so it must be fine. Its not all that flashy, and it looks like everything is prepared well, but the premises are never clean looking in ANY of the restaurants, by Canadian standards, and it is just something you have to get used to, otherwise you don't eat. You just gotta have faith.
So, we'll see, how it goes. The food was good, although a bit on the spicy side. Ayurvedic doctors tell me it is best if i stay away from spicy food as much as possible. Actually, there is an ayurvedic restaurant right next to my room. I go there alot, almost everyday, and the food is just glowing there, but you need a little variety and excitement. I can't eat there all the time.
Anyhow, enough about my dietary habits. I'm sure you are all thrilled.
what else?
oh, at the Indian restaurant... i only had one large bill and some small change, but the small change wasn't quite enough (i was 5 rupees short) and they never have change for a big bill. when you hand them 500 rupees, they almost always never have change, which is funny, because 500 rupees is only 12 dollars, but that is like.... a small fortune here, and they never have change. If you insist on paying with such a large bill, they send the lowest guy (or child) on the totem pole out with the 500 rupee bill to scare up change from someone else.
So the kid told me to just pay him some other time, the 5 rupees i owed him. This is a beautiful thing. This is not the first time someone has done this for me here. They are so trusting. I love it. They don't know if i'm gonna come back. they don't know me from a hole in the wall. But on a couple other occasions... in the same scenario at different establishments, they have shrugged off my bill completely saying i can pay next time i come, when i have change. Amazing. in a place where people have so little and scratch together every penny they can, they are willing to let me walk out the door, bill unpaid, a stranger, trusting completely that i am going to come back and pay them.
Just another one of those surprising contrasts that India is so famous for.
well. ... that's about all i have to report for now.
the science experiment carries on...

videos and pics

having some degree of success, finally, downloading videos to youtube again. There should be at least one new video there. Check it out. Remember its easiest if you search in youtube.com for "gypseangie" and then opt to sort by "date added", thus giving you the most recent additions first. Also, there are new photos at the bottom of this page for your perusal.

Skills i've acquired:

Good morning intrepid seekers and readers! yes, yes, i know, it has been a veritable eternity since i have written. i wrote a long entry yesterday and saved it on the desktop of a computer at a place when their server went down, so it is still saved there on the desktop, unsent.
i will pass by there today and lift it off the desktop and onto the internet, hopefully, if their systems are up and running.
Much I am learning here. I am learning how to step off the street when I hear a large truck approaching from behind me BEFORE he has a chance to honk, scaring the socks off me. Even though he has plenty of room to go past, they honk just to make sure you know they are there, as a courtesy to you so you don't step into their path unknowingly. Moving over without even looking back at the m is a clear unspoken indication to them that you are aware of their presence, thus nullifying their need to honk. Aha!! see, there IS a system. I'm just happy to have one less blaring horn in my ear.
I am learning other valuable skills as well (besides standing on my head): how to eat a hot breakfast (safely) for 75 cents, how to send a parcel by sea mail (not as easy as it sounds), how to use an indian style public toilet without touching anything OR (and this is so key) without trailing my pantleg or anything else on the perpetually wet and smelly floor. (Now I understand why they always remove footwear when going indoors).
I am learning how to joke and play and make friends with the people here because once they decide they like you, there is nothing they won't do to help you out. And having many friends is how you get things done around here, greases the wheels, so to speak. I have never seen a people so bonded in friendship before. It is beautiful. I am learning how to ask for a takeout bag for my leftovers in restaurants so I can feed it to the next lucky cow I meet in the street. Its the only place in the world where simply feeding the cattle is a religious act. Life is poetic here.
Everything is used and reused, very little is wasted. Unlike our culture where we throw something away at the slightest blemish or imperfection and just buy a new one. Here something is used and used and repaired and fixed and patched and used some more until it simply cannot be used anymore and even then, it often finds another life, reincarnated for some other purpose entirely.
I don't see the garbage and the dirt anymore. I only see the kindness people show, the determination with which they perform their daily activities and the mischievious smiles upon their faces.
Every culture, every country's people have something to teach the world, something to contribute to humanity. Each has their weaknesses and their strengths and when you travel, you search to learn from the positive attributes of a culture. Basically, if you look for the good in people, you'll never go wrong. And this can, and should, be applied to relations at home too. It just seems easier when you are travelling because you are so outside your normal routine and comfort zone and in an unfamiliar environment which automatically makes you more open, more receptive, less engrained in your ways and willing to try new things, new ideas.
So I don't see the poverty and the filth so much anymore, as when I first arrived. I mean... its there, it doesn't go away, but the eye gets used to such sights and begins to perceive them as normal. Also, i have access to nature, rivers and hills, so that is a nice tonic to balance out the business of the street and market.
When i go home, what won't seem normal to me at first will be how clean the streets are, and also how cold and lifeless and empty of people it will seem by comparison to the liveliness and warmth and noise and activity, heart and soul lived out full-on in the street here that i, at first, found so impossible and offensive when i arrived. It is amazing to me how much this has changed in my perspective in only one month and a half. I look forward to the next 8 months and what more changes lay in store.

naked foreigners, police and approving holy men

hello there, armchair travellers,
greetings from the motherland. new strategy on the pictures ok. i will now be posting all the new pictures, for the time being, at the very bottom of the blog. I have discovered that in this way.... they appear larger and not like thimble size, the way they have been along the right hand column. so, we'll try this for a while and see if it works. i woud eventually like to find a way to archive the older photos so that the website doesn't have to open up all the photos everytime you go there, taking forever, but baby steps, baby steps.
tech, tech, tech.
things bode well here. so much "progress" and work is going on in my mind and my heart, and ironically, it is all so that i can turn my mind off and just be in the moment. aah, so free.
having just enough challenges to keep me on my toes and just enough rewards to keep me delighted for a good portion of the day.
i am studying ayurveda and massage with a woman ayurvedic doctor here. i am learning alot. and i am learning so many things from just random people i meet in the street and stuff. i love this about it here. someone is always inviting you for tea or sharing their life with you in some small but significant way and my heart is touched on dozens of occasions every day. the place is pure magic for anyone who wants to see it.
i am still so glad i have come to rishikesh. it is a city but i am in the part of town that borders on the jungle hills, so it is almost tranquil at times, and it is easy to access nature, which is important. The river continues to be a huge source of energy for me. I thought at first I was imagining it. But it is unmistakeable. If i am not around her for a few days and then i go back to her side, and especially if i wash any part of my body in her waters and listen to her voice, something strange happens inside of me. something very pleasing and good. So i understand the love the Indian people have for their sacred river. I am just ever so grateful that i am so near to her source, so that the waters are still clean and unpolluted .
Youtube is giving me some grief again and i hope to have my latest videos up and running soon.
Today I found a spot by the river, just a short walk upstream where the beach is white sand, untouched, pristine, with big boulders here and there to lounge on, relax on, dry your laundry on. Miraculously there is no trash at all on the beach, and for a moment, with nary a shred of plastic in sight, you can imagine that you are not in india. or that you are in india before the evil invention that is plastic was discovered. The spot i found is idyllic. I found the hut i would like to live in, beside the river, but it is already inhabited by an old holy man, a sunnyasi, someone who has given up worldly possessions and lives very, very simply so that he can dedicate his time to spiritual life and pursuits rather than the constant acquisition and maintenance of material possessions. I don't think the hut has a door. It is made out of concrete or clay and looks quite sturdy, like it would stand up to a few monsoons, but you would have to sit quite away from the doors and windows, which are open except for a cloth, during a rain to ensure dryness. I doubt power or plumbing are part of the deal, and i know it sounds crazy... but it looks perfect for me.
At the water's edge, i removed my shoes and socks to feel that satiny sand under my feet. I hiked up my pants and waded in to my knees. so cool and refreshing. i offered water to the east, to the sun, and then poured two handfuls of water over my head and splashed my face before sitting down on a nice rock to meditate for a spell. So easy it is to sit in calm stillness, stillness of the body and stillness of the mind, listening to the sound of the river. The holy man sat back, looking over me from above at his hut so i waved and he waved back. He watched the foreigner perform the rituals of his people and sit down on a rock, like a rock, unmoving. He watched it all. Two other foreigners came down to the river, a young couple. Stripped to their shorts and tank tops and underwear. In they went, into the sacred river, where they stood up to their waists and embraced and kissed. This is not the rituals the Indians perform in their sacred river. I smiled, in appreciation, understanding their culture and understanding the thrill to stand with your lover in the sacred river, embracing. I looked away and gave them their privacy. Later, as i stood to leave, i noticed 3 police were talking to them. I took my shoes and socks closer to inconspicuously dust off the sand, dry my feet and put them away back in my shoes. I overheard the police questioning the kids about "smoking", accusing them of smoking and reprimanding them for their particular form of "bathing" in the Ganges. I listened, amused, as the foreigners argued with the men in uniform about what they were or were not doing there. Clearly the federales were not amused with their frisky frolicking in the river, half naked. Society is very conservative here. Nakedness, even partial nakedness, especially of women, is simply not done. no bare shoulders, no short skirts. anything less than full cover up is considered promiscuous and riske. There is a sign that says "no bikinis" at the beach, painted on a rock. Indian ladies bathe with clothes on. And that goes double for public displays of affection. I figure, why buck the customs? Why go against their culture and norms when you are guests in their country? if it was your country, parade around in your skivvies if you like (and we do), but why do it here? why?
Amused by the exchange, i carried on up the path. The path passes by the hut i want to live in and i look up into the gentle face of its inhabitant. I smile deeply and bow "namaste" to him, the common greeting here. he is responding to me with a huge beautiful smile and one thumb up and one hand up and he is excited. he is saying "good job" without speaking. With actions and sounds only he is expressing to me his great approval and acknowledgement as he was watching me from above. i put my hand to my heart and bow my head to accept his recognition. This warm and heartfelt exchange on both our parts sends me off with spirits soaring and my heart all melty and gooey. it is moments like this that make india pure magic.

kittens, puppies and hot showers

its funny how the mind seeks for diversions, distractions, ENTERTAINMENT. the mind cannot just sit with itself, even when there is a big beautiful green mountain to look at. I am trying to practice stillness. I am doing pretty good, i make it to about 4pm and then when i have napped and read and written and meditated, twice, and eaten, twice and scrubbed my laundry on the bathroom floor.... my mind wants ... entertainment. it is very very interesting how hard it is to just... be. To just contemplate and be still. Always always wanting, seeking, craving activity, stimulus, entertainment, something to keep it from itself. so very interesting.
I am waiting for a few more days until the teachers arrive here at the ashram from canada so i can discuss with them the possibility of my taking the teacher training in January. My mind is so focussed. Its very cool.
also i am interviewing various ayurvedic doctors to see who i want to work with over the next month.
I began brushing my teeth with tap water last week.... nothing has happened to me.
i found an internet place close to me that accepts my camera downloads, so now i should have some fresh photos coming soon.
The weather is cooling, it has been raining for a few days. Such a relief for me because i was melting in the heat before.
Have been focusing my practice on meditating as I am devising a new approach that takes into consideration that i cannot pursue a hard core yoga program due to my back flaring issue. It is all a great teaching and a great irony that i have come here and find myself so inhibited in my physical practice of yoga postures. It is a personal journey of healing that is teaching me much. I realize that always, in life, one should do what they CAN do, and not focus on what you can't do. For example, I am relaxing off yoga for the moment, to give the back time, but i CAN meditate, and so... therefore... i will meditate. and i can study, so i will study, there is a whole library of excellent books, fiction and non-fiction, in the ashram library. All this is part of my education too. and it teaches me patience, patience, patience and acceptance of what is.
The other day when it was raining so much, I went out, and the streets just turn to muck, sometimes its deep muck. very exciting to walk in such muck. i try not to think about what, besides just dirt, is comprising the muck.
I just found out today that our cow is going to have a baby! She already has one teenager and now i find out she is 3 months pregnant with baby number two. This is our cow that we get all our milk and yogurt from, and who we feed all our fruit peels and leftovers to. She's a sweety.
well... i guess i better head back to my balcony and my green mountain. First i think i'll slip down to the german bakery for a slice of brown bread with honey. a rare treat. aaaah, the simple things in life. Yesterday i had an ayurvedic consultation and an oil treatment on my back. Always an interesting experience. It was relaxing... and very hot, the oil, at times. Everything is different here eh. you know, the way things are done, at home, the level of cleanliness and professionalism one comes to expect in canada... that all goes out the window here, and that's just the way it is. there's no point in even being disgusted or miffed about it at all, cause the joke is just on you then. Whether its kittens and puppies running loose in the restaurant and sleeping on your feet while you eat, or its the clearly not freshly changed oil soaked cloth that you are invited to get up on for your relaxing oil treatment. its ok, you just enjoy it anyhow, and then go home and have a nice hot shower afterwards. i'm still healthy.

news from the hills of rishikesh

Hi ho there,
well, i've been tucked away so cozily in my ashram of choice i scarcely can find reason to leave there sometimes. It was raining so hard today, true monsoon. I feel guilty i haven't been posting any new pictures. This cafe does not allow downloading and uploading and it is a 2km walk to the one that does, so you'll forgive me if i am not so current with that. If its any consolation, there are no real photos to display anyway, the view is mostly the same. just imagine great big green jungly hills out my front window and that's pretty much what i see all day. I just finished my level one Reiki healing training. So that was very interesting. Not much new is going on besides that. Really. The life of a yogi is not all that exciting. Just a lot of sitting and stretching and breathing. hahaha.
i have an appointment with an ayurvedic doctor tomorrow, a consultation, so that should be good. i am in the process of interviewing a few because i am considering doing panchakarma, which is a cleansing and detoxifying program supervised by an ayurvedic doctor and tailored specifically for your particular disposition and make up (dosha) which they decide after analysing your pulse and various other factors about you.
Other than that, not much else to report. The weather is cooling, which is a tremendous relief. I was beginning to think i was going to succumb to tropical malaise under the pressure of the humidity and heat.
lots of love

doing nicely

hi, sorry no new photos at the moment. no technology, at the moment... but i have many months still to take pictures, right?

i've been hermitting at a good little ashram i found in a quiet neighborhood on the hill. founded by an indian and canadian couple. its a little slice of heaven. so i have everything i need there, 3 good vegetarian meals a day and twice daily yoga classes if i like.... a room with a view and 24hr access to either of the two yoga halls whenever i want. .... all for a very good price.

a very good place to practice. and peaceful.

things have been settling down for me here, as i am getting accustomed to it all. i have lots of time to think, and read and reflect and write and do all the things i want to do, and all the things that you never have time for when life is filled with jobs and kids and bills and social get- togethers. Its funny, but i feel so cut out for this. it just makes sense to me, and it fits me like a glove. i just slide into this type of life, with the meditation and the yoga and the solitary quietude ... as if i was born into it. it almost makes me think i have been, once before. this is what i have been craving.

so i think i might be spending a little more time there, and a little less time out and about in the street, in the chaos of the street, in the markets, cafes and internet places, but i will be thinking about all of you at home, our beautiful canadian home, we are so fortunate to live there, as most of you already know and appreciate.

Love to everyone and peace

i took it.

ok people....you GOT to be proud of me. This photo above, below the title, of the woman in the purple sari.... I took that! yes, that's right. i didn't download it off the internet or anything. I am so proud. I'm learning.

a days' adventures

Goddess bless, technology is co-operating today. Fingers crossed for video downloads.
Well, today I woke up off my straw filled mattress (for real!), washed my face and tripped down to the yoga hall for morning meditation, light yoga and breathwork. Afterwards, I took 2 pairs of pants up to the tailors, whom I stumbled across yesterday, to get them hemmed. The cost: 30 rupees for both hemmings. In canadian funds that works out to about.... 75 cents!! it is amazing. some things are tremendously inexpensive, like this hemming the pants... and my consultation with the doctor in Madras. not everything is cheap, sometimes prices are very inflated for foreigners.
I stopped at the post office on my way down the hill to inquire about sending a box to canada. i was invited into right into the back office where they then told me that "parcel service is currently suspended (for whatever reason), check again much later". i still haven't figured out how long is "much later" in Indian time. I was still trying to understand how parcel service could be "suspended", as in...not available... as in...you cannot send a box. I just sent a letter and 3 postcards yesterday. But this is India, and i am learning to enjoy these little moments of puzzling communication.
I then met up with a friend i met up at the sivananda ashram and we walked up to the other part of town, about 2km, to visit a coffee shop there. A REAL coffee shop, with actual espresso. On the way, we stopped at a massage/yoga/ayurveda/therapy place and booked massages. (part of my research and personal healing quest). The coffee shop had actual pastries and cappucino on the menu. only cappucino, no lattes, no pure espressos or any other espresso drink, but i ordered a cappucino and it was good. The word "cappucino" felt funny to speak, it has been so long. I ordered a chocolate croissant also, which was fantastic. You have to appreciate.... after eating for a week, on the floor, with your hands, food that has no garlic, no onions, no spice, no salt, your taste buds get pretty darn sensative. Things like chocolate croissants and cappucinos become the stuff of daydreams.
After this delightful indulgence we strolled around a bit and talked to a couple places about massage and massage courses and were recommended a good reiki teacher who just happened to be up at the very same coffee shop we had just been to... So back up the hill we went to talk to Shanti, the German reiki master. We found her, a silver-haired wisened elder woman, sitting with an equally wise looking Indian man. They were very amicable and offered us some nice cold water to drink in the heat while we discussed business. She agreed to see me tomorrow at 3pm at her house and drew me a treasure map how to get there.
After thanking her for her graciousness (everyone tends to be so enshrouded in mysticism, grace and reverence here, it is the most intoxicating combination of qualities), we parted and walked on to meet with our massages.
My massage was one of the most disappointing. I was slathered in oil, tons of oil, and that is pretty much it. the cost was: $10cad, the going rate. I left before my friend so I didn't get a chance to ask how his was but...ya, very strange massage. It seems that she had no idea what she was doing and was very poorly trained and didn't really care anyways. so i won't be signing up for their training anytime soon.
I went straight home and showered and washed my clothes while i was at it. Ate some fruit and went for dinner.
Now i'm here.
I've been making lots of friends. People are nice here. It is easy to meet both travellers and Indians and everyone has time to chit chat or help you or exchange information. I am never alone, unless i want to be and people are so helpful.
i have had to make such an adjustment from my original plans. First because i couldn't handle the pollution and mosquitos and heat in chennai to take that course there. and now... my back has been flaring up again, so i am having to back off on the yoga for now... which is so ironic to me, because here i am in the yoga capital of the world, and i can't do yoga. i know instinctively that this is what my body needs to do to heal the fastest possible way, because i've been here before. And i am here to take my teacher training, so i need my body healthy and strong. so this is a minor setback i will be working around. all part of my education. funny too, that i want to focus on yoga "therapy" and here i am with my very own therapeutic scenario that i am being called upon to heal. hmm.
so, i am going to start with the massage courses, and i am very interested in reiki as well, a japanese healing modality. i can take certification in both of these here. And i seek out treatments or anything that can help my back heal as quickly as possible, and in this way i will embark on the same journey any person would who has a health issue and is looking for healing. so in this way i will be experiencing what my future students would be experiencing when they come to a yoga therapist for help with their health issue. verrrrry interesting.
to me, anyway,
maybe this is not so interesting to you, but i think because it is interesting to me... it is interesting to you,, in any case, you can skim over this if it is of no interest. haha.
so what i am going to do now is shop around town, talk to people, check out different courses and centres and get a couple sessions with different teachers to see how they are before i commit to their courses. in this way i should be able to choose wisely. and at the same time... give my back the time it needs.
i know what i did too... i mean... at sivananda ashram last week i pushed too hard doing sun salutations in class. i felt it coming on, and i didn't listen to my body. This is the danger of group classes, you get caught up in what everyone else is doing and you forget to listen to your own bodies' voice. very important. and a good learning for me.
and in october, a good teacher named osha is coming back into to town and she has alot of experience with therapeutic yoga, so i plan to visit her. and my yoga therapy certification starts november 11th just a short trip away from here.

first day back in rishikesh

ok, here we go.... First of all I would like to beseech anyone, anyone who can give me some tech advice as to how i might create a photo album on this silly blog, where i can put all the photos i download so i don't have to just run them down the right side of the page. i don't know how to do it.. but i was wishing you could click on "photo album" and go to all the pics, rather than have them all here on the front page, but maybe it works alright as it is... I don't know.

India is constantly questioning and testing my idea of the world and how i think it "should" work. I am back in Rishikesh. Civilization. I was at Sivananda Kutir ashram 7 hours drive up in the Himalayas where the air is clean, you can drink from the river without fear and there is no sound but the rush of the river, constant and unrelenting, that can be heard from wherever you are at the ashram. I loved it there and the people i met were very cool. It was just really wonderful to be so far up in the mountains. Just a few hours further up that road and you run into holy men meditating in the caves up there, where the Ganges literally flows from out of the earth. So i am where i wanted to be. The power there and here is palpable. I spent a lot of time just sitting on a big rock in the river. You can hear the river say "om". At first I thought I was hearing a human voice, someone somewhere, in the meditation hall or somewhere, chanting "om", and i listened, i listened hard to this "voice". After some time I realized, this sound is not a human voice, this is the sound of the river herself, the universe itself, resounding "om". It is continuous and unbroken, this sound that sounds like many human voices perpetually chanting the sound of the universe. It puts you in quite a state to hear it and it makes you feel quite reverent.

Back in the hustle and bustle of Rishikesh, I feel around to find my feet. I know that I am going to be a resident here from some weeks or perhaps months... so I have to stop thinking of myself as a tourist. There are many interesting things here, people, studies, sights, to keep me occupied for some time. I think I will probably start with a massage course and some ayurvedic treatments and studies. I feel there is some more work I need to do on my own health first, before I begin to learn how to heal others. It is interesting to me how this priority has worked its way into my consciousness. All this time since arriving in this country I have been purifying, healing and strengthening, in body and in spirit.

So along with the priority of healing myself and growing myself stronger... is the priority of settling into a lifestyle that is economical and sustainable. This involves finding a "home", a place to stay that is cheap and comfortable. Today I checked into Ved Niketan Ashram for 3 nights. It is popular with travellers and there are many many rooms set around a central "courtyard". i put courtyard in quotations because it involves a grassy areas with walkways crisscrossing it, one single cow tethered to a post and a work crew busily contructing a.... shrine? i'm going to guess. I believe the yoga hall also occupies the center of the area.

My room is exactly like what i imagine a jail cell to be... stark, more than basic, no frills and sparse in its furnishings. i have a bed and some shelves built right into the plaster of the wall. but it is totally fresh and clean smelling, and not in a toxic cleaning chemical sort of way but in a moutain meadow kind of way and the energy in it is quite good. The price is right... it costs exactly $2.40 canadian per night, and that includes yoga and meditation classes daily and the bathroom is shared. quite a deal. So. based on that, i can live on as little as 5 dollars or less per day while i decide what needs to happen next. i will stay there 3 nights and in that time i will scope the city to see if i find something better. I tell myself... this is the real India. If they can live with so little and if all these other travellers can... then so can I. i didn't come here for a vacation after all. and what better way to understand the people than to live like them. My health remains good and i've even had the opposite problem of "Delhi belly", somehow. I don't know how or why. I must be the only person who comes to India and has the opposite problem. anyhow. too much information.

I am relieved and happy that Rishikesh is so safe. Being a kind of pilgrimage center, it is very friendly and safe, even at night. I never feel any concern for my safety here. Very important.

This morning I had an interesting conversation with Ram, the person who works at the rooftop restaurant where i had breakfast, overlooking the water and in a nice westerly breeze. Banana pancakes, a banana lassi, and chai,( if you must know.) His English was quite good and he was happy to share his views and opinions about Indians and their ways and Westerners and their ways, and i was able to ask him questions and express my concerns about my slowness to adapt to such a different environment. His comments and observations were quite illuminating for me and gave me some insight as to how the people think and operate and i feel much more at home here as a result. It is like learning a whole other language when you are learning the ways of a people and a culture and how things operate. wow.

I am learning and I am coming to realize that the people here are very warm, accepting, and loving. Their greatest resource is eachother and they are used to helping one another and working together very closely.... at a range that would make most westeners cringe. It is just so different from Canada and i marvel everyday at how my long time dream could have been to come to a place like this, where the filth and the poverty, the noise and crush of activity, are suffocating at times. I have moments of panic over what i have done and what a big piece i have bitten off and now have to chew. but that is the whole reason why i have done this. to push myself, because i knew in coming here... there would be no turning back for me. and instinctively, i feel that this is the place i need to be to grow in the way i need to grow. it is like a tonic or a medicine somehow, and it doesn't always taste so good, you might make a face, but it is very good for you.

It is like sinking or swimming, i have no choice but to thrive. It will take me some time to adjust to everything here, and i know that once i do, it will be time to go home, and for all the struggling with myself to adjust, it will probably break my heart when i leave. and all the things i now find exasperating or disgusting will be completely overshadowed by the jewel of humanity that will uncover itself over time.

well, that is quite enough rambling i think. all this writing is so self indulgent. writing on the blog is hard. it is easier when i write personal emails to convey what needs to be said. writing here seems to overwhelm me. it is intimidating. but i'll get over myself. soon.

here's to laughter and friendship and strangers who smile.

love to all

I'm ON the ganges!!

Things have just been going tremendously well every since i decided to leave the south and come north. So smooth sailing. I am in rishikesh tonight. just arrived on the train and bus today. my room is right on the ganges, and it looks out over the river and i can HEAR the beautiful sacred ganga roaring past my window when i go to sleep tonight. I'm in heaven. I cannot describe my joy to be here. I've seen so many monkeys here, everywhere. and the sacred cows. i have not seen beef on the menu anywhere since i arrived in india. the cows here are the cleanest, cutest and most lovely cows you'd ever meet. i guess that's what comes from being sacred.
i bathed in the holy waters, well... i soaked my feet. It felt wonderful, as my sins washed away. I am surprised that there are places where you can go down to the river and you are the only one there. i was alone, all alone, which hasn't happened to me outside since... canada. if i am not in my room somewhere and i am out... i am surrounded by people.
the nice thing about rishikesh as there are areas of town that are no cars. it is a quiet slow pace. "shanti" as they say... peaceful.
the river ganga is clean here because we are so close to the source. There are still not alot of foreigners here. i expected more. i am delighted, actually, that rishikesh seems to remain unchanged by time.. not that i have been here before.. in THIS lifetime.
Rishikesh is full of spiritual seekers. Still mostly Indian, from other parts of india. people make pilgrimages here, to bathe in the river. to spread the ashes of their dead. things like that.
the town is full of ashrams.
i am in my element.
but still.... i seek more solitude.
Tomorrow at around 5am i will get on the 8 hour bus ride to Uttarkashi and Netala to go to Sivananda Kutir ashram.
i have received other confirmation from other ashrams too, that i may visit. it is so exciting.
today i found out that i can attend the 2 week yoga therapy course near here, that gives you a certificate. that is from november 11-30.
i will stay at sivananda kutir deep in the mountains from tomorrow until September 8th. i will not have email access during this time. yay!
i'm going to go post vids and pics now if i can... i think i have stumbled across a place with the technology here.
let's see....

some good news!!

some very exciting news today. I telephoned the ashram, Sivananda Kutir, just now. To request permission to stay there beginning September 2nd. They confirmed that I may come but only dorm accommodation is available (that's what i wanted anyway) for around 11$CAD per day. This includes everything at the ashram, food, lodging, and all classes and activities and sessions. You are required to partake in all the meditations and group morning and evening classes and gatherings, everything, the chanting, the singing, and it's quite strict, silent meals, etc. It is also very remote, right next to the river, and the mountains. Along the right side of the blog site here, underneath the pictures and "about me" yadda yadda, you will see a small picture of it. click on it. This is where i will be. This is where i am registered to take my teacher training in april, so i am happy to get the chance to stay there and check it out before i go into my formal training there. Also i will be able to ask them if there is a possibility of staying there for a longer duration sometime between now and april, and to possibly ask if there are any last minute cancellations for the october 2008 teacher training where i might be able to do the training earlier than april 2009.
sorry, just all my thinking out loud. But basically, my stay there right now will just be a regular stay, not a teacher training of course. So i am very excited... to finally get out of the cities and into the mountains and into a quiet place where i can begin to practice again. so good.
So i believe that this is a place where there is no internet for sure, and in fact, perhaps, no internet in the town a short walk away, but perhaps. we shall see.
so just a word of warning.... if i "disappear" from the internet ... this is the reason why. and if it turns into a couple weeks... don't worry, this is why: i am in the himalayas, by the ganges. apparently, i was reading online someone's blog i guess (i googled the ashram, this is the wonderful thing about the internet, you can gleen so much information that people write about places, their experiences and impressions). and she wrote that she was there and there was a noisy gushing waterfall right outside her window so she couldn't sleep and it was so isolated and tranquil and strict, she couldn't stand it. i laughed and thought: now this is a place for me.

tech break down

i'm a little disappointed again as i tried to download pics from my camera and i can't. the computer doesnt have a program for that. i hope this isn't going to be an ongoing issue. perhaps i will have to figure out how to download a program onto a given computer that will handle my camera. when i first got to chennai, that first night i had a computer in my room and that was the only one where it worked. so if any of you technophiles out there have any suggestions....i'm all ears.

being canadian

i wanted to mention... my 2.5hour flight from chennai to delhi today... cost me about $132 canadian. that is, you know, like, a day and a half's wages for me at kamloops dodge. Today i read in the newspaper that a park ranger here makes about...$50 dollars a month wage!! so that ticket i just bought would have been almost 3 months wages for him! this gives you and idea. so only the rich fly. it was almost all indians on my domestic flight, but you know that they are all rich indians. because who else can afford a ticket when it costs three months wages!!!.

i also read somewhere else that most indian people live on an average of one dollar a day. wow. it boggles the mind.

we are so fortunate, blessed, to have been born into the society we have been. and we bitch and we moan about taxes and government and all sorts of silly petty things, instead of living and appreciating our abundance and lack of true suffering. i know already that one of the benefits that i will reap from this trip when i get home is a feeling of power and wealth. i think it will really feel like... i will FEEL how much power and wealth i have, i can truly do anything. these people, they can not. so how do i want to make the best use out of the power and wealth that i was so randomly born into, just by virtue of being canadian? that is what i am now wondering.

Delhi

Delhi is a breeeeeeze compared to Chennai. Holy cow, so to speak. I never thought i'd say it but
Delhi is calmer and more organized and CLEANER, so much more so that it makes me laugh so hard that Chennai was my introduction to India. Wow, what a difference. This is the city i thought i was landing in. I mean... i could have adjusted to this much easier than what was before my eyes in chennai.. wow. i can't stop saying wow. i can't believe that two parts of india could be more different. I tried not to have my judgements there, i tried not to measure that world against my western developed world values and expectations, but i think i failed at it, honestly, bigtime. The upside to all of this is that i am delighted with my decision to come to Delhi, and also... after where i have been... it makes delhi seem like a cake-walk in comparison. Services, infrastructure.... abounds. and when i say this, i mean... compared to where i was in chennai, and it seems like the whole city of chennai was this way....i was a bit of a freak. i knew a single woman travelling alone looks conspicuous and people don't understand you, why you are there, why you would want to come there, and alone no less. its hard to explain but...it is a bit unnerving. Here there are other tourists, people are accustomed to dealing with them, and you don't feel like some pink flamingo in the zoo that some might be considering for lunch. anyhow. i feel better.

So on the malaria front..... good news.... still no fever. so it is possible, from the research and talking to the doctor and stuff, that a person just gets a kind of a flu type thing, coming into this climate and in monsoon season to boot. so without the fever, i can't even begin to think it is malaria or dengue or anything else mozzie born. so that's good. i hope i didn't make any of you too worried. I am noticing a tendency to want to hold back on all the gory details because i don't want any one to worry about me. So you all just have to know that i am playing everything really safe and i know how to do that and you just have to trust that i do and all will be fine. fine.
So after delhi, i head to Haridwar, which is on the way to Rishikesh. i have to look in to the train availability next.
Today was day five and it was time for a pizza and coke. so i had one, a pizza and a coke. the coke was so yummy cause it was in a glass bottle, so of course it tasted better, and the pizza was possibly the worst i've ever had.... didn't even taste like pizza. So now that i have that out of my system, i can go back to eating yummy indian food.
I'm really sorry i haven't been putting many pictures of the place on here. It is considered rude to take pictures of people, especially women, and i am finding that that is exactly who i want to take pictures of most... they are so beautiful in their saris. Chennai was very traditional too, so all the women wore a sari or....the other more modern tunic and pants and scarf. still pretty. So i see people frown whenever i take out my camera and i just figure... its not worth it, and i put the camera away. but i sneak a picture here or there of innocuous things like streets and trains and the window out of the airplane.
Oh, that was fun. flying domestic with Indigo Air from Chennai to Delhi .. very efficient and professional. no major problems to report. a bit of turbulence, which makes you alot more nervous than turbulence on a big airline on a big plane, cause you are on a smaller plane on an Indian airline.... so you can imagine.
Anyways. that's all for now kids. I miss everyone very much, and i have dreams about Canada and friends and family all the time, so i don't really feel like i am that far away.
oh, and marie, the ring is working like a charm... literally.