some very exciting news today. I telephoned the ashram, Sivananda Kutir, just now. To request permission to stay there beginning September 2nd. They confirmed that I may come but only dorm accommodation is available (that's what i wanted anyway) for around 11$CAD per day. This includes everything at the ashram, food, lodging, and all classes and activities and sessions. You are required to partake in all the meditations and group morning and evening classes and gatherings, everything, the chanting, the singing, and it's quite strict, silent meals, etc. It is also very remote, right next to the river, and the mountains. Along the right side of the blog site here, underneath the pictures and "about me" yadda yadda, you will see a small picture of it. click on it. This is where i will be. This is where i am registered to take my teacher training in april, so i am happy to get the chance to stay there and check it out before i go into my formal training there. Also i will be able to ask them if there is a possibility of staying there for a longer duration sometime between now and april, and to possibly ask if there are any last minute cancellations for the october 2008 teacher training where i might be able to do the training earlier than april 2009.
sorry, just all my thinking out loud. But basically, my stay there right now will just be a regular stay, not a teacher training of course. So i am very excited... to finally get out of the cities and into the mountains and into a quiet place where i can begin to practice again. so good.
So i believe that this is a place where there is no internet for sure, and in fact, perhaps, no internet in the town a short walk away, but perhaps. we shall see.
so just a word of warning.... if i "disappear" from the internet ... this is the reason why. and if it turns into a couple weeks... don't worry, this is why: i am in the himalayas, by the ganges. apparently, i was reading online someone's blog i guess (i googled the ashram, this is the wonderful thing about the internet, you can gleen so much information that people write about places, their experiences and impressions). and she wrote that she was there and there was a noisy gushing waterfall right outside her window so she couldn't sleep and it was so isolated and tranquil and strict, she couldn't stand it. i laughed and thought: now this is a place for me.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
tech break down
i'm a little disappointed again as i tried to download pics from my camera and i can't. the computer doesnt have a program for that. i hope this isn't going to be an ongoing issue. perhaps i will have to figure out how to download a program onto a given computer that will handle my camera. when i first got to chennai, that first night i had a computer in my room and that was the only one where it worked. so if any of you technophiles out there have any suggestions....i'm all ears.
being canadian
i wanted to mention... my 2.5hour flight from chennai to delhi today... cost me about $132 canadian. that is, you know, like, a day and a half's wages for me at kamloops dodge. Today i read in the newspaper that a park ranger here makes about...$50 dollars a month wage!! so that ticket i just bought would have been almost 3 months wages for him! this gives you and idea. so only the rich fly. it was almost all indians on my domestic flight, but you know that they are all rich indians. because who else can afford a ticket when it costs three months wages!!!.
i also read somewhere else that most indian people live on an average of one dollar a day. wow. it boggles the mind.
we are so fortunate, blessed, to have been born into the society we have been. and we bitch and we moan about taxes and government and all sorts of silly petty things, instead of living and appreciating our abundance and lack of true suffering. i know already that one of the benefits that i will reap from this trip when i get home is a feeling of power and wealth. i think it will really feel like... i will FEEL how much power and wealth i have, i can truly do anything. these people, they can not. so how do i want to make the best use out of the power and wealth that i was so randomly born into, just by virtue of being canadian? that is what i am now wondering.
Delhi
Delhi is a breeeeeeze compared to Chennai. Holy cow, so to speak. I never thought i'd say it but
Delhi is calmer and more organized and CLEANER, so much more so that it makes me laugh so hard that Chennai was my introduction to India. Wow, what a difference. This is the city i thought i was landing in. I mean... i could have adjusted to this much easier than what was before my eyes in chennai.. wow. i can't stop saying wow. i can't believe that two parts of india could be more different. I tried not to have my judgements there, i tried not to measure that world against my western developed world values and expectations, but i think i failed at it, honestly, bigtime. The upside to all of this is that i am delighted with my decision to come to Delhi, and also... after where i have been... it makes delhi seem like a cake-walk in comparison. Services, infrastructure.... abounds. and when i say this, i mean... compared to where i was in chennai, and it seems like the whole city of chennai was this way....i was a bit of a freak. i knew a single woman travelling alone looks conspicuous and people don't understand you, why you are there, why you would want to come there, and alone no less. its hard to explain but...it is a bit unnerving. Here there are other tourists, people are accustomed to dealing with them, and you don't feel like some pink flamingo in the zoo that some might be considering for lunch. anyhow. i feel better.
So on the malaria front..... good news.... still no fever. so it is possible, from the research and talking to the doctor and stuff, that a person just gets a kind of a flu type thing, coming into this climate and in monsoon season to boot. so without the fever, i can't even begin to think it is malaria or dengue or anything else mozzie born. so that's good. i hope i didn't make any of you too worried. I am noticing a tendency to want to hold back on all the gory details because i don't want any one to worry about me. So you all just have to know that i am playing everything really safe and i know how to do that and you just have to trust that i do and all will be fine. fine.
So after delhi, i head to Haridwar, which is on the way to Rishikesh. i have to look in to the train availability next.
Today was day five and it was time for a pizza and coke. so i had one, a pizza and a coke. the coke was so yummy cause it was in a glass bottle, so of course it tasted better, and the pizza was possibly the worst i've ever had.... didn't even taste like pizza. So now that i have that out of my system, i can go back to eating yummy indian food.
I'm really sorry i haven't been putting many pictures of the place on here. It is considered rude to take pictures of people, especially women, and i am finding that that is exactly who i want to take pictures of most... they are so beautiful in their saris. Chennai was very traditional too, so all the women wore a sari or....the other more modern tunic and pants and scarf. still pretty. So i see people frown whenever i take out my camera and i just figure... its not worth it, and i put the camera away. but i sneak a picture here or there of innocuous things like streets and trains and the window out of the airplane.
Oh, that was fun. flying domestic with Indigo Air from Chennai to Delhi .. very efficient and professional. no major problems to report. a bit of turbulence, which makes you alot more nervous than turbulence on a big airline on a big plane, cause you are on a smaller plane on an Indian airline.... so you can imagine.
Anyways. that's all for now kids. I miss everyone very much, and i have dreams about Canada and friends and family all the time, so i don't really feel like i am that far away.
oh, and marie, the ring is working like a charm... literally.
Delhi is calmer and more organized and CLEANER, so much more so that it makes me laugh so hard that Chennai was my introduction to India. Wow, what a difference. This is the city i thought i was landing in. I mean... i could have adjusted to this much easier than what was before my eyes in chennai.. wow. i can't stop saying wow. i can't believe that two parts of india could be more different. I tried not to have my judgements there, i tried not to measure that world against my western developed world values and expectations, but i think i failed at it, honestly, bigtime. The upside to all of this is that i am delighted with my decision to come to Delhi, and also... after where i have been... it makes delhi seem like a cake-walk in comparison. Services, infrastructure.... abounds. and when i say this, i mean... compared to where i was in chennai, and it seems like the whole city of chennai was this way....i was a bit of a freak. i knew a single woman travelling alone looks conspicuous and people don't understand you, why you are there, why you would want to come there, and alone no less. its hard to explain but...it is a bit unnerving. Here there are other tourists, people are accustomed to dealing with them, and you don't feel like some pink flamingo in the zoo that some might be considering for lunch. anyhow. i feel better.
So on the malaria front..... good news.... still no fever. so it is possible, from the research and talking to the doctor and stuff, that a person just gets a kind of a flu type thing, coming into this climate and in monsoon season to boot. so without the fever, i can't even begin to think it is malaria or dengue or anything else mozzie born. so that's good. i hope i didn't make any of you too worried. I am noticing a tendency to want to hold back on all the gory details because i don't want any one to worry about me. So you all just have to know that i am playing everything really safe and i know how to do that and you just have to trust that i do and all will be fine. fine.
So after delhi, i head to Haridwar, which is on the way to Rishikesh. i have to look in to the train availability next.
Today was day five and it was time for a pizza and coke. so i had one, a pizza and a coke. the coke was so yummy cause it was in a glass bottle, so of course it tasted better, and the pizza was possibly the worst i've ever had.... didn't even taste like pizza. So now that i have that out of my system, i can go back to eating yummy indian food.
I'm really sorry i haven't been putting many pictures of the place on here. It is considered rude to take pictures of people, especially women, and i am finding that that is exactly who i want to take pictures of most... they are so beautiful in their saris. Chennai was very traditional too, so all the women wore a sari or....the other more modern tunic and pants and scarf. still pretty. So i see people frown whenever i take out my camera and i just figure... its not worth it, and i put the camera away. but i sneak a picture here or there of innocuous things like streets and trains and the window out of the airplane.
Oh, that was fun. flying domestic with Indigo Air from Chennai to Delhi .. very efficient and professional. no major problems to report. a bit of turbulence, which makes you alot more nervous than turbulence on a big airline on a big plane, cause you are on a smaller plane on an Indian airline.... so you can imagine.
Anyways. that's all for now kids. I miss everyone very much, and i have dreams about Canada and friends and family all the time, so i don't really feel like i am that far away.
oh, and marie, the ring is working like a charm... literally.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
an education in malaria
Finally the jetlag is subsiding. starting to get on a regular sane schedule. funny story... i was going to give my laundry to a laundry service here. it is cheap and there is no means for me to wash it myself, although i do was some items by hand. that brings me to my story. of course i don't give my fine washables over,... i wash them myself. and last night, as i stepped into the bathroom which turns into a whole shower with a drain in the floor (remember to remove your toilet paper and towels first). and i saw the bucket. everybathroom has one. this one looked very new and shiny, and as i'm stepping into the bathroom/shower, it occurs to me that the easiest way to wash my fine washables would be exactly as that youtube video i posted on this site, as a joke, a couple months ago where they show you how to wash your clothes in a bucket. i seriuosly thought it was a funny joke.... but i realize now, it is VERY practical! and easy and effective. so that was so cool. i was laughing so hard as i squished my clothes beneath my feet in the bucket. the ony catch is... you can't have feet any longer than mine, otherwise they won't fit in the bucket.
I might as well tell you... yesterday I had the experience of going to an indian hospital. and i hav to say.....it kicked butt on canadian hospitals and medical care in general. You see, i had these two weird night where i was experience what i thought were symptoms of malaria, and i had been bitten by night mosquitos and it is monsoon season which is very high risk for malaria in this area. i didn't take malaria pills because i was under the impression that the risk was only in rural areas in the south, and i was intending to be in the city in the south.... plus i hate anti-malarials, they make me feel so ill. so anyway... i was having these issues at night and i didn't know if it was jetlag, or heat, or what. i thought it could have been psychosomatic as i panicked about having malaria. They really put the fear into you in canada. i remember i had a travel health nurse say to me a few years ago ..."what, you don't want to take chloroquine because it makes you nauseous? that's better than getting malaria!" making it sound like this horrible horrible thing.
so i went to the doctor. the guidebook recommended a couple good hospitals, and chose St. Isabel's hospital. It sounded clean.
Indeed, it was a pleasant and peaceful environment. everyone spoke english and kindly directed me to the sign in counter. The man behind the desk politely informed me that the general practitioner was available and that i could go directly to room 11. and the cost for doctor consultation which i paid on the spot? ... 150INR (indian rupees)... ok... so that is....about $3.75 canadian. it costs 3 dollars and 75 cents to see a doctor here!!!!!! that has got to be the best value i've found so far for any good or services yet. wow. aand the wait... oh.. about 5-10 minutes.
The doctor was charming, enjoyable, professional and totally informative and interested in my case. he even gave me a tutorial on how to use a thermometre. we had a hoot. the entire visit he had the smile of bemusement . i could tell that my whole story and experience was very amusing to him. we spoke about all sorts of things. that's the thing, people like doctors and highly educated people are very .... sort of .. . civilized, i guess, of very high mind. which is a contrast to all the suffering and struggle one sees on the day to day in the streets.
so after hearing my complaints he confirmed it was malaria, and gave me a prescription for the antidote. then as we talked somemore, i confessed to him that although i was experiencing many of the other symptoms at night (typical for malaria to feel fine during the day) I really didn't know if i had a fever or not. how can one tell in this heat and humidity if one is burning up and there is no loved one to put a hand to your forhead. so he took my temp, it was normal, but he said that it would be normal in the day , and high only at night. Then as we talked some more (he gave me such good service and asked all the right questions, taking his time, unlike canadian doctors) it came out that i have only been here for like... 3 days , and he said it is impossible to be experiencing the symptoms after only 1 or 2 days of being in the country. They take at least a week to show up. so then he thinks its not possible to be malaria and asks if i would like to stay in the hospital for a night so they can monitor me and see what it happening. i politely decline, as nice of an experience as i am having, i don't think i would enjoy a whole nights stay in the hospital. Plus, i am calmed by the fact that he is so blase about the whole malaria thing. So we decided that i will purchase a thermometre and monitor my own temperature in the night. And .... armed with his prescription, in case i need it, i happily bid him farewell and trot out the door. He smiles his big warm fatherly smile at me, a smile that fills me with comfort and joy at its memory througout the day. So last night i monitored.... no fever.
but he also suggested getting 5 malaria tablets for 5 weeks. i suspect that the 5 weeks will take me to the end of monsoon season at which time the risk will be almost non-existent after the place drys up a bit. so that is what i will do.
This is NOT the Ganges folks
Welcome to Madras, as i am going to fondly call it from now on. Having seen the ocean today, the Bay of Bengal, for the first time... i have decided that this is Madras, the old name, not Chennai, the new one. You can see it when you see the Ocean. Its' a long story.
It is strange but... just in the course of one day, of just a few hours' outing's experiences provide me with so many things i want to tell you. My mind rushes.
It has taken me 3 days to get to the sea. and everyone knows how much i love the sea. i decided to walk there from a place i had to go before that, since on the map, i figured it was a good walking distance. and it was. through the hot and busy, bustling businessy streets of Madras. Just being out in the street for any length of time sucks the lifeblood out of you. Sensory overload, even as i walk head down, not making eye contact, not taking any chances, all business, me. I have noticed that if you smile at the women, they will always break out into the widest tooth filled smile that lights up your whole day, but i have found it is simpler and safer and easier to just keep my eyes on the road ahead. No one bothers me.
I could tell i was getting closer to the water by the air that began to cool. Then a sea salt breeze hit me, I began to get excited. The smell and feel of the cool sea air.... i breathed it in with relish after the choking exhaust fumes i have been sucking up the past couple days. it feels like i have been here a week at least, and it has only been a miraculous 3 days. it is easy to loose track of the days, i get lost in time. i dont' know why. i have to seriously sit down and keep track, and tell myself the day and time several times throughout the day so i remember.
Crossing the last thoroughfair and passing a church, i see it. the sea. i have to walk past some piles of rubble and crumbling buildings, down some steps past some people sleeping under a tree and i realize... this is the last frontier, no man's land. this is the first time i have stepped out of the city hustle and bustle and rickshaws running you over and people and dogs, in 3 days. one more seaside road i cross and i am on sand. there is alot of garbage, just like anywhere else here, but i am already used to and resigned to this. i've seen it before in other countries, perhaps not quite as bad as this, but you get used to it. the sand is fine and the wind is blowing hard and strong from off shore. there are people, mostly young people or people taking breaks from their work. alot of men, and if there are women, they are with men, or in groups. i assess the situation. there are goats! in front of me are a whole herd of goats, wild, grazing on some greenery on the beach. weird. i look out and see that there is a couple, sitting at the edge where the sand makes a ledge before the surf, so i carefully choose a spot near them, where i can bask in the safeness of their proximity. I am relieved to find that even though i have been living in the lap of comfort and coziness at home in canada for so long, that i haven't lost my common sense and street smarts and am able to assess and adjust according to the given situation.
My instincts are right and after about 2 minutes, 2 guys sit down a couple feet away from me and say hello. i don't look at them, but instead i look over at the couple, the man of the couple smiles and gestures to come over. I waste no time in gathering myself up and coming right over. They are a wonderful couple of people and i am grateful for their invitation. They immediately understood my situation and were on the same wavelength as me. both spoke some english, so we shared some stories for a bit. Boys were swimming in the surf and i wanted so much to stick in a toe, but it just wasn't the place. plus i am unsure about the safety of the water, even for my toe. so for now, i am erring on the side of caution. always.
i ache for nature, i pine for the mountains, i yearn for the ganges and a community of quiet yogis with whom to live.
Today i bought a plane ticket to Delhi and from there i will head straight to Rishikesh in the himalayas. I've made the decision to change up my trip a bit. I have come to india for that, to be in the ashram, not to be living in the city, this crazy city where there is only me and 7 other foreigners in total it seems. so even though there was the course here i was interested in, i've put no money down on it, so no money lost on it, plus the cost of living here which i will save if i am not here, i have weighed the options and decided that i want to go.
so there.
it is fun to be on my own and be able to change my mind like that, and it affects no one but myself.
today i saw a man ridign a horse through the gnarly traffic. the horse was spooked, cause its crazy , honking and people speeding within inches of one another. today i discovered that the horn is used for many things... it is used to say a friendly "hey, i'm right here, just so you know"... or "hurry the hell up, what is taking so long" or my favourit today i noticed "i'm coming through at top friggin speed so you better get out of the way cause i'm not slowing down for nothing". i saw a school bus do that today actually, and a motorbike, but the school bus made me laugh. its a different kind of honking too, different honks mean different things, just like dog barks. the get the hell out of my way one is just the most incessant, urgent series of non-stop honks that you can't mistake for anything else.
The room key, when i go in your room, fits in a slot inside the door that activates the power to the room. isn't that interesting? so when you leave, you have to take the key and therefore must shut the power off. what a great idea.
the technology, i must say, is totally out of sinc with how some other things here are so primitive. i actually saw yesterday, in my meanderings, the biggest big screen flat screen t.v. box, on its way in or out of a house that looked not much bigger than the t.v. itself in a neighbourhood that clearly lacked interior plumbing. how is that possible? just another one of the oxymoron you see here everyday.
i have a feeling that i will spend many months adjusting to life here, and being uncomfortable with it at every step of the way, only to find myself heartbroken to leave. there is something about it, there is magic amongst the filth. there is life and warmth.
even the traffic reminds me of quantum physics. how one participant of the traffic knows what another part on the other side is doing at any given time which makes you think it is not seperate entities but one cohesive entity. sort of exactly like a flock of birds.
i could never drive here. there are no lanes, no traffic lights, it seems like a gian game of pole position and there are rules, obviously, that i don't think i could ever pick up.
I am learning that if i want people to understand my english i have to speak with more of the indian lilt in my voice. which makes me laugh because all my friends at kamloops dodge teased me so much about practicing my indian accent, and funnily enough, that is exactly what one needs to do. for example, they don't usually understand the past tense, instead of saying "i said, i thought, i walked" you have to say " i was saying, i was thinking, i was walking" for them to understand. funny huh. and i have also learned to seek out someone more highly educated to speak english, because just joe blow on teh street usually does not, but say a pharmacist, a doctor, or even a .... well, there's no way to really tell, really. cause today my rickshaw driver (some of whom are very poor and uneducated) spoke very good english and he is a student of political science at the university. so there no telling.
Where i bought my plane ticket... boy that place was a zoo. 6 people working behind a counter only about 8 feet long. talking on phones and to customers in front of them.... everyone was yelling to be heard above everyone else, so that the sound was escalating into a 6 ring circus, replete with cellular ring tones going off with all kinds of crazy music.... 6 ring circus.
but i got my ticket and it was relatively cheap.
i fly out saturday.
ok, i better sign off now,
time is high.
lotsa love to all
It is strange but... just in the course of one day, of just a few hours' outing's experiences provide me with so many things i want to tell you. My mind rushes.
It has taken me 3 days to get to the sea. and everyone knows how much i love the sea. i decided to walk there from a place i had to go before that, since on the map, i figured it was a good walking distance. and it was. through the hot and busy, bustling businessy streets of Madras. Just being out in the street for any length of time sucks the lifeblood out of you. Sensory overload, even as i walk head down, not making eye contact, not taking any chances, all business, me. I have noticed that if you smile at the women, they will always break out into the widest tooth filled smile that lights up your whole day, but i have found it is simpler and safer and easier to just keep my eyes on the road ahead. No one bothers me.
I could tell i was getting closer to the water by the air that began to cool. Then a sea salt breeze hit me, I began to get excited. The smell and feel of the cool sea air.... i breathed it in with relish after the choking exhaust fumes i have been sucking up the past couple days. it feels like i have been here a week at least, and it has only been a miraculous 3 days. it is easy to loose track of the days, i get lost in time. i dont' know why. i have to seriously sit down and keep track, and tell myself the day and time several times throughout the day so i remember.
Crossing the last thoroughfair and passing a church, i see it. the sea. i have to walk past some piles of rubble and crumbling buildings, down some steps past some people sleeping under a tree and i realize... this is the last frontier, no man's land. this is the first time i have stepped out of the city hustle and bustle and rickshaws running you over and people and dogs, in 3 days. one more seaside road i cross and i am on sand. there is alot of garbage, just like anywhere else here, but i am already used to and resigned to this. i've seen it before in other countries, perhaps not quite as bad as this, but you get used to it. the sand is fine and the wind is blowing hard and strong from off shore. there are people, mostly young people or people taking breaks from their work. alot of men, and if there are women, they are with men, or in groups. i assess the situation. there are goats! in front of me are a whole herd of goats, wild, grazing on some greenery on the beach. weird. i look out and see that there is a couple, sitting at the edge where the sand makes a ledge before the surf, so i carefully choose a spot near them, where i can bask in the safeness of their proximity. I am relieved to find that even though i have been living in the lap of comfort and coziness at home in canada for so long, that i haven't lost my common sense and street smarts and am able to assess and adjust according to the given situation.
My instincts are right and after about 2 minutes, 2 guys sit down a couple feet away from me and say hello. i don't look at them, but instead i look over at the couple, the man of the couple smiles and gestures to come over. I waste no time in gathering myself up and coming right over. They are a wonderful couple of people and i am grateful for their invitation. They immediately understood my situation and were on the same wavelength as me. both spoke some english, so we shared some stories for a bit. Boys were swimming in the surf and i wanted so much to stick in a toe, but it just wasn't the place. plus i am unsure about the safety of the water, even for my toe. so for now, i am erring on the side of caution. always.
i ache for nature, i pine for the mountains, i yearn for the ganges and a community of quiet yogis with whom to live.
Today i bought a plane ticket to Delhi and from there i will head straight to Rishikesh in the himalayas. I've made the decision to change up my trip a bit. I have come to india for that, to be in the ashram, not to be living in the city, this crazy city where there is only me and 7 other foreigners in total it seems. so even though there was the course here i was interested in, i've put no money down on it, so no money lost on it, plus the cost of living here which i will save if i am not here, i have weighed the options and decided that i want to go.
so there.
it is fun to be on my own and be able to change my mind like that, and it affects no one but myself.
today i saw a man ridign a horse through the gnarly traffic. the horse was spooked, cause its crazy , honking and people speeding within inches of one another. today i discovered that the horn is used for many things... it is used to say a friendly "hey, i'm right here, just so you know"... or "hurry the hell up, what is taking so long" or my favourit today i noticed "i'm coming through at top friggin speed so you better get out of the way cause i'm not slowing down for nothing". i saw a school bus do that today actually, and a motorbike, but the school bus made me laugh. its a different kind of honking too, different honks mean different things, just like dog barks. the get the hell out of my way one is just the most incessant, urgent series of non-stop honks that you can't mistake for anything else.
The room key, when i go in your room, fits in a slot inside the door that activates the power to the room. isn't that interesting? so when you leave, you have to take the key and therefore must shut the power off. what a great idea.
the technology, i must say, is totally out of sinc with how some other things here are so primitive. i actually saw yesterday, in my meanderings, the biggest big screen flat screen t.v. box, on its way in or out of a house that looked not much bigger than the t.v. itself in a neighbourhood that clearly lacked interior plumbing. how is that possible? just another one of the oxymoron you see here everyday.
i have a feeling that i will spend many months adjusting to life here, and being uncomfortable with it at every step of the way, only to find myself heartbroken to leave. there is something about it, there is magic amongst the filth. there is life and warmth.
even the traffic reminds me of quantum physics. how one participant of the traffic knows what another part on the other side is doing at any given time which makes you think it is not seperate entities but one cohesive entity. sort of exactly like a flock of birds.
i could never drive here. there are no lanes, no traffic lights, it seems like a gian game of pole position and there are rules, obviously, that i don't think i could ever pick up.
I am learning that if i want people to understand my english i have to speak with more of the indian lilt in my voice. which makes me laugh because all my friends at kamloops dodge teased me so much about practicing my indian accent, and funnily enough, that is exactly what one needs to do. for example, they don't usually understand the past tense, instead of saying "i said, i thought, i walked" you have to say " i was saying, i was thinking, i was walking" for them to understand. funny huh. and i have also learned to seek out someone more highly educated to speak english, because just joe blow on teh street usually does not, but say a pharmacist, a doctor, or even a .... well, there's no way to really tell, really. cause today my rickshaw driver (some of whom are very poor and uneducated) spoke very good english and he is a student of political science at the university. so there no telling.
Where i bought my plane ticket... boy that place was a zoo. 6 people working behind a counter only about 8 feet long. talking on phones and to customers in front of them.... everyone was yelling to be heard above everyone else, so that the sound was escalating into a 6 ring circus, replete with cellular ring tones going off with all kinds of crazy music.... 6 ring circus.
but i got my ticket and it was relatively cheap.
i fly out saturday.
ok, i better sign off now,
time is high.
lotsa love to all
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
delirius rambling.... is it the heat, the jetlag or malaria?
I really don't know where to begin or what to begin to say about it here. For those of you who've been here... you know what i mean. Not to sound exclusionary but.... it really is beyond anything you can imagine until you come. It truly is a juxtaposition of opposites. Just in the... 3 days i've been here, i've noticed that the technology can be impressive for a country that has such issues with poverty and sanitation. flatscreen plasma t.v. in my 50$ hotel room (a splurge) when the sheets hadn't been changed when they cleaned the room the table not wiped, etc. i had to ask them to come in an change the sheets for me in front of my eyes.
The women are beautiful. South Indians wear quite traditional garb, especially the women, they are in saris, always, and they float down the dirty streets, sometimes barefoot. many go barefoot as shoes just seem unnecessary. i don't blame them in this heat and humidity.
I have seen the nicest neighbourhood right next to the poorest. I took a wrong turn and got lost down these alleyway type streets where people are living ... well, they are not really living. it is hard on the eyes, and i felt like such an intruder, like i was walking right through their livingroom. Already i am grateful for so many things. that is a gift a trip like this brings you. I am grateful that i have not been hassled at all. i am ignored. no one cares. i have gone 2 whole days without seeing a non-indian person. I didn't expect it to be this way. and for all those times i complained when i was travelling, that there were too many foreignors. Now there are none. After the luxurious first night stay at the regent, i moved into the place i was thinking of staying for the month i'm in school. It looked fine enough, clean, very basic, very very basic, no a/c. just a net for mosquitoes. no fridge. there were two other rooms booked by students of my course who hadn't arrived yet. although there was a kitchen, the fridges were in their rooms, so i could share but they'd have to be home. Ya, so at first, i thought i could make a go of it. i fantasized and romanticized how austere it was, how i wouldn't be sleeping on a high and cozy bed (mom, you'll appreciate this a la Goenkaji). the bed was in fact, comfortable, just a foam on a wooden slat, firm, and more comforable than most beds i sleep on at home. i figured it would be a good exercise for me in going without creature comforts. WELL, that idea went out the window at about...2 in the morning. The problem is.. i have jetlag pretty bad right now. Since the time difference is exactly 12 hours from Vancouver, it's the worst i've ever had, worse than tokyo, worse than paris. plus the heat and humidity. now i'm not a big a/c fan, but when you're so badly jetlagged and there's mosquitoes, and cats mating and puppies crying.... well, its too much. i didn't sleep in the night, i just layed there trying to think cool thoughts. i'd get up, i'd read, i'd write, i'd have a shower, i'd eat some papaya, but basically, it was tough. so then i started daydreaming about going home.
And i knew this would happen, it always does on trips like this. i entertain serious thoughts about turning back, of chickening out, and it always comes right before a really big breakthrough, like, i'm feeling all discouraged and disheartened and like everything is too hard, i just want to go home and then something makes me stay and i end up having an amazing trip that would have never happened if i had turned back. but knowing this, doesn't help keep me from day dreaming about it in my sleepless night. and i wonder to myself if my delirium is caused by the jetlag (which makes you feel insane), the heat, or the too much sun i got during the day walking around trying not to get ran over in the street by cars, people, rickshaws, buses and bikes. i had to learn how to cross the street all over again or.
i have a headache now, i think it is caused by all the shuffling around my auto rickshaw i did today. resorted to holding my hat over my mouth as a mask. it helped tremendously. the autorickshaws sound like lawnmowers, except when they sound like snowmobiles.
i am getting used to walking down the street now, already. it doesn't take long.
i had forgotton how you have to get used to a place and at first, it feels really really weird, then you just, i don't know, get used to it. it becomes normal to you, all the chaos and filth and noise and people and animals. i know it will be shocking to go home now. india takes longer to get used to than any other place i've been though. i underestimated it. so i am having to be gentle with myself. i gave up on my dream of staying in the cheap but clean austere place. i know i will not survive the no a/c, the mosquitos and the no fridge. the neighbourhood too, was strange. i must have walked around for four hours and could not find a place that sold fruit or food, let alone a supermarket. do they have supermarkets in india? i haven't seen one yet. i finally settled on the two guys with papayas and some other green fruit that smelled like passionfruit on their carts. fruit is cheap and good. lived on it for a whole day and a half. i didn't want to take any chances on food this early in the game, from uncertain sources. i'm trying to be super super careful. until i get my feet under me. i have enough to contend with right now, getting oriented and getting un-jetlegged, the last thing i need is to have a bad belly too. so being super careful.
ok, that is all i can type for now. i'm going to try to download some videos onto here. or at the very least, some photos. i am a terrible tourist, i don't take my camera out and i don't take pictures out. it is so conspicuous and i discovered that i really like to blend in (as if that's happening anyway). i assuage my concerns about this by telling myself that i will take pictures when i am in the beautiful countryside. aside from the beautiful women in saris in the street, why would i take pictures of these people's misery? everyone here works very hard, everyone is busy. so that is a good thing. i have some big decisions to make regarding what i need to do next.
The women are beautiful. South Indians wear quite traditional garb, especially the women, they are in saris, always, and they float down the dirty streets, sometimes barefoot. many go barefoot as shoes just seem unnecessary. i don't blame them in this heat and humidity.
I have seen the nicest neighbourhood right next to the poorest. I took a wrong turn and got lost down these alleyway type streets where people are living ... well, they are not really living. it is hard on the eyes, and i felt like such an intruder, like i was walking right through their livingroom. Already i am grateful for so many things. that is a gift a trip like this brings you. I am grateful that i have not been hassled at all. i am ignored. no one cares. i have gone 2 whole days without seeing a non-indian person. I didn't expect it to be this way. and for all those times i complained when i was travelling, that there were too many foreignors. Now there are none. After the luxurious first night stay at the regent, i moved into the place i was thinking of staying for the month i'm in school. It looked fine enough, clean, very basic, very very basic, no a/c. just a net for mosquitoes. no fridge. there were two other rooms booked by students of my course who hadn't arrived yet. although there was a kitchen, the fridges were in their rooms, so i could share but they'd have to be home. Ya, so at first, i thought i could make a go of it. i fantasized and romanticized how austere it was, how i wouldn't be sleeping on a high and cozy bed (mom, you'll appreciate this a la Goenkaji). the bed was in fact, comfortable, just a foam on a wooden slat, firm, and more comforable than most beds i sleep on at home. i figured it would be a good exercise for me in going without creature comforts. WELL, that idea went out the window at about...2 in the morning. The problem is.. i have jetlag pretty bad right now. Since the time difference is exactly 12 hours from Vancouver, it's the worst i've ever had, worse than tokyo, worse than paris. plus the heat and humidity. now i'm not a big a/c fan, but when you're so badly jetlagged and there's mosquitoes, and cats mating and puppies crying.... well, its too much. i didn't sleep in the night, i just layed there trying to think cool thoughts. i'd get up, i'd read, i'd write, i'd have a shower, i'd eat some papaya, but basically, it was tough. so then i started daydreaming about going home.
And i knew this would happen, it always does on trips like this. i entertain serious thoughts about turning back, of chickening out, and it always comes right before a really big breakthrough, like, i'm feeling all discouraged and disheartened and like everything is too hard, i just want to go home and then something makes me stay and i end up having an amazing trip that would have never happened if i had turned back. but knowing this, doesn't help keep me from day dreaming about it in my sleepless night. and i wonder to myself if my delirium is caused by the jetlag (which makes you feel insane), the heat, or the too much sun i got during the day walking around trying not to get ran over in the street by cars, people, rickshaws, buses and bikes. i had to learn how to cross the street all over again or.
i have a headache now, i think it is caused by all the shuffling around my auto rickshaw i did today. resorted to holding my hat over my mouth as a mask. it helped tremendously. the autorickshaws sound like lawnmowers, except when they sound like snowmobiles.
i am getting used to walking down the street now, already. it doesn't take long.
i had forgotton how you have to get used to a place and at first, it feels really really weird, then you just, i don't know, get used to it. it becomes normal to you, all the chaos and filth and noise and people and animals. i know it will be shocking to go home now. india takes longer to get used to than any other place i've been though. i underestimated it. so i am having to be gentle with myself. i gave up on my dream of staying in the cheap but clean austere place. i know i will not survive the no a/c, the mosquitos and the no fridge. the neighbourhood too, was strange. i must have walked around for four hours and could not find a place that sold fruit or food, let alone a supermarket. do they have supermarkets in india? i haven't seen one yet. i finally settled on the two guys with papayas and some other green fruit that smelled like passionfruit on their carts. fruit is cheap and good. lived on it for a whole day and a half. i didn't want to take any chances on food this early in the game, from uncertain sources. i'm trying to be super super careful. until i get my feet under me. i have enough to contend with right now, getting oriented and getting un-jetlegged, the last thing i need is to have a bad belly too. so being super careful.
ok, that is all i can type for now. i'm going to try to download some videos onto here. or at the very least, some photos. i am a terrible tourist, i don't take my camera out and i don't take pictures out. it is so conspicuous and i discovered that i really like to blend in (as if that's happening anyway). i assuage my concerns about this by telling myself that i will take pictures when i am in the beautiful countryside. aside from the beautiful women in saris in the street, why would i take pictures of these people's misery? everyone here works very hard, everyone is busy. so that is a good thing. i have some big decisions to make regarding what i need to do next.
Monday, August 25, 2008
i made it and i have proof
hi hi
ok, i made it, i'm here,
it feels crazy. but i did it. i'm a bit stunned right now. the bellboy put me in my room, and when he closed the door, i just stood here in the middle of the room and laughed and laughed. what a coup.
it was too easy, the whole flight, Hong Kong, the airport here and the pick up by hotel car at the airport here... it was so smooth. too easy. so i am grateful. i am in a fairly nice room by indian standards, for my first night (if you can call it a night, its like... half a night, since i've arrived at 2am, but anyhow)....to cushion the shock and provide some comfort. it is funny, i have a computer in my room and a flat screen t.v. hot water and a/c, but it still smells like a musty humid hotel room in a tropical country. i know it will be impossible to cushion myself with creature comforts in this country and my cushioning and comfort is going to have to come from within, not from outside of myself, which, ironically, is part of the spiritual purpose of this trip.
i am going to try to post some pictures right now... while i have the technology right here at my fingertips, as i don't know how often i will get to send pictures.
peace.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Dear Sir...
Today I received email confirmation of my reservation to stay at the Chandra Park Hotel, Chennai, and it was addressed "Dear Sir". I guess Angie is a man's name in India. Or perhaps Anjeet, as Harvey is sometimes prone to calling me. I know Agni means fire in Sanskrit. Anyhow, language and gender issues aside... it has been awhile since I have written. Undoubtedly my days are crammed with "things to do" and the lists that incited them. I have played a trick with myself for the past 5 months whereby I tell myself that the time I have left until departure is slightly less than I actually have. For example: when it was 3 months and 29 days until my departure, I told myself: "It is 3 months! 3 months until departure!!" i told myself. Now it is "one week! one week until I leave for Vancouver!!" This seems to light a fire under me more than the actual 10 days that it really is, but I want to be ready. I want to get everything done up so I can transition slowly and smoothly; enjoying all the little steps along the way, and taking time near the end to just sit, rather than having this huge crunch and procrastination-induced whirlwind of tasks to perform in miracle time, 3 days before I leave. I've been there before. It isn't pretty.
But I just wanted to check in. I have my hotels and guest houses in Chennai booked and confirmed. My Indian visa has arrived, I pick it up at the post today. Hurray!!
The packing of my worldy possessions is going well. I am especially impressed with the two full garbage bags of clothes I have managed to pry out of my tiny little pack rat hand to donate to the Sally Ann. Downsizing. And its actually quite enjoyable. I better get back to work. See you in the mother land and much love to all.
But I just wanted to check in. I have my hotels and guest houses in Chennai booked and confirmed. My Indian visa has arrived, I pick it up at the post today. Hurray!!
The packing of my worldy possessions is going well. I am especially impressed with the two full garbage bags of clothes I have managed to pry out of my tiny little pack rat hand to donate to the Sally Ann. Downsizing. And its actually quite enjoyable. I better get back to work. See you in the mother land and much love to all.
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