naked foreigners, police and approving holy men

hello there, armchair travellers,
greetings from the motherland. new strategy on the pictures ok. i will now be posting all the new pictures, for the time being, at the very bottom of the blog. I have discovered that in this way.... they appear larger and not like thimble size, the way they have been along the right hand column. so, we'll try this for a while and see if it works. i woud eventually like to find a way to archive the older photos so that the website doesn't have to open up all the photos everytime you go there, taking forever, but baby steps, baby steps.
tech, tech, tech.
things bode well here. so much "progress" and work is going on in my mind and my heart, and ironically, it is all so that i can turn my mind off and just be in the moment. aah, so free.
having just enough challenges to keep me on my toes and just enough rewards to keep me delighted for a good portion of the day.
i am studying ayurveda and massage with a woman ayurvedic doctor here. i am learning alot. and i am learning so many things from just random people i meet in the street and stuff. i love this about it here. someone is always inviting you for tea or sharing their life with you in some small but significant way and my heart is touched on dozens of occasions every day. the place is pure magic for anyone who wants to see it.
i am still so glad i have come to rishikesh. it is a city but i am in the part of town that borders on the jungle hills, so it is almost tranquil at times, and it is easy to access nature, which is important. The river continues to be a huge source of energy for me. I thought at first I was imagining it. But it is unmistakeable. If i am not around her for a few days and then i go back to her side, and especially if i wash any part of my body in her waters and listen to her voice, something strange happens inside of me. something very pleasing and good. So i understand the love the Indian people have for their sacred river. I am just ever so grateful that i am so near to her source, so that the waters are still clean and unpolluted .
Youtube is giving me some grief again and i hope to have my latest videos up and running soon.
Today I found a spot by the river, just a short walk upstream where the beach is white sand, untouched, pristine, with big boulders here and there to lounge on, relax on, dry your laundry on. Miraculously there is no trash at all on the beach, and for a moment, with nary a shred of plastic in sight, you can imagine that you are not in india. or that you are in india before the evil invention that is plastic was discovered. The spot i found is idyllic. I found the hut i would like to live in, beside the river, but it is already inhabited by an old holy man, a sunnyasi, someone who has given up worldly possessions and lives very, very simply so that he can dedicate his time to spiritual life and pursuits rather than the constant acquisition and maintenance of material possessions. I don't think the hut has a door. It is made out of concrete or clay and looks quite sturdy, like it would stand up to a few monsoons, but you would have to sit quite away from the doors and windows, which are open except for a cloth, during a rain to ensure dryness. I doubt power or plumbing are part of the deal, and i know it sounds crazy... but it looks perfect for me.
At the water's edge, i removed my shoes and socks to feel that satiny sand under my feet. I hiked up my pants and waded in to my knees. so cool and refreshing. i offered water to the east, to the sun, and then poured two handfuls of water over my head and splashed my face before sitting down on a nice rock to meditate for a spell. So easy it is to sit in calm stillness, stillness of the body and stillness of the mind, listening to the sound of the river. The holy man sat back, looking over me from above at his hut so i waved and he waved back. He watched the foreigner perform the rituals of his people and sit down on a rock, like a rock, unmoving. He watched it all. Two other foreigners came down to the river, a young couple. Stripped to their shorts and tank tops and underwear. In they went, into the sacred river, where they stood up to their waists and embraced and kissed. This is not the rituals the Indians perform in their sacred river. I smiled, in appreciation, understanding their culture and understanding the thrill to stand with your lover in the sacred river, embracing. I looked away and gave them their privacy. Later, as i stood to leave, i noticed 3 police were talking to them. I took my shoes and socks closer to inconspicuously dust off the sand, dry my feet and put them away back in my shoes. I overheard the police questioning the kids about "smoking", accusing them of smoking and reprimanding them for their particular form of "bathing" in the Ganges. I listened, amused, as the foreigners argued with the men in uniform about what they were or were not doing there. Clearly the federales were not amused with their frisky frolicking in the river, half naked. Society is very conservative here. Nakedness, even partial nakedness, especially of women, is simply not done. no bare shoulders, no short skirts. anything less than full cover up is considered promiscuous and riske. There is a sign that says "no bikinis" at the beach, painted on a rock. Indian ladies bathe with clothes on. And that goes double for public displays of affection. I figure, why buck the customs? Why go against their culture and norms when you are guests in their country? if it was your country, parade around in your skivvies if you like (and we do), but why do it here? why?
Amused by the exchange, i carried on up the path. The path passes by the hut i want to live in and i look up into the gentle face of its inhabitant. I smile deeply and bow "namaste" to him, the common greeting here. he is responding to me with a huge beautiful smile and one thumb up and one hand up and he is excited. he is saying "good job" without speaking. With actions and sounds only he is expressing to me his great approval and acknowledgement as he was watching me from above. i put my hand to my heart and bow my head to accept his recognition. This warm and heartfelt exchange on both our parts sends me off with spirits soaring and my heart all melty and gooey. it is moments like this that make india pure magic.

kittens, puppies and hot showers

its funny how the mind seeks for diversions, distractions, ENTERTAINMENT. the mind cannot just sit with itself, even when there is a big beautiful green mountain to look at. I am trying to practice stillness. I am doing pretty good, i make it to about 4pm and then when i have napped and read and written and meditated, twice, and eaten, twice and scrubbed my laundry on the bathroom floor.... my mind wants ... entertainment. it is very very interesting how hard it is to just... be. To just contemplate and be still. Always always wanting, seeking, craving activity, stimulus, entertainment, something to keep it from itself. so very interesting.
I am waiting for a few more days until the teachers arrive here at the ashram from canada so i can discuss with them the possibility of my taking the teacher training in January. My mind is so focussed. Its very cool.
also i am interviewing various ayurvedic doctors to see who i want to work with over the next month.
I began brushing my teeth with tap water last week.... nothing has happened to me.
i found an internet place close to me that accepts my camera downloads, so now i should have some fresh photos coming soon.
The weather is cooling, it has been raining for a few days. Such a relief for me because i was melting in the heat before.
Have been focusing my practice on meditating as I am devising a new approach that takes into consideration that i cannot pursue a hard core yoga program due to my back flaring issue. It is all a great teaching and a great irony that i have come here and find myself so inhibited in my physical practice of yoga postures. It is a personal journey of healing that is teaching me much. I realize that always, in life, one should do what they CAN do, and not focus on what you can't do. For example, I am relaxing off yoga for the moment, to give the back time, but i CAN meditate, and so... therefore... i will meditate. and i can study, so i will study, there is a whole library of excellent books, fiction and non-fiction, in the ashram library. All this is part of my education too. and it teaches me patience, patience, patience and acceptance of what is.
The other day when it was raining so much, I went out, and the streets just turn to muck, sometimes its deep muck. very exciting to walk in such muck. i try not to think about what, besides just dirt, is comprising the muck.
I just found out today that our cow is going to have a baby! She already has one teenager and now i find out she is 3 months pregnant with baby number two. This is our cow that we get all our milk and yogurt from, and who we feed all our fruit peels and leftovers to. She's a sweety.
well... i guess i better head back to my balcony and my green mountain. First i think i'll slip down to the german bakery for a slice of brown bread with honey. a rare treat. aaaah, the simple things in life. Yesterday i had an ayurvedic consultation and an oil treatment on my back. Always an interesting experience. It was relaxing... and very hot, the oil, at times. Everything is different here eh. you know, the way things are done, at home, the level of cleanliness and professionalism one comes to expect in canada... that all goes out the window here, and that's just the way it is. there's no point in even being disgusted or miffed about it at all, cause the joke is just on you then. Whether its kittens and puppies running loose in the restaurant and sleeping on your feet while you eat, or its the clearly not freshly changed oil soaked cloth that you are invited to get up on for your relaxing oil treatment. its ok, you just enjoy it anyhow, and then go home and have a nice hot shower afterwards. i'm still healthy.

news from the hills of rishikesh

Hi ho there,
well, i've been tucked away so cozily in my ashram of choice i scarcely can find reason to leave there sometimes. It was raining so hard today, true monsoon. I feel guilty i haven't been posting any new pictures. This cafe does not allow downloading and uploading and it is a 2km walk to the one that does, so you'll forgive me if i am not so current with that. If its any consolation, there are no real photos to display anyway, the view is mostly the same. just imagine great big green jungly hills out my front window and that's pretty much what i see all day. I just finished my level one Reiki healing training. So that was very interesting. Not much new is going on besides that. Really. The life of a yogi is not all that exciting. Just a lot of sitting and stretching and breathing. hahaha.
i have an appointment with an ayurvedic doctor tomorrow, a consultation, so that should be good. i am in the process of interviewing a few because i am considering doing panchakarma, which is a cleansing and detoxifying program supervised by an ayurvedic doctor and tailored specifically for your particular disposition and make up (dosha) which they decide after analysing your pulse and various other factors about you.
Other than that, not much else to report. The weather is cooling, which is a tremendous relief. I was beginning to think i was going to succumb to tropical malaise under the pressure of the humidity and heat.
lots of love

doing nicely

hi, sorry no new photos at the moment. no technology, at the moment... but i have many months still to take pictures, right?

i've been hermitting at a good little ashram i found in a quiet neighborhood on the hill. founded by an indian and canadian couple. its a little slice of heaven. so i have everything i need there, 3 good vegetarian meals a day and twice daily yoga classes if i like.... a room with a view and 24hr access to either of the two yoga halls whenever i want. .... all for a very good price.

a very good place to practice. and peaceful.

things have been settling down for me here, as i am getting accustomed to it all. i have lots of time to think, and read and reflect and write and do all the things i want to do, and all the things that you never have time for when life is filled with jobs and kids and bills and social get- togethers. Its funny, but i feel so cut out for this. it just makes sense to me, and it fits me like a glove. i just slide into this type of life, with the meditation and the yoga and the solitary quietude ... as if i was born into it. it almost makes me think i have been, once before. this is what i have been craving.

so i think i might be spending a little more time there, and a little less time out and about in the street, in the chaos of the street, in the markets, cafes and internet places, but i will be thinking about all of you at home, our beautiful canadian home, we are so fortunate to live there, as most of you already know and appreciate.

Love to everyone and peace

i took it.

ok people....you GOT to be proud of me. This photo above, below the title, of the woman in the purple sari.... I took that! yes, that's right. i didn't download it off the internet or anything. I am so proud. I'm learning.

a days' adventures

Goddess bless, technology is co-operating today. Fingers crossed for video downloads.
Well, today I woke up off my straw filled mattress (for real!), washed my face and tripped down to the yoga hall for morning meditation, light yoga and breathwork. Afterwards, I took 2 pairs of pants up to the tailors, whom I stumbled across yesterday, to get them hemmed. The cost: 30 rupees for both hemmings. In canadian funds that works out to about.... 75 cents!! it is amazing. some things are tremendously inexpensive, like this hemming the pants... and my consultation with the doctor in Madras. not everything is cheap, sometimes prices are very inflated for foreigners.
I stopped at the post office on my way down the hill to inquire about sending a box to canada. i was invited into right into the back office where they then told me that "parcel service is currently suspended (for whatever reason), check again much later". i still haven't figured out how long is "much later" in Indian time. I was still trying to understand how parcel service could be "suspended", as in...not available... as in...you cannot send a box. I just sent a letter and 3 postcards yesterday. But this is India, and i am learning to enjoy these little moments of puzzling communication.
I then met up with a friend i met up at the sivananda ashram and we walked up to the other part of town, about 2km, to visit a coffee shop there. A REAL coffee shop, with actual espresso. On the way, we stopped at a massage/yoga/ayurveda/therapy place and booked massages. (part of my research and personal healing quest). The coffee shop had actual pastries and cappucino on the menu. only cappucino, no lattes, no pure espressos or any other espresso drink, but i ordered a cappucino and it was good. The word "cappucino" felt funny to speak, it has been so long. I ordered a chocolate croissant also, which was fantastic. You have to appreciate.... after eating for a week, on the floor, with your hands, food that has no garlic, no onions, no spice, no salt, your taste buds get pretty darn sensative. Things like chocolate croissants and cappucinos become the stuff of daydreams.
After this delightful indulgence we strolled around a bit and talked to a couple places about massage and massage courses and were recommended a good reiki teacher who just happened to be up at the very same coffee shop we had just been to... So back up the hill we went to talk to Shanti, the German reiki master. We found her, a silver-haired wisened elder woman, sitting with an equally wise looking Indian man. They were very amicable and offered us some nice cold water to drink in the heat while we discussed business. She agreed to see me tomorrow at 3pm at her house and drew me a treasure map how to get there.
After thanking her for her graciousness (everyone tends to be so enshrouded in mysticism, grace and reverence here, it is the most intoxicating combination of qualities), we parted and walked on to meet with our massages.
My massage was one of the most disappointing. I was slathered in oil, tons of oil, and that is pretty much it. the cost was: $10cad, the going rate. I left before my friend so I didn't get a chance to ask how his was but...ya, very strange massage. It seems that she had no idea what she was doing and was very poorly trained and didn't really care anyways. so i won't be signing up for their training anytime soon.
I went straight home and showered and washed my clothes while i was at it. Ate some fruit and went for dinner.
Now i'm here.
I've been making lots of friends. People are nice here. It is easy to meet both travellers and Indians and everyone has time to chit chat or help you or exchange information. I am never alone, unless i want to be and people are so helpful.
i have had to make such an adjustment from my original plans. First because i couldn't handle the pollution and mosquitos and heat in chennai to take that course there. and now... my back has been flaring up again, so i am having to back off on the yoga for now... which is so ironic to me, because here i am in the yoga capital of the world, and i can't do yoga. i know instinctively that this is what my body needs to do to heal the fastest possible way, because i've been here before. And i am here to take my teacher training, so i need my body healthy and strong. so this is a minor setback i will be working around. all part of my education. funny too, that i want to focus on yoga "therapy" and here i am with my very own therapeutic scenario that i am being called upon to heal. hmm.
so, i am going to start with the massage courses, and i am very interested in reiki as well, a japanese healing modality. i can take certification in both of these here. And i seek out treatments or anything that can help my back heal as quickly as possible, and in this way i will embark on the same journey any person would who has a health issue and is looking for healing. so in this way i will be experiencing what my future students would be experiencing when they come to a yoga therapist for help with their health issue. verrrrry interesting.
to me, anyway,
maybe this is not so interesting to you, but i think because it is interesting to me... it is interesting to you,, in any case, you can skim over this if it is of no interest. haha.
so what i am going to do now is shop around town, talk to people, check out different courses and centres and get a couple sessions with different teachers to see how they are before i commit to their courses. in this way i should be able to choose wisely. and at the same time... give my back the time it needs.
i know what i did too... i mean... at sivananda ashram last week i pushed too hard doing sun salutations in class. i felt it coming on, and i didn't listen to my body. This is the danger of group classes, you get caught up in what everyone else is doing and you forget to listen to your own bodies' voice. very important. and a good learning for me.
and in october, a good teacher named osha is coming back into to town and she has alot of experience with therapeutic yoga, so i plan to visit her. and my yoga therapy certification starts november 11th just a short trip away from here.

first day back in rishikesh

ok, here we go.... First of all I would like to beseech anyone, anyone who can give me some tech advice as to how i might create a photo album on this silly blog, where i can put all the photos i download so i don't have to just run them down the right side of the page. i don't know how to do it.. but i was wishing you could click on "photo album" and go to all the pics, rather than have them all here on the front page, but maybe it works alright as it is... I don't know.

India is constantly questioning and testing my idea of the world and how i think it "should" work. I am back in Rishikesh. Civilization. I was at Sivananda Kutir ashram 7 hours drive up in the Himalayas where the air is clean, you can drink from the river without fear and there is no sound but the rush of the river, constant and unrelenting, that can be heard from wherever you are at the ashram. I loved it there and the people i met were very cool. It was just really wonderful to be so far up in the mountains. Just a few hours further up that road and you run into holy men meditating in the caves up there, where the Ganges literally flows from out of the earth. So i am where i wanted to be. The power there and here is palpable. I spent a lot of time just sitting on a big rock in the river. You can hear the river say "om". At first I thought I was hearing a human voice, someone somewhere, in the meditation hall or somewhere, chanting "om", and i listened, i listened hard to this "voice". After some time I realized, this sound is not a human voice, this is the sound of the river herself, the universe itself, resounding "om". It is continuous and unbroken, this sound that sounds like many human voices perpetually chanting the sound of the universe. It puts you in quite a state to hear it and it makes you feel quite reverent.

Back in the hustle and bustle of Rishikesh, I feel around to find my feet. I know that I am going to be a resident here from some weeks or perhaps months... so I have to stop thinking of myself as a tourist. There are many interesting things here, people, studies, sights, to keep me occupied for some time. I think I will probably start with a massage course and some ayurvedic treatments and studies. I feel there is some more work I need to do on my own health first, before I begin to learn how to heal others. It is interesting to me how this priority has worked its way into my consciousness. All this time since arriving in this country I have been purifying, healing and strengthening, in body and in spirit.

So along with the priority of healing myself and growing myself stronger... is the priority of settling into a lifestyle that is economical and sustainable. This involves finding a "home", a place to stay that is cheap and comfortable. Today I checked into Ved Niketan Ashram for 3 nights. It is popular with travellers and there are many many rooms set around a central "courtyard". i put courtyard in quotations because it involves a grassy areas with walkways crisscrossing it, one single cow tethered to a post and a work crew busily contructing a.... shrine? i'm going to guess. I believe the yoga hall also occupies the center of the area.

My room is exactly like what i imagine a jail cell to be... stark, more than basic, no frills and sparse in its furnishings. i have a bed and some shelves built right into the plaster of the wall. but it is totally fresh and clean smelling, and not in a toxic cleaning chemical sort of way but in a moutain meadow kind of way and the energy in it is quite good. The price is right... it costs exactly $2.40 canadian per night, and that includes yoga and meditation classes daily and the bathroom is shared. quite a deal. So. based on that, i can live on as little as 5 dollars or less per day while i decide what needs to happen next. i will stay there 3 nights and in that time i will scope the city to see if i find something better. I tell myself... this is the real India. If they can live with so little and if all these other travellers can... then so can I. i didn't come here for a vacation after all. and what better way to understand the people than to live like them. My health remains good and i've even had the opposite problem of "Delhi belly", somehow. I don't know how or why. I must be the only person who comes to India and has the opposite problem. anyhow. too much information.

I am relieved and happy that Rishikesh is so safe. Being a kind of pilgrimage center, it is very friendly and safe, even at night. I never feel any concern for my safety here. Very important.

This morning I had an interesting conversation with Ram, the person who works at the rooftop restaurant where i had breakfast, overlooking the water and in a nice westerly breeze. Banana pancakes, a banana lassi, and chai,( if you must know.) His English was quite good and he was happy to share his views and opinions about Indians and their ways and Westerners and their ways, and i was able to ask him questions and express my concerns about my slowness to adapt to such a different environment. His comments and observations were quite illuminating for me and gave me some insight as to how the people think and operate and i feel much more at home here as a result. It is like learning a whole other language when you are learning the ways of a people and a culture and how things operate. wow.

I am learning and I am coming to realize that the people here are very warm, accepting, and loving. Their greatest resource is eachother and they are used to helping one another and working together very closely.... at a range that would make most westeners cringe. It is just so different from Canada and i marvel everyday at how my long time dream could have been to come to a place like this, where the filth and the poverty, the noise and crush of activity, are suffocating at times. I have moments of panic over what i have done and what a big piece i have bitten off and now have to chew. but that is the whole reason why i have done this. to push myself, because i knew in coming here... there would be no turning back for me. and instinctively, i feel that this is the place i need to be to grow in the way i need to grow. it is like a tonic or a medicine somehow, and it doesn't always taste so good, you might make a face, but it is very good for you.

It is like sinking or swimming, i have no choice but to thrive. It will take me some time to adjust to everything here, and i know that once i do, it will be time to go home, and for all the struggling with myself to adjust, it will probably break my heart when i leave. and all the things i now find exasperating or disgusting will be completely overshadowed by the jewel of humanity that will uncover itself over time.

well, that is quite enough rambling i think. all this writing is so self indulgent. writing on the blog is hard. it is easier when i write personal emails to convey what needs to be said. writing here seems to overwhelm me. it is intimidating. but i'll get over myself. soon.

here's to laughter and friendship and strangers who smile.

love to all

I'm ON the ganges!!

Things have just been going tremendously well every since i decided to leave the south and come north. So smooth sailing. I am in rishikesh tonight. just arrived on the train and bus today. my room is right on the ganges, and it looks out over the river and i can HEAR the beautiful sacred ganga roaring past my window when i go to sleep tonight. I'm in heaven. I cannot describe my joy to be here. I've seen so many monkeys here, everywhere. and the sacred cows. i have not seen beef on the menu anywhere since i arrived in india. the cows here are the cleanest, cutest and most lovely cows you'd ever meet. i guess that's what comes from being sacred.
i bathed in the holy waters, well... i soaked my feet. It felt wonderful, as my sins washed away. I am surprised that there are places where you can go down to the river and you are the only one there. i was alone, all alone, which hasn't happened to me outside since... canada. if i am not in my room somewhere and i am out... i am surrounded by people.
the nice thing about rishikesh as there are areas of town that are no cars. it is a quiet slow pace. "shanti" as they say... peaceful.
the river ganga is clean here because we are so close to the source. There are still not alot of foreigners here. i expected more. i am delighted, actually, that rishikesh seems to remain unchanged by time.. not that i have been here before.. in THIS lifetime.
Rishikesh is full of spiritual seekers. Still mostly Indian, from other parts of india. people make pilgrimages here, to bathe in the river. to spread the ashes of their dead. things like that.
the town is full of ashrams.
i am in my element.
but still.... i seek more solitude.
Tomorrow at around 5am i will get on the 8 hour bus ride to Uttarkashi and Netala to go to Sivananda Kutir ashram.
i have received other confirmation from other ashrams too, that i may visit. it is so exciting.
today i found out that i can attend the 2 week yoga therapy course near here, that gives you a certificate. that is from november 11-30.
i will stay at sivananda kutir deep in the mountains from tomorrow until September 8th. i will not have email access during this time. yay!
i'm going to go post vids and pics now if i can... i think i have stumbled across a place with the technology here.
let's see....