sorry,
brief hiatus there as i relocated.
still finding my feet again in rishikesh.
mom flew home on the 27th. now its just me. miss her.
it is a beautiful time of year in rishikesh, because its winter and its very quiet. so you have the whole place to yourself, no crowds.
it was a relief to be back. but it also feels strange, somehow. can't explain it.
it is so peaceful here, by comparison to goa. which is nice.
i had a little flood in my room this morning. i emptied a big bucket of water on the floor in the bathroom (its the asian kind where the bathroom floor has a drain and the whole bathroom becomes a shower) but i forgot that the door doesn't seal and so the bucket that i poured ran out under the door and out into the rest of my room. haha.
so i had a little impromptu mopping up. floors are all nice and clean now.
so little to report.
it is cold. i am piled under blankets at night with no central heating of course.
sun doesn't come up over the hill here until 9am, just like last time.
but all is well. it is good to get back to good food and good water again, both of which were kind of lacking in goa.
looking forward to getting back into yoga class too, starting tomorrow.
the trip here was alright. we flew to delhi and spent the night and watched movies in our hotel room, then the next day i hopped on the train and mom headed to the airport. the train ride was only 4 hours but felt longer. really cramped in there. train was full.
alright well,
hope everyone is well and happy at home.
much love to all,
miss you
ang
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
second to last day here
oooo,
almost a whole week since my last entry. my apologies. just nothing exciting to tell about. days are pretty much the same, day in, day out. We finished our 12 day course yesterday and had a dinner and open mic night last night. which was a lot of fun. lemon meringue pie folks! wow, what a treat. and what a talented bunch of people. we had some amazing performances, people singing, playing guitars and other cool instruments, and a good time had by all. lots of fun.
today was our first free day and it felt so odd to have no structure to the day. just to come and go when you pleased. i ended up taking a big old nap in the afternoon. it was very hot out so i just turned the fan on and had a little sleep. then mom and i had a beautiful sunset dinner on the beach. the second to last night that we can do that. it was so beautiful, with the stars and the surf. and so we just sat and reflected back on this crazy journey. she has been gone for almost 3 months. that is a long trip you know. so she is more than ready to return home, but so glad she made the trip too. i am going to miss her company. it has been a real learning experience for both of us, and i feel so blessed that i have a mother that is so... daring and adventurous in her 59 years!
what a woman!
so my hats off to her.
nothing else really to report.
one more day here, tomorrow, and then the 25th we fly to delhi and stay a night there, then i will head back to rishikesh by train, and she will head to the airport to catch her flight to beijing and home.
so tomorrow i will pick up my laundry, go for a swim, maybe get a pedicure (i know, i know, since when do i get pedicures) and just enjoy the last day on the beach.
Most of you know of my great love of the ocean. so i am acutely aware that tomorrow may be the last time in a long while that i get to enjoy a tropical sea. it may be years before i am back beside a tropical ocean. we shall see. but i will soak her up, because i will miss the ocean when i leave. something about it so .... expansive and vast. just being near it makes me feel at ease, like i can breathe a little deeper with the sea air in my lungs.
hmmm.
alright well,
i hope the snow is treating you all well. i love snow.
please go make a snow angel for me in the next fresh fall. we are so blessed to live in such a beautiful place as canada.
all my love and kisses,
ang
almost a whole week since my last entry. my apologies. just nothing exciting to tell about. days are pretty much the same, day in, day out. We finished our 12 day course yesterday and had a dinner and open mic night last night. which was a lot of fun. lemon meringue pie folks! wow, what a treat. and what a talented bunch of people. we had some amazing performances, people singing, playing guitars and other cool instruments, and a good time had by all. lots of fun.
today was our first free day and it felt so odd to have no structure to the day. just to come and go when you pleased. i ended up taking a big old nap in the afternoon. it was very hot out so i just turned the fan on and had a little sleep. then mom and i had a beautiful sunset dinner on the beach. the second to last night that we can do that. it was so beautiful, with the stars and the surf. and so we just sat and reflected back on this crazy journey. she has been gone for almost 3 months. that is a long trip you know. so she is more than ready to return home, but so glad she made the trip too. i am going to miss her company. it has been a real learning experience for both of us, and i feel so blessed that i have a mother that is so... daring and adventurous in her 59 years!
what a woman!
so my hats off to her.
nothing else really to report.
one more day here, tomorrow, and then the 25th we fly to delhi and stay a night there, then i will head back to rishikesh by train, and she will head to the airport to catch her flight to beijing and home.
so tomorrow i will pick up my laundry, go for a swim, maybe get a pedicure (i know, i know, since when do i get pedicures) and just enjoy the last day on the beach.
Most of you know of my great love of the ocean. so i am acutely aware that tomorrow may be the last time in a long while that i get to enjoy a tropical sea. it may be years before i am back beside a tropical ocean. we shall see. but i will soak her up, because i will miss the ocean when i leave. something about it so .... expansive and vast. just being near it makes me feel at ease, like i can breathe a little deeper with the sea air in my lungs.
hmmm.
alright well,
i hope the snow is treating you all well. i love snow.
please go make a snow angel for me in the next fresh fall. we are so blessed to live in such a beautiful place as canada.
all my love and kisses,
ang
Monday, January 17, 2011
moving day
hi all,
just a little update.
we finally moved house.
the beach hut was my dream and all about location, location, location, view.
But it was so.... "rustic".
the picture of the outside of the hut makes it look fancy compared to the inside. haha.
so we finally moved.
away from the beach, away from the thumping bass at night (there were 3 or 4 nights in there that were quiet) and into the town.
We have a lovely 2 bedroom, with kitchen and hot shower for the same price as the beach hut on the beach. but no view, and no sound of the ocean waves.
Its warmer though at night, which is good, and there is no morning dew from the sea, so its not damp in the morning.
its a pretty great place, centrally located.
the only drawback is that it shares a roof with a small family next door who are quite noisy in the evening and again at 7am. i think we'll get used to that.
hot water is hard to find anywhere, and now that we have it... i kinda like that.
luxury.
you don't need hot water if you shower in the middle of the heat of the day here.
but if you want to shower in the morning, or the evening, it is pretty nibbly for a canadian girl like me. You'd think that coming from a cold climate that i would have a thicker skin, but the indians have way higher tolerance for extreme temperatures than i will ever have. i know my family in rishikesh has cold water bucket baths all through the winter. although i think this is temporary while they are renting and waiting for their new house to be built. that is just amazing to me, that you can strip down and stand it, the cold water in cold weather, long enough to get clean!!
i am not that tough.
haha
so i have a feeling we will stay where we are at.
no place is perfect.
every place will have some downside... so its just a matter of enjoying it anyway.
we are booking our flights back to delhi on the 25th.
we have abandoned the idea of taking the 38hour train ride from goa to delhi in favour of a more sane approach: the same way we came here, by 2 hour flight.
it just makes sense people.
both mom and i are into this idea. The thought of 38hrs on the train, after how homesick and just plain sick she has been, isn't so appealing. she's ever the trooper though. we have one week left here and then we go.
hmmm,
what other news...
thats about it for now.
missing everyone.
hope you are enjoying a lovely winter.
i miss the snow.
peace and hugs and kisses
ang
just a little update.
we finally moved house.
the beach hut was my dream and all about location, location, location, view.
But it was so.... "rustic".
the picture of the outside of the hut makes it look fancy compared to the inside. haha.
so we finally moved.
away from the beach, away from the thumping bass at night (there were 3 or 4 nights in there that were quiet) and into the town.
We have a lovely 2 bedroom, with kitchen and hot shower for the same price as the beach hut on the beach. but no view, and no sound of the ocean waves.
Its warmer though at night, which is good, and there is no morning dew from the sea, so its not damp in the morning.
its a pretty great place, centrally located.
the only drawback is that it shares a roof with a small family next door who are quite noisy in the evening and again at 7am. i think we'll get used to that.
hot water is hard to find anywhere, and now that we have it... i kinda like that.
luxury.
you don't need hot water if you shower in the middle of the heat of the day here.
but if you want to shower in the morning, or the evening, it is pretty nibbly for a canadian girl like me. You'd think that coming from a cold climate that i would have a thicker skin, but the indians have way higher tolerance for extreme temperatures than i will ever have. i know my family in rishikesh has cold water bucket baths all through the winter. although i think this is temporary while they are renting and waiting for their new house to be built. that is just amazing to me, that you can strip down and stand it, the cold water in cold weather, long enough to get clean!!
i am not that tough.
haha
so i have a feeling we will stay where we are at.
no place is perfect.
every place will have some downside... so its just a matter of enjoying it anyway.
we are booking our flights back to delhi on the 25th.
we have abandoned the idea of taking the 38hour train ride from goa to delhi in favour of a more sane approach: the same way we came here, by 2 hour flight.
it just makes sense people.
both mom and i are into this idea. The thought of 38hrs on the train, after how homesick and just plain sick she has been, isn't so appealing. she's ever the trooper though. we have one week left here and then we go.
hmmm,
what other news...
thats about it for now.
missing everyone.
hope you are enjoying a lovely winter.
i miss the snow.
peace and hugs and kisses
ang
Friday, January 14, 2011
I have a dog
I have a dog.
I have named him Suno (pronounced "soono"). "Suno" is the command for "listen" in Hindi. I have named him so, because he is such a good listener, and also because others listen to him. He is the beach police. The friendly cop on the block. He sees all and hears all. He is a delightful chestnut brown with a white neck. Skinny as a pole but in good shape.
I wasn't sure he was a "he" in the beginning as he lacked the required testicles to call him such. Yet the other "equipment" was intact, so I was a bit confused at first. Because in India, dogs are not neutered or spade, they are allowed to run free and wild and no one owns them or is responsible for their well being.
So his condition confused me at first and so consequently I was calling him "her" for the first few days of our acquaintance.
There is no mistake. He chose me. Hanging around my yoga "space" in the morning, napping on the corner of my blanket. Soon he found out where I lived and started visiting me in the morning, inviting me out for my morning yoga time. Just like a domestic dog in Canada summons its owner for her morning walk.
Suno was instantly charming and had something special about him from the get go. He had this all-pervading calm and sweet demeanour, unparalleled on the beaches of Arambol (canine or homeo sapien). All the other dogs are fighting and rough and territorial. Scarred up and beaten up and living a hard life on the streets. Somehow, Suno, maintains some semblance of dignity and grace, although as his ribs can attest, living conditions are not easy. He makes it look like easy.
I was instantly won over the first time he approached me, so calmly, confidently and just sat, nearby, without being pushy, without forcing his acquaintance on me. How could i not be won over. Yes, his charm was immediate. With those soft brown eyes and knowing smile, he just stayed nearby until i couldn't resist a pat. Starting first at his head, i patted tentatively. Soon i moved down to his neck and throat and discovered his soft and surprisingly clean fur. How he manages to look so good under the circumstances, is beyond me. Actually, scratch that... I think I have it figured out.
Somehow, because he is neutered, obviously his demeanour and behavour as a male dog is unnaturally altered. So he is unlike any other dog on the beach. He is not like the female dogs, and he is not like the male dogs. He is a eunich, like he can move between both worlds.
On the beach everyday it is dog politics. The constant organizing and working out of who is friends with whom, whose is allied with whom and whose territory belongs to whom. In a world of constant fighting and vying for territory, Suno is taking a pacificist approach. I have seen him diffuse many tense situations between several dogs simultaneously.
His technique is unique. He somehow manages to assert his dominance, without violence, and then coerces the other dogs into a playful romp, thus allying them as friends, and distracting them all from their violent tendencies. Before you know it, Suno has taken an aggressive and potentially dangerous situation into a situation where all the dogs just kind of lay down and take a nap not a short distance away from their previous enemy of five minutes ago. And then Suno just sits there with a warm knowing glow in his eye, observing the whole scene and approving of his peacemaking work. It is uncanny.
i am impressed.
So I have a dog. or he has me, i'm not sure which one.
I have named him Suno (pronounced "soono"). "Suno" is the command for "listen" in Hindi. I have named him so, because he is such a good listener, and also because others listen to him. He is the beach police. The friendly cop on the block. He sees all and hears all. He is a delightful chestnut brown with a white neck. Skinny as a pole but in good shape.
I wasn't sure he was a "he" in the beginning as he lacked the required testicles to call him such. Yet the other "equipment" was intact, so I was a bit confused at first. Because in India, dogs are not neutered or spade, they are allowed to run free and wild and no one owns them or is responsible for their well being.
So his condition confused me at first and so consequently I was calling him "her" for the first few days of our acquaintance.
There is no mistake. He chose me. Hanging around my yoga "space" in the morning, napping on the corner of my blanket. Soon he found out where I lived and started visiting me in the morning, inviting me out for my morning yoga time. Just like a domestic dog in Canada summons its owner for her morning walk.
Suno was instantly charming and had something special about him from the get go. He had this all-pervading calm and sweet demeanour, unparalleled on the beaches of Arambol (canine or homeo sapien). All the other dogs are fighting and rough and territorial. Scarred up and beaten up and living a hard life on the streets. Somehow, Suno, maintains some semblance of dignity and grace, although as his ribs can attest, living conditions are not easy. He makes it look like easy.
I was instantly won over the first time he approached me, so calmly, confidently and just sat, nearby, without being pushy, without forcing his acquaintance on me. How could i not be won over. Yes, his charm was immediate. With those soft brown eyes and knowing smile, he just stayed nearby until i couldn't resist a pat. Starting first at his head, i patted tentatively. Soon i moved down to his neck and throat and discovered his soft and surprisingly clean fur. How he manages to look so good under the circumstances, is beyond me. Actually, scratch that... I think I have it figured out.
Somehow, because he is neutered, obviously his demeanour and behavour as a male dog is unnaturally altered. So he is unlike any other dog on the beach. He is not like the female dogs, and he is not like the male dogs. He is a eunich, like he can move between both worlds.
On the beach everyday it is dog politics. The constant organizing and working out of who is friends with whom, whose is allied with whom and whose territory belongs to whom. In a world of constant fighting and vying for territory, Suno is taking a pacificist approach. I have seen him diffuse many tense situations between several dogs simultaneously.
His technique is unique. He somehow manages to assert his dominance, without violence, and then coerces the other dogs into a playful romp, thus allying them as friends, and distracting them all from their violent tendencies. Before you know it, Suno has taken an aggressive and potentially dangerous situation into a situation where all the dogs just kind of lay down and take a nap not a short distance away from their previous enemy of five minutes ago. And then Suno just sits there with a warm knowing glow in his eye, observing the whole scene and approving of his peacemaking work. It is uncanny.
i am impressed.
So I have a dog. or he has me, i'm not sure which one.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
8 minutes
quick post.
i have 8 minutes.
("we only got 4 minutes to save the world")
oh dear, did i just quote a madonna and justin timberlake song? which probably neither of them even wrote. haha.
anyhow.
pop culture references aside.
i am in fine form today. not so much. headachey, hot, and grumpy. that is my condition.
i am enjoying the fan in this internet cafe though, it is attempting some semblance of "cool".
the course continues on. its good.
mmmmm.... what else.
i am amazed at how each day looks so much like the last. doesn't matter where you are... in kamloops, or in some tropical paradise in south india... routine sets in.
:)
not that i am adverse to routine (ok, i am.) but it can get a bit boring when you are trying to write a blog.
haha.
the highlights of my day continue to be my morning yoga and swim. especially the swim part.
i would not be displeased if every morning of every day for the rest of my life, i could start it with a swim in a nice warm ocean. There is a swimming lane (i don't use it).... not a formal lane, per se, but when you sit and eat your breakfast and you watch, you see that there regulars who swim just a little ways off shore, parallel to the beach, all the way down and all the way back, every day. who knows how far it is that they swim, could be a long ways. this is the best way to do "laps". forget pools. the ocean super charges you with its ions and lifeforce. Surging and flowing over the whole planet, the worlds oceans carry the very essence of the source of life. A huge powerhouse of energy.
This morning i just went for a quick "dip", because yesterday i washed my hair.
"what does that have to do with it?" you ask? well, the salt water of the ocean is a natural anti-bacterial. Bathing daily in the ocean naturally cleans your body and purifies, no soap is needed. Your hair doesn't smell or anything.... you can go days. but yesterday... just for kicks, i had a proper shower and washed my hair with shampoo. it was all shiny and smooth, so i thought i'd keep it that way for a couple of days.
one of the effects of salt water is that that it stays in your hair and so it makes your hair look a little dull. but what do i care? i am not trying to impress anyone here. As long as i am clean and smell good, i'm happy. hahaha.
(many of you know this is true :) (a true hippy at heart hey).
well,
all,
sending yoiu all my love
gotta run,
8 minutes is up.
love
ang
i have 8 minutes.
("we only got 4 minutes to save the world")
oh dear, did i just quote a madonna and justin timberlake song? which probably neither of them even wrote. haha.
anyhow.
pop culture references aside.
i am in fine form today. not so much. headachey, hot, and grumpy. that is my condition.
i am enjoying the fan in this internet cafe though, it is attempting some semblance of "cool".
the course continues on. its good.
mmmmm.... what else.
i am amazed at how each day looks so much like the last. doesn't matter where you are... in kamloops, or in some tropical paradise in south india... routine sets in.
:)
not that i am adverse to routine (ok, i am.) but it can get a bit boring when you are trying to write a blog.
haha.
the highlights of my day continue to be my morning yoga and swim. especially the swim part.
i would not be displeased if every morning of every day for the rest of my life, i could start it with a swim in a nice warm ocean. There is a swimming lane (i don't use it).... not a formal lane, per se, but when you sit and eat your breakfast and you watch, you see that there regulars who swim just a little ways off shore, parallel to the beach, all the way down and all the way back, every day. who knows how far it is that they swim, could be a long ways. this is the best way to do "laps". forget pools. the ocean super charges you with its ions and lifeforce. Surging and flowing over the whole planet, the worlds oceans carry the very essence of the source of life. A huge powerhouse of energy.
This morning i just went for a quick "dip", because yesterday i washed my hair.
"what does that have to do with it?" you ask? well, the salt water of the ocean is a natural anti-bacterial. Bathing daily in the ocean naturally cleans your body and purifies, no soap is needed. Your hair doesn't smell or anything.... you can go days. but yesterday... just for kicks, i had a proper shower and washed my hair with shampoo. it was all shiny and smooth, so i thought i'd keep it that way for a couple of days.
one of the effects of salt water is that that it stays in your hair and so it makes your hair look a little dull. but what do i care? i am not trying to impress anyone here. As long as i am clean and smell good, i'm happy. hahaha.
(many of you know this is true :) (a true hippy at heart hey).
well,
all,
sending yoiu all my love
gotta run,
8 minutes is up.
love
ang
raving
hi ho all!
i'm still here.
our training started yesterday, and it is going fabulously so far. so i'm glad we went through all the trouble to come this far south to take it. for those of you who are interested and haven't checked it out yet... its the real deal,... and the "easy" way, the effective way, the way that works (don't i sound like a preacher, haha)
go to www.balancedview.com and just start listening to the downloads. start with the basics for beginners (probably under media) or introductory training, and just take a listen. put it on your ipod and listen to it before you go to bed. its good for making you fall asleep, haha. see if it speaks to you at all. its just about taking short moments of awareness or clarity, throughout your day, whenever you remember to, repeated many time, becomes continuous. so simple, but this is the practice and through doing just this, we can come to rely on the power of our own natural clarity to find stability, satisfaction and relief in life from all the crazy ups and downs. It is based on the teachings of the ancient tibetans, but it has been modernized by the founder: candice o'denver, who started this non-porfit organization to share the teaching.
I am finding that it is helping my life to become so much easier and pleasurable.
You know those mornings when you wake up and all the things you need to do, all the things that are going on in your life, come crashing into your mind when you first wake up and become aware? and then sometimes you feel good, depending on what is happening, and sometimes you feel bad, sometimes really bad, stressed, anxious, tense or perhaps depressed, or angry, as you remember all these things going on in your life ... well by using this teaching, i am finding that my feeling of wellbeing or happiness is not dependent on the circumstances or things that are going on or not going on in my life, whatever the case may be.
I used to wake up some mornings... feeling naturally good for a second, a split second, before all the things i needed to think about came crashing into my mind, like uninvited party crashers, and then the wheels would begin to turn "oh, what am i going to do about this? what am i going to do about that? how to fix this problem? oh, it is such a big problem. How did i get here?" and on and on. constant tension. Unless i woke up with favourable points of view, maybe i just got that job that i had been wanting, wanting, trying for for so long, and i got it, and so i wake up and the first thought in my mind is like "oh good, i got that job, oh i feel good about myself, i did it, i accomplished something, i am so good" like that. but then that feeling of wellbeing never lasts. the job goes stale, or the relationship goes stale or loses its spark, or that new car you are so excited about got a dent or lost that new car smell.... the good feelings pass too, and then we are looking for the next fix, the next thing that can bring us a sense of wellbeing and calm and happiness. so life is this constant roller coaster, up, down, all around. with relying on clarity or your own natural awareness, for short moments whenever you remember to, until it becomes automatic.... this ability to rely on clarity soon becomes the basis of your wellbeing. So for me, i can take a short moment when i wake up, acknowledge my own perfect awareness just for a moment, it feels like just relaxing, taking a short time out, just for a second stop the thinking and rest. hmmmm
i am going on and on about this here.
i am already starting to notice changes in my state of being. They say you can start by just taking short moments, or listening to downloads, or both and let the practice slowly gradually build, and naturally your confidence will build.
I was first introduced to it 2 years ago when i was in india and i was like.. ya, this is cool, but i don't really get it. i told mom about it and then pretty much just forgot about it, until she started to really pick up the practice last year. and they have tons of media and tele-conferences and stuff online, so you can access it from anywhere in the world. so she was doing that. so i picked it up again, and now we have come all the way to goa to visit the centre they just built here (all volunteer driven and open financial contribution funded by participants who received value from the trainings). and this time, going through the course, is really sinking in for me.
so i wanted to share.
that is what is going on. hee hee.
so if all that totally doesn't interest you...
this is what else is going on....
we are still staying in the same place, eating the same food (haha). walking the same red dusty pathways from the beach to the "town", which consists of just one paved street with shops along each side that meanders along until it just peters out at the end of the trail. This is the northern-most beach and community in the state of goa, so this really is the end of the trail here. it is kinda funny to see the road go and go, and it just gets smaller and smaller and quieter and quieter until finally it just turns into a dirt footpath between buildings and empties out onto the beach.
haha.
the dirt here is red, so it gets on everything. my feet have turned a permanent dark red colour, as have everyone elses here. we remove sandals when going into internet cafes or someplaces where you eat and sit, so you get to see that everyone's feet are the same. everywhere you go. its kind of funny.
the parties continue at night. i only have been out dancing one time, for like 15 minutes, then their power went out so i went home to bed. :)
two bars over from us was reggae night last night, so i put my earplugs in and drifted off to dreamyland. sometimes it keeps us awake at night, but we are far too lazy to move houses at this point. we are just gonna stick it out.
it is only 2 more weeks until we leave. mom goes home and me, back up to rishikesh.
i don't fly home until april 5. so i have a bit more time in the motherland.
ok well,
wishing everyone well.
and much love!!
ang
i'm still here.
our training started yesterday, and it is going fabulously so far. so i'm glad we went through all the trouble to come this far south to take it. for those of you who are interested and haven't checked it out yet... its the real deal,... and the "easy" way, the effective way, the way that works (don't i sound like a preacher, haha)
go to www.balancedview.com and just start listening to the downloads. start with the basics for beginners (probably under media) or introductory training, and just take a listen. put it on your ipod and listen to it before you go to bed. its good for making you fall asleep, haha. see if it speaks to you at all. its just about taking short moments of awareness or clarity, throughout your day, whenever you remember to, repeated many time, becomes continuous. so simple, but this is the practice and through doing just this, we can come to rely on the power of our own natural clarity to find stability, satisfaction and relief in life from all the crazy ups and downs. It is based on the teachings of the ancient tibetans, but it has been modernized by the founder: candice o'denver, who started this non-porfit organization to share the teaching.
I am finding that it is helping my life to become so much easier and pleasurable.
You know those mornings when you wake up and all the things you need to do, all the things that are going on in your life, come crashing into your mind when you first wake up and become aware? and then sometimes you feel good, depending on what is happening, and sometimes you feel bad, sometimes really bad, stressed, anxious, tense or perhaps depressed, or angry, as you remember all these things going on in your life ... well by using this teaching, i am finding that my feeling of wellbeing or happiness is not dependent on the circumstances or things that are going on or not going on in my life, whatever the case may be.
I used to wake up some mornings... feeling naturally good for a second, a split second, before all the things i needed to think about came crashing into my mind, like uninvited party crashers, and then the wheels would begin to turn "oh, what am i going to do about this? what am i going to do about that? how to fix this problem? oh, it is such a big problem. How did i get here?" and on and on. constant tension. Unless i woke up with favourable points of view, maybe i just got that job that i had been wanting, wanting, trying for for so long, and i got it, and so i wake up and the first thought in my mind is like "oh good, i got that job, oh i feel good about myself, i did it, i accomplished something, i am so good" like that. but then that feeling of wellbeing never lasts. the job goes stale, or the relationship goes stale or loses its spark, or that new car you are so excited about got a dent or lost that new car smell.... the good feelings pass too, and then we are looking for the next fix, the next thing that can bring us a sense of wellbeing and calm and happiness. so life is this constant roller coaster, up, down, all around. with relying on clarity or your own natural awareness, for short moments whenever you remember to, until it becomes automatic.... this ability to rely on clarity soon becomes the basis of your wellbeing. So for me, i can take a short moment when i wake up, acknowledge my own perfect awareness just for a moment, it feels like just relaxing, taking a short time out, just for a second stop the thinking and rest. hmmmm
i am going on and on about this here.
i am already starting to notice changes in my state of being. They say you can start by just taking short moments, or listening to downloads, or both and let the practice slowly gradually build, and naturally your confidence will build.
I was first introduced to it 2 years ago when i was in india and i was like.. ya, this is cool, but i don't really get it. i told mom about it and then pretty much just forgot about it, until she started to really pick up the practice last year. and they have tons of media and tele-conferences and stuff online, so you can access it from anywhere in the world. so she was doing that. so i picked it up again, and now we have come all the way to goa to visit the centre they just built here (all volunteer driven and open financial contribution funded by participants who received value from the trainings). and this time, going through the course, is really sinking in for me.
so i wanted to share.
that is what is going on. hee hee.
so if all that totally doesn't interest you...
this is what else is going on....
we are still staying in the same place, eating the same food (haha). walking the same red dusty pathways from the beach to the "town", which consists of just one paved street with shops along each side that meanders along until it just peters out at the end of the trail. This is the northern-most beach and community in the state of goa, so this really is the end of the trail here. it is kinda funny to see the road go and go, and it just gets smaller and smaller and quieter and quieter until finally it just turns into a dirt footpath between buildings and empties out onto the beach.
haha.
the dirt here is red, so it gets on everything. my feet have turned a permanent dark red colour, as have everyone elses here. we remove sandals when going into internet cafes or someplaces where you eat and sit, so you get to see that everyone's feet are the same. everywhere you go. its kind of funny.
the parties continue at night. i only have been out dancing one time, for like 15 minutes, then their power went out so i went home to bed. :)
two bars over from us was reggae night last night, so i put my earplugs in and drifted off to dreamyland. sometimes it keeps us awake at night, but we are far too lazy to move houses at this point. we are just gonna stick it out.
it is only 2 more weeks until we leave. mom goes home and me, back up to rishikesh.
i don't fly home until april 5. so i have a bit more time in the motherland.
ok well,
wishing everyone well.
and much love!!
ang
Sunday, January 9, 2011
the circus is town
well, to be perfectly honest about it... i'm starting to get tired of the weirdos. I know that is just a point of view but...
Rob, you would think it was a circus here. i've seen it all, and all on one beach, often in the same day, or the same hour: a guy doing lunges.... all the way down to the waters edge, another one does cartwheels and handstands all the way down to the water's edge (ok, i admit, that was me) . another guy does "sun" yoga everyday, where it looks like he is doing some kind of weird voodoo to harness sun energy in his body, lets just say its weird and leave it at that (and my tolerance or definition for weird is waaaay loose). there are hoola hoopers, fire twirlers, drummers, people tattood head to toe, women wearing thongs.... men wearing thongs, people with something against tanlines, wearing as little as humanly possible, jugglers, tai chi-ers, then there is the gawkers, the topless bathers, the dancers, the saxophone player, the human mandala drawer, people in various stages of undress, or dress, crazy clothes, crazy hair, crazy tattoos, ( mentioned that already) .... My fire twirling, knife throwing circus performer brother Jack would be right at home here. haha
everybody's got a trip here. its almost to see who can outdo themselves being the most creative, the most bizarre, the most "out there" that they can be, just for the sake of "expressing" themselves, and proving that there are no rules or limits, and this seems to be the purpose of their existence.
ya, so that is getting boring. but that is just my point of view of today.
how are you?
So we have 2 days off between courses, then we start another 12 days course. Its not that it is such a rigorous schedule or anything, but in the morning I have to get up, yoga, swim and breakfast and be at the centre by 10:30 on the dot. And we have a two hour lunch break but that is spent on eating and homework assignments. We finish around 5pm and so then its dinner and internet and pretty much bedtime. So its a busy - full day.... by indian standards. ha ha.
Its still a little surreal to me when... on our two hour lunch break, i can leave town and saunter down to the beach, strip down to my bathing suit and walk into the ocean. its so hot, this is a welcome respite in the middle of the day. It doesn't escape me that i spend my lunchbreak in paradise. some school. haha. if school was actually like this... i might have enjoyed it a bit more. haha. seafood salads and swims at lunch..... on the other hand... if i had grown up in hawaii or someplace like that... it would have been difficult to keep me in school, I would have been out surfing.
Wish i had a board here. it is perfect beginner waves on a beach break.
anyhow.
that's all the whining from me.
hope the hill is getting lots of snow for you skiers and boarders out there. Rip it up for me, would ya?
thanks!
peace, from Goa (aka: hippie land)
Rob, you would think it was a circus here. i've seen it all, and all on one beach, often in the same day, or the same hour: a guy doing lunges.... all the way down to the waters edge, another one does cartwheels and handstands all the way down to the water's edge (ok, i admit, that was me) . another guy does "sun" yoga everyday, where it looks like he is doing some kind of weird voodoo to harness sun energy in his body, lets just say its weird and leave it at that (and my tolerance or definition for weird is waaaay loose). there are hoola hoopers, fire twirlers, drummers, people tattood head to toe, women wearing thongs.... men wearing thongs, people with something against tanlines, wearing as little as humanly possible, jugglers, tai chi-ers, then there is the gawkers, the topless bathers, the dancers, the saxophone player, the human mandala drawer, people in various stages of undress, or dress, crazy clothes, crazy hair, crazy tattoos, ( mentioned that already) .... My fire twirling, knife throwing circus performer brother Jack would be right at home here. haha
everybody's got a trip here. its almost to see who can outdo themselves being the most creative, the most bizarre, the most "out there" that they can be, just for the sake of "expressing" themselves, and proving that there are no rules or limits, and this seems to be the purpose of their existence.
ya, so that is getting boring. but that is just my point of view of today.
how are you?
So we have 2 days off between courses, then we start another 12 days course. Its not that it is such a rigorous schedule or anything, but in the morning I have to get up, yoga, swim and breakfast and be at the centre by 10:30 on the dot. And we have a two hour lunch break but that is spent on eating and homework assignments. We finish around 5pm and so then its dinner and internet and pretty much bedtime. So its a busy - full day.... by indian standards. ha ha.
Its still a little surreal to me when... on our two hour lunch break, i can leave town and saunter down to the beach, strip down to my bathing suit and walk into the ocean. its so hot, this is a welcome respite in the middle of the day. It doesn't escape me that i spend my lunchbreak in paradise. some school. haha. if school was actually like this... i might have enjoyed it a bit more. haha. seafood salads and swims at lunch..... on the other hand... if i had grown up in hawaii or someplace like that... it would have been difficult to keep me in school, I would have been out surfing.
Wish i had a board here. it is perfect beginner waves on a beach break.
anyhow.
that's all the whining from me.
hope the hill is getting lots of snow for you skiers and boarders out there. Rip it up for me, would ya?
thanks!
peace, from Goa (aka: hippie land)
Friday, January 7, 2011
no new news
hello armchair travellers....
well, i am back to full power after my little "episode" with the prawns and all. haha.
this will be a very short entry because apparently this keyboard is VERY sticky and the cafe is full so there is no changing to another.
the course we are in goes well. all is well. no more mice or other pests (although i'm sure mom thinks i'm a pest sometimes. haha)
it is very hot.
yoga is good, swimming is good.
oh, what a boring blog!!
hmmm,
ya,
i will write again when the keyboard isnot so frusterating.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
love
ang
well, i am back to full power after my little "episode" with the prawns and all. haha.
this will be a very short entry because apparently this keyboard is VERY sticky and the cafe is full so there is no changing to another.
the course we are in goes well. all is well. no more mice or other pests (although i'm sure mom thinks i'm a pest sometimes. haha)
it is very hot.
yoga is good, swimming is good.
oh, what a boring blog!!
hmmm,
ya,
i will write again when the keyboard isnot so frusterating.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
love
ang
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
a bad prawn
Hello good morning all!
Just having a few minutes before my course starts this morning. The Great Freedom - Balanced View course (www.greatfreedom.org) with my mom. already, it is so good.
it is going to do wonders for hers and my relationship, i can tell. plus probably all my other relationships too. wink wink. we will see....
So... i am day 3 of recovering from... yeah, ok, i have to admit... it was food poisoning. different from just funny water... this was food born for sure. I ate a bad prawn. (did i tell you all this already?? don't think i did ) anyhow. So ya. went to the chinese restaurant for lunch (i know, what was i thinking??) and had the garlic chili prawn noodle stirfry. hmmm. That was 2 days ago. .... sicker than a dog that day, yesterday i was at about half power only, and today i am back to full power. Pretty amazing, really, considering how violently my body was dispelling the offending substance, that i have recovered so completely so quickly. hahaha.
aaaahhhh, adventures in paradise.
but hey, you know, i've had food poisoning in canada, lots of times..... an undercooked pork chop (i was the bbq-er, hahahaha, my fault), some potato salad in the summer....you know mayonnaise can kill you? haha.
more laughter.
aaah, its all fun and games.
anyhow.
i am fine. Feel great. back to my yoga and swim this morning and feel wonderful. The body is amazing how it cleanses, purifies and heals and rebalances itself. wow.
My swim this morning was a little extra special. there was a bit of a nip in the air... because i was out a little earlier than usual. and so after yoga when i stripped down to swim, it was a little chilly, so then the water.... oh my god, was so warm! it was like a nice bath. i slipped in and didn't want to get back out it was so nice and warm in there. mmmm.
i don't know if the sea was just extra warm today (i don't know why or how it could be) or if the morning was just a little extra cold by comparison. probably the latter.
anyhow.
all is well in paradise.
lots of love to you all,
and missing you.
ang
Just having a few minutes before my course starts this morning. The Great Freedom - Balanced View course (www.greatfreedom.org) with my mom. already, it is so good.
it is going to do wonders for hers and my relationship, i can tell. plus probably all my other relationships too. wink wink. we will see....
So... i am day 3 of recovering from... yeah, ok, i have to admit... it was food poisoning. different from just funny water... this was food born for sure. I ate a bad prawn. (did i tell you all this already?? don't think i did ) anyhow. So ya. went to the chinese restaurant for lunch (i know, what was i thinking??) and had the garlic chili prawn noodle stirfry. hmmm. That was 2 days ago. .... sicker than a dog that day, yesterday i was at about half power only, and today i am back to full power. Pretty amazing, really, considering how violently my body was dispelling the offending substance, that i have recovered so completely so quickly. hahaha.
aaaahhhh, adventures in paradise.
but hey, you know, i've had food poisoning in canada, lots of times..... an undercooked pork chop (i was the bbq-er, hahahaha, my fault), some potato salad in the summer....you know mayonnaise can kill you? haha.
more laughter.
aaah, its all fun and games.
anyhow.
i am fine. Feel great. back to my yoga and swim this morning and feel wonderful. The body is amazing how it cleanses, purifies and heals and rebalances itself. wow.
My swim this morning was a little extra special. there was a bit of a nip in the air... because i was out a little earlier than usual. and so after yoga when i stripped down to swim, it was a little chilly, so then the water.... oh my god, was so warm! it was like a nice bath. i slipped in and didn't want to get back out it was so nice and warm in there. mmmm.
i don't know if the sea was just extra warm today (i don't know why or how it could be) or if the morning was just a little extra cold by comparison. probably the latter.
anyhow.
all is well in paradise.
lots of love to you all,
and missing you.
ang
Monday, January 3, 2011
magical morning
There is a bit of magic in the air today. The sea was the same colour as the sky this morning and you couldn't see the line where the sea and sky meet. The horizon was gone. Boats in the air. I love it when this happens. It leaves you with a feeling of spaciousness, like... you are not seperate from all of the cosmos.
And then...as if that wasn't enough......my morning swim was accommpanied by live saxophone music! Someone was out there early, standing on the beach, playing beautiful music with their sax and when i swam, it carried over the water to my ears. Very surreal. And then, as if THAT wasn't enough... there were dolphins while I ate my breakfast! Dolphins, jumping in the ocean! wow! i feel so spoiled/blessed/lucky/grateful.
And then...as if that wasn't enough......my morning swim was accommpanied by live saxophone music! Someone was out there early, standing on the beach, playing beautiful music with their sax and when i swam, it carried over the water to my ears. Very surreal. And then, as if THAT wasn't enough... there were dolphins while I ate my breakfast! Dolphins, jumping in the ocean! wow! i feel so spoiled/blessed/lucky/grateful.
helloo
Ok, i’m back to writing on the beach on my own computer, and then pen driving it to the internet cafe. I have to start cutting some money corners here. Haha. And being on the internet for 2 hours a day is not helping my pocket book.\
Also its nice, on our front porch, to watch the sunset while i type,
Haha.
Well, so, another blissful day in paradise. I’m sure you’re all getting tired of hearing that.
I suppose i do have an interesting story to tell you from the night before last.... hmmmm, where to begin? Well, its not gonna be a good story for some of you... but here goes: i was in my bed the other night, right (lol).... and my bed is surrounded by a mosquito net that is tucked in on all sides. Now this particular night i had woken up at 1am, thinking it was just before dawn, for some reason, i didn’t bother to check a clock or anything, i just got up and came outside and laid down on my back to watch the stars... i put on my hoody cause it was kind of cold and i was just laying there, enjoying the view, and waiting for the sun to come up. Except the sun didn’t come up, and suddenly the thought occurred to me... maybe i oughta really check the time, right? And so i got up and looked... haha, its only 1am, so i went back to bed. I wore my hoody. I fell asleep. Next thing i know, there is a tickle in my sleeve. You know the feeling like when there is a spider on your skin? Well, this sensation sort of woke me up and then i just sort of ignored it and was just starting to drift off again when again, i felt it. This time it was definitely something walking across my feet on top of my covers! More like ....skittering across. Oh god! What is it this time? I’ve had crabs on my tent in costa rica.... scorpions on my pillow in the Nicaraguan Bay Islands.... I just couldn’t, didn’t want to imagine, what i was up against here. But since i am enclosed INSIDE this mosquito net with whatever it is, I am pretty eager to find out what IT is. I jump up, i flick the light on and i just stand there.... watching. Mom sleeps on....
Finally i see a little twitch or flicker of my mosquito net in the one corner, so i move the chair away from the bed, and as i do this is see..... a tail disappearing under the mattress. Oh god again. I’m thinking maybe its just a gecko (baby lizard, no biggy). But i still don’t want to sleep with it. Lol. So i gingerly remove all my blankets and pillows from inside. I don’t want what ever it is, making a run for it and getting tangled up in my blankets. Ugh. And then i look, and he peeks back at me.... its a small cute mouse, looking more disconcerted and panicky than i feel.
How’re we gonna get you out of there little guy? I start to untuck the netting out from under the mattress all around, to give him a chance to escape. No, he is scared and running away from me, deeper into the netting and then finally UP the inside of the netting up to the top and now he is staring down at me as he stands on top of the bambook crossbars that spread the net apart at the top. I shake it and i shake it and he holds on for dear life. Mom sleeps on even after i start talking to the little guy, thinking maybe he will listen if i tell him what to do. Hahaha.
Finally he falls down onto the bed again and tries to bury under the mattress again and make himself invisible. He buries his head and just hopes i’ll go away. He is closer to the opening in the net now, and so... i figure with a brave flick of my hand i can send him airborn towards the opening. IT WORKS! The little bugger is now on his feet and flying along the floor and up the nearest wall and out of the hut.
Phew! We both exclaim with relief. That was a close one.
I figured that he must have either been inside my hoody when i put it on, or climbed inside when i was laying on my back watching the stars outside, because the mosquito net is sealed on all sides, apparently it serves to keep out more than just the mosquitos eh. Sheesh. The mosquitos are kind of a joke anyways. Each dawn and each dusk, it seems like there are exactly 4 mosquitos that come out for about ... 10 minutes, fly around lackadaisically and then disappear. They don’t seem particularily hungry or driven to bite, although they do, i have been bitten. But they are not thick and ferocious and relentless the way they are in Canada when you are camping in the summer. Kamloops is great rrfor that, we don’t have so many mosquitoes ya.
It is sunset and everyone is making there sunset pilgrimage from one location to another. The beach becomes a highway as people move from one location to another along the beach, using it as a road.
The crowds have dropped off, now that new years is over. It is nice, a little strange to be so quiet, but i’m not complaining.
Well, there goes the sun, not much of a sunset tonight, other than the sun itself turning bright bright red. As it likes to do in Asian countries. The rest of the sky stays a muted grey as the world loses colour until tomorrow.
Hope all had a happy new year. Love, peace.
Also its nice, on our front porch, to watch the sunset while i type,
Haha.
Well, so, another blissful day in paradise. I’m sure you’re all getting tired of hearing that.
I suppose i do have an interesting story to tell you from the night before last.... hmmmm, where to begin? Well, its not gonna be a good story for some of you... but here goes: i was in my bed the other night, right (lol).... and my bed is surrounded by a mosquito net that is tucked in on all sides. Now this particular night i had woken up at 1am, thinking it was just before dawn, for some reason, i didn’t bother to check a clock or anything, i just got up and came outside and laid down on my back to watch the stars... i put on my hoody cause it was kind of cold and i was just laying there, enjoying the view, and waiting for the sun to come up. Except the sun didn’t come up, and suddenly the thought occurred to me... maybe i oughta really check the time, right? And so i got up and looked... haha, its only 1am, so i went back to bed. I wore my hoody. I fell asleep. Next thing i know, there is a tickle in my sleeve. You know the feeling like when there is a spider on your skin? Well, this sensation sort of woke me up and then i just sort of ignored it and was just starting to drift off again when again, i felt it. This time it was definitely something walking across my feet on top of my covers! More like ....skittering across. Oh god! What is it this time? I’ve had crabs on my tent in costa rica.... scorpions on my pillow in the Nicaraguan Bay Islands.... I just couldn’t, didn’t want to imagine, what i was up against here. But since i am enclosed INSIDE this mosquito net with whatever it is, I am pretty eager to find out what IT is. I jump up, i flick the light on and i just stand there.... watching. Mom sleeps on....
Finally i see a little twitch or flicker of my mosquito net in the one corner, so i move the chair away from the bed, and as i do this is see..... a tail disappearing under the mattress. Oh god again. I’m thinking maybe its just a gecko (baby lizard, no biggy). But i still don’t want to sleep with it. Lol. So i gingerly remove all my blankets and pillows from inside. I don’t want what ever it is, making a run for it and getting tangled up in my blankets. Ugh. And then i look, and he peeks back at me.... its a small cute mouse, looking more disconcerted and panicky than i feel.
How’re we gonna get you out of there little guy? I start to untuck the netting out from under the mattress all around, to give him a chance to escape. No, he is scared and running away from me, deeper into the netting and then finally UP the inside of the netting up to the top and now he is staring down at me as he stands on top of the bambook crossbars that spread the net apart at the top. I shake it and i shake it and he holds on for dear life. Mom sleeps on even after i start talking to the little guy, thinking maybe he will listen if i tell him what to do. Hahaha.
Finally he falls down onto the bed again and tries to bury under the mattress again and make himself invisible. He buries his head and just hopes i’ll go away. He is closer to the opening in the net now, and so... i figure with a brave flick of my hand i can send him airborn towards the opening. IT WORKS! The little bugger is now on his feet and flying along the floor and up the nearest wall and out of the hut.
Phew! We both exclaim with relief. That was a close one.
I figured that he must have either been inside my hoody when i put it on, or climbed inside when i was laying on my back watching the stars outside, because the mosquito net is sealed on all sides, apparently it serves to keep out more than just the mosquitos eh. Sheesh. The mosquitos are kind of a joke anyways. Each dawn and each dusk, it seems like there are exactly 4 mosquitos that come out for about ... 10 minutes, fly around lackadaisically and then disappear. They don’t seem particularily hungry or driven to bite, although they do, i have been bitten. But they are not thick and ferocious and relentless the way they are in Canada when you are camping in the summer. Kamloops is great rrfor that, we don’t have so many mosquitoes ya.
It is sunset and everyone is making there sunset pilgrimage from one location to another. The beach becomes a highway as people move from one location to another along the beach, using it as a road.
The crowds have dropped off, now that new years is over. It is nice, a little strange to be so quiet, but i’m not complaining.
Well, there goes the sun, not much of a sunset tonight, other than the sun itself turning bright bright red. As it likes to do in Asian countries. The rest of the sky stays a muted grey as the world loses colour until tomorrow.
Hope all had a happy new year. Love, peace.
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