I am now someone's "kakima", "didi" and "bhabhi" and happy to be :) What a huge family I've married into :) I feel like i am now related to half of India. It's incredible. We have left our family home in Laxman Jhula and are now in Delhi staying for a few days. I am already missing hearing "kakima! kakima!" from the kids a hundred times a day. The really fun part is.... before Nakul and I were married, it was just Ritu they called kakima, but now, both Ritu and I are kakima to our niece and nephew Manu and Gunnu. It took my awhile to start answering to calls of "kakima" and now whenever the word "kakima" is uttered, both Ritu and I look up from what we are doing. I suspect the kids must think this is awesome, that now they get two responses from one call. Too funny. Ritu and I both have to look up in order to see which of us is being called. Wow! So we are in Delhi, yes, its lovely, cause we're at the Hilton Saket. Sooooo comfy. Sooooo luxurious. A short honeymoon of sorts. We are sleeping in a bed that is exactly double the size of ours at home and it's unbelievably comfortable. Anyhow, I'll be home soon. Missing everyone. Sending love.

December 7, 2012, but you know that already. Life is good. very very good. man, i always have a million things to write but then when i sit down to write them, my mind goes blank! one more week until nakul and i go to delhi for our "honeymoon". its a miracles of modern technology that i can sit beside the river Ganga watching the water go by from a cafe, drinking chai and be on the internet with my husband's internet stick, chatting with my mom and trying to remember what i wanted to blog about. why does my mind go blank now whenever i open this page? last week. what to say? we are up to our eyeballs in paperwork. the river is green. life rolls on. :)

Hey i know i've been totally caught up in all the wedding and family stuff lately. my parents and bro just left today. ddrove out of rishikesh on their way to catch a train to delhi tomorrow. strange to see them go. feels like we've all been here for months and months, not just four weeks. so now i'm just enjoying some me time. sitting, looking at the hills, drinking chai... got my internet stick, thanks to my beloved husband (so weird to say that, but fun) and i am just free wheelin and smilin. the intensity of the wedding celebrations has settled down and now life returns somewhat to normal. 2 weeks to enjoy here and then off to delhi ourselves for a mini honeymoon. well, i realized, again, i have very little to write about. sorry about it. love to all, me.

Post wedding bliss

So... here we are. Married. Of course its been a really busy few days so havn't had a chance to get online. Plus my sister in law just broke her foot yesterday so i have been helping her out so she can rest. I had a cold the couple days after the wedding and was in bed mostly resting. So ya, its been kinda nuts. Funny that.... well sad kinda, that after being to india so many times and living here for several months, it doesn't seem like there is anything to write about anymore, cause i've said it all before. everything just appears normal to me now, not noteworthy in my mind. Its raining today. That's different. I just spent 6 hours doing cooking and dishes at the house and i've stepped out to take a break. The rain is nice. I am sitting at Divine hotel restaurant which has wi fi and overlooks the river. Its kinda cool and relaxing here. i'm the only one here. sipping a coffee. i think it was nescafe. boooo. its so bad i think i have to send it back and order a pot of masala chai for my sanity. blechhht!! Today i was reminded how hard indian women work. Even if they don't have a garden and livestock to care for. I mean... of course it takes ritu a fraction of the time to perform the tasks that take me hours, like making roti or dahl, or packing someone a lunch or washing a few dishes. but still.... it is a heck of a lot of work every day and i am glad that i have already discovered that i am not tough enough nor stalwart enough for the job. Although I AM loyal, reliable, and hardworking, just not THAT hardworking :) I admire the women here for the job they do. So the wedding was a grande success. Everyone including the bride and groom had a funtastic time and i really couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect ceremony and celebration for myself. i will post some pictures.

wikipedia: (i cried) In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps: "We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us. May the morning be honey-sweet for us. May the earth be honey-sweet for us. May the heavens be honey-sweet for us. May the plants be honey-sweet for us. May the sun be all honey for us. May the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our union be permanently settled."[ Neo India - A foreigners guide to traditional Hindu weddings: (i just about died laughing reading this article) You could look up the various individual rituals – kanyaa daan, saptapadi, etc. – that comprise a Hindu wedding on Wikipedia, but it wouldn’t be helpful, because the priest who is conducting the wedding ceremony is probably doing something totally different, because he hasn’t read the Wikipedia page. and: Even though most weddings are now held indoors, the mandap is canopy-covered because Hindu weddings are traditionally supposed to be held outdoors. However, even if the wedding were being held outdoors, you still wouldn’t be allowed to wear your shoes in the mandap. Basically, what we’re trying to say is, taking off your shoes increases the number of places you can safely visit in a Hindu wedding – if you’re willing to take off your shirt, you could probably sit right next to the priest.

Googling "what does a traditional hindu bride do?" I'm in bed with a cold. Nice right? 4 days before my wedding. Hahaha. Funny how... it has become such a "wedding". I mean... i never saw myself getting married really. Never had a great respect for the institution itself, always felt that... i didn't want a piece of paper dictating that i needed to stay with someone for the rest of my life... always wanted to choose that every morning by waking up and deciding that i wanted to be with that person each day.... never wanted to fall into a rut of taking them for granted or ceasing to make an effort to make the relationship thrive and grow and become an ongoing inspiration or teaching tool for both partners. But i've always been idealistic. In bed with a cold, nothing serious. Time to reflect. Time to research. Just curious. It's becoming such a "wedding", i'm sure as most weddings do. The purpose for both of us was just to get it done, but inevitably, as things unfold... there are certain protocols and preferences, even my own that i didn't even know existed, that begin to show themselves... and things get increasingly more elaborate as the day grows closer. But we are happy with the developments. It is still rather relaxed. Spending the day in bed is a luxury i am happy to enjoy at the moment. I always thought i would like to get married barefoot on a beach somewhere. I can understand why people elope. But as i said, i am content with the goings on. nothing is over the top and everything is perfect so far. It just occurs to me like a dream sometimes, when i take a moment to step back and take a look. Now... back to my research. :)

It's easy to look at someone else's travel photos while you are sitting at home and think "oh wow, how fantastic someone else's life seems compared to mine". i do it all the time when i am home. But just remember: we can only post photos of exotic places and fun activities, but it is impossible to post photos of inner turmoil, mental disturbances, pain, worry or stress. We don't see that posted on facebook or on a blog, yet every one of us feels these things, regardless of where we are. Sometimes we might feel like we can momentarily escape from these things by travelling somewhere, but it turns out to be only a distraction for us. The only true freedom from these things comes from within, and from the constant acceptance of these things as normal and fine and just as lovely as the more favourable points of view that we have sometimes. All is perception, not reality. Reality is that we just are as we are. Things just are as they are. This happens, that happens. Only our attachment to them or aversion to them cause the suffering. On another more tangible note: the more i am away from canada, though i LOVE canada, the more crazy our life there seems. The endless chasing after things, after success, after achievements, up, up, up, without taking the time to actually enjoy the things that are free. It truly is a rat race. The longer i stay here, the less my life in canada actually makes sense to me sometimes when i think of it. it all just seems like such senseless striving at the expense of our relationships with eachother and time spent together just being. we ARE human beings ,not human DOINGS, after all. as my mother reminded me on the plane ride over here. Don't get me wrong, I love my life in Canada, i LOVE the lifestyle , all the fancy things, and the stuff that works and isn't broken. The systems that function in a reliable predictable fashion. So unlike India with it's unpredictability and bank machines that are out of cash today, and street lights that haven't been operational in decades, and bribes to officials and power outages, and cable break downs, and interruptions to internet service. Life just goes on, people adjust, people are used to it. Every time i come here i am hit by the generosity of the people, the warmth, the thoughtfulness, the intense HUMANNESS that is on display here that makes me feel like my life back home is missing something. Something i didn't even know it was missing until i came to india the first time. Maybe that is part of the reason i am marrying an indian man. maybe its to bring a part of that part i feel i am missing back with me. maybe it is to have a constant reminder in my life every day of what is truly important. like a life line. having my brother, my mother, my step-father here is amazing. having family here is heaven. i only wish my dad could have come, but i feel him here in spirit.

paperwork and wedding shopping

I’ve had a few incredible days since we’ve been here a week, but no time to write about them. It’s amazing having my family and Nakul’s family all on the same property. It’s like our first family reunion EVER and it’s a month long affair. Everyone is enjoying eachother immensely and relationships are flourishing, including mine and Nakul’s. It’s a beautifully rich experience, I really couldn’t ask for more. I am getting used to the idea, day by day, of having a husband, of being married, of being a wife. It’s super bizarre but i love it. Today was a big paperwork day. If you thought paperwork in Canada was a headache.... try it in India. Haha. The nice thing is that...it’s a rather social event. Even though it took most of the day, from 10am to 8pm with about a 3hour break in the middle when we came home to rest, we were with two of Nakul’s friends, Pramod and Gopal, who were there with us for both moral support and for expertise and guidance regarding all things bureaucratic. We were arranging the paperwork that will allow us to marry in a Hindu ceremony, foreigner with Indian, and allow us to have the ceremony at a hilltop temple in the mountains about 25km out of town. There are several hoops to jump through and people to speak to and offices to visit and papers to have drawn up and notarized and signed and stamped, applications and long waits and fees to pay... photocopies and photographs, perhaps bribes, long conversations in Hindi between our group and various officials and religious representatives, long conversations and plenty of joking around within our group of three boys and myself, to make the whole day tolerable, finished off with a couple plates of Tibetan momos and some Chinese macaroni before finally heading home at the end of the night. Night? Yes night. We were at it all day and all night. From 10am to 3pm and then again from 5:30 to 8pm. Nothing happens fast. I always enjoy riding around on the back of the scooter, through traffic, through the market, dodging traffic and pedestrians. Tonight on our way home, Nakul drove straight towards the big white market bull. You’ll know the one i’m talking about if you’ve ever spent any amount of time in Rishikesh market. He just plies the main road, back and forth, back and forth. I am not sure if there is any vehicle that does not get out of his way. He has testicles the size of small watermelons and his back stands somewhere around 6ft. His head looks you straight in the eye if you happen to come up against him. Nakul drove so close before swirving, I could have reach out a hand and touched him. Lots of cows here. Street cows like street dogs. That’s no secret. But its the bulls who run the road. Bulls seem to trump almost everything on the road in india because they have a touchy temperament. A bull can decide for no reason at all that he doesn’t care for you and toss his head in your direction, pointing a horn at you. So everyone gives them a wide berth, just in case. Lots of times bulls get into tussles with one another and can knock over street vendors or damage property, so storekeepers tend to try to scare them off with sticks or yelling. Anyhow, i digress. I’m tired and not thinking straight. So , the paperwork, at this end, is almost finished, it looks like we are in the free and clear to do this at the temple of our choice: Kunjapuri. We have been holding our breath that everything will go smoothly and all the palms that need greasing will be well lubricated and their attached owners properly pacified so they give their stamp of approval. It is quite a labrynth to navigate; a complex system designed to put money in the pockets of several individuals with all their manufactured documents and regulations that mean next to nothing at the end of the day. The ceremony will probably be in the morning sometime on the 24th once we get all the people biked and transported up there. Thinking around 35 people or so. The ceremony is 2-3 hours. You can see the snow on the Himalayan peaks from the temple. The ceremony will be outdoors, with everyone seated around us i think. Should be cool. The day after the ceremony there will be a fire ceremony to celebrate and also to bring good fortune to our future and then a big feast and dancing and all that. Then there will be another set of paperwork as we go in for the court marriage. Which is the official government marriage. So more paperwork there. Yay. Last week me, Nakul, Nirmal (Nakul’s) bro and Ritu (my sister in law) went shopping in the market for some final wedding preparations. They had already got my wedding sari, red, green and gold and my suit for the after party and the necklace, earring set, which are so gorgeous. We took the material in to the tailors to get fitted for the blouse to be made. Also we bought some wedding shoes for me and some other small details like henna and decorations, bindis, kerchiefs and things. Oh and rings we got too. It was really hard to choose what i liked when asked because i have no experience in such things and its all so outside of my fashion sense. I don’t know what looks good, i mean, the ring was pretty easy to choose, but like... choosing necklaces and shoes??? I had a lot of help with those things. Our families went river rafting on ma Ganga (the Ganges). I always thought that must be sacrilegious here but it’s really really popular and they get around it by chanting and hailing ma Ganga while rafting, so i suppose the god’s are ok with it. Well, its late, i gotta get to bed.

6am yoga

Left 6am yoga this morning in complete bliss. My teacher does not disappoint. Just show up and let go. Reminded me how.... we don't come to yoga class to achieve the crazy and wildest poses. Though that's cool. We come for liberation. Our goal is to touch our true essence, our pure natural state, and that is one of bliss, anand. I am reminded this in class. Our focus is not on performing feats of the physical. In the west I remember that we are way obsessed with the physicality of yoga, to the detriment of the deeper parts of yoga available to us. Today we chanted, we breathed, we slowed everything down, "advanced yoga" my teacher calls it. In life we speed around, we move so fast, our intellect engaged. When we slow down, we switch the mind off, something else takes over he tells us. So turn off the mind, find your breath, slow down. As we basically did gentle yoga with breath, with exaggerated slowness, I snuck my eyes open and peaked around the room. I was wondering.... "what do some of these yoginis think right now?". It is the 500hr teacher training going on, so 36 of the 60 some odd people in the room were in the training and had been there only a week, exposed to my teacher's rather un-western approach to yoga. I wondered if they thought "what are we DOING? this is not yoga! This is like... so beginner yoga, I am not getting a good stretch on, i am not getting a good "work-out" in". I wondered if some of them would leave after the 4 weeks with a physical practice that was more rusty than when they came and wondering if they would pick up on the "other" that was being offered up instead. :) It IS so hard to put these things into words, but when I am there, I am reminded of it and it is so tangible, you feel it can be touched.

phuket

Good morning.
Writing from the roof. Its still cool but its gonna reach up to a sweaty sticky 34 here today. Its early morning but i am so excited, i had to jump out of bed at 7 and take my laptop up to the rooftop pool to write so i could sit and look out at the Andaman Sea over there for the last time. Soaking up the last little bit before we fly home tomorrow.
We are staying in one of the newest luxury hotels in Phuket. It is easily a hundred dollar a night room ($150 plus taxes in Canada) but because it is some sort of a “soft opening”, we somehow lucked out and booked it online at a deal of $24 Canadian, (paid in Indian rupees), taxes, breakfast and welcome drink IN! Which is pretty much one of the juiciest deals i’ve ever scooped up online. This is only one of the many reasons i enjoy travel.
So ya, both Nakul and I are in culture shock. I had my first bath in a true bathtub in 3 months, and he had his first bath in a true bath tub ... in his whole life. We jumped on the bed, we danced around, we turned on all the lights and the a/c, fired up the free wi-fi, turned on the t.v. and ordered room service. Nothing like roughing it for a few weeks to make you appreciate the good things.
Everything is virtually new in the room. I have stayed in luxury hotels before but this one is luxury “modern”, so it has the full granite bathroom and rain shower and 700 mirrors and sliding doors that open up to the bedroom, a setee, a flat screen and super wicked high tech mood lighting (even inside the closet!!). Its all very exciting to us. Its our last two days together until god knows when next and we have just come from a very modest grass beach hut that we shared with a variety of critters and bugs, with dogs and cats adopting us and sleeping on our front porch, with holes between the wooden slat floor boards beside the bed, with one very well broke-in mosquito next (which thankfully was still effective), a bucket flush toilet, and no hot water (not needed). But we were dry and mosquito free (inside the net) and had some wonderful sleeps listening to the birds and waves. It was all so we could enjoy to the fullest the nature around us there and be right on the beach and in the water for the maximum amount of time. No one needs luxury when you are ON the beach.
And now we are here, feeling like fat cats and quite proud of ourselves for staying here for next to nothing at all. I suspect i won’t venture far from the pool or the room today. I have no urge to mix with the riff raff of Patong beach where we are located. Patong beach is supposed to be the riff raff capital of Thailand (after Pattaya and Bangkok).
My intention is simply to rest and enjoy. Nakul is adjusting amazingly well and appears to be like someone who has lived with luxury like this all his life and takes it all in stride. One would never know what a modest background he comes from. It’s quite charming. We have fun with everyone everywhere we go.

Koh Lipe

It’s the hot season in Thailand right now. The hot season right before the rainy season begins proper in a month. So that means its around ... i dunno... 34 in the day perhaps? Which doesn’t feel all that hot, but its the humidity sometimes, when there is no breeze, that makes it so sticky. But the cool sea is never more than 5 steps away at any given time, so it’s really a non-issue.
We have a fan and a mosquito net in our room so its more than sufficient and comfortable. I love sleeping in the tropics with the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves softly lapping at night like a lullaby. Ya, our room is basic beach hut bungalow chic. Replete with a toilet with no flush. You use a couple scoops of water of course to wash it all down. I don’t think it ever was a flushing toilet. I think it was meant this way from day one. No problem. Not a one.
The island is no bigger than 2km from any given walking point to another. I am glad we have two weeks here because it has taken us a whole week to get our island legs. But we are fully and completely chilled out now. Everything is flowing. The pure simplicity of waking 20 feet from a crystal clear warm sea with blue horizons, white sands and palms is enough to transform anyone, even the hardened city person or stress case. Slowly surely, every tense muscle in your body starts to release, every ache and pain begins to ease until you realize you are waking in total comfortable bliss every morning. Sand between the toes becomes addictive.
We have pets too. One lovely dog who adopted us on the first day we arrived. Claiming us as her own. She protected and accompanied us for 3 full days before we even began feeding her. Now that’s loyalty. We have named her gypsy. Oh, and here she comes now. Gypsy is beautiful, with dark soulful eyes and a golden coat. Her face wrinkles up when she looks at you. She has a great big black scar where the fur doesn’t grow all the way from her left ribcage across her shoulder and back to the right ribcage. Looks like maybe she got tangled up in a barbed wire fence or something, i’m not sure. She is super intelligent and likes to chase crabs on the beach for fun. She also likes to hunt in tandem so if you point her out a hermit crab hole to dig, she will oblige you on demand. She must be accident prone because yesterday she stubbed her toe, (or got in a fight with a cat) and has the pad on one back foot ripped open and a long gash on her ankle. So she is hopping around on three legs everywhere, even though we tell her to stay at home and rest, she won’t sit still long. I figure it is a minor scratch compared to what she has already lived through. She is always hungry so we bring her scraps from our table. We also feed a whole family of cats that hangs out here.
I can’t come online much. The internet is on the other side of the island. It costs about $6CAD per hour. (In Rishikesh its about 50cents an hour). So one could say it’s a “little” expensive here.
We went kayaking and snorkelling. It was amazing. The water is the clearest and most amazing I have ever seen in the world. We took loads of pictures and videos, but due to aforementioned internet situation I will wait until i return to Canada before posting them. Perhaps put a few on facebook.
Grandma passed away the night before we left India. So that morning i dealt with that as well as having to say goodbye to the whole of Nakul’s family until god knows when next.
Life goes on.....

island news...

Burnt knees, sand in the bed, it rained all night.
Beachfront bungalow, no shoes, total freedom.
I’ve wanted to write so much over the past 4 days since we got to Thailand but my computer is never close by, let alone the internet, not to mention I am pretty caught up in the moment to stop and go hunting for pen and paper.
So let’s see if i can synopsize.
Arrived on Koh Lipe yesterday afternoon. The Journey from India to Koh Lipe. First when we got off the plane in Phuket airport in southern Thailand, we de-planed with hundreds of other sun and fun seekers from all parts of the globe. The Thais, being an efficient and motivated bunch, started marking us with stickers then, to help sort us and let us know where we are going or which company we belong to. I am not sure if this is to assist us in the case we get so drunk we forget where we belong or if we are just so stupid that we can’t figure it out along the way. Regardless, it is a nifty way to keep everyone organized. Thoughtful, even if you sometimes feel like you are in kindergarten and have just had your name tag pinned to your shirt.
Anyhow, as i was saying, us and hundreds of others in Phuket. We are beyond delirious when we reach Phuket in the sunshine at 10am. We have been awake for over 36 hours at this point and the effect is not becoming on either of us. Disregarding that, we steel ourselves and exit the airport, finding a car to take us to the pier. On the pier we board a ferry that seems clearly meant to handle about only half the passengers we currently have on board. All of us bound for the island of Koh Phi Phi. Phi Phi has for many years been famous for the beach that was used to film the movie “The Beach”. It is called Maya Beach here, and it is found on the island just next to Phi Phi. So here we were, headed off with oh... about 100-150 other revellers to find our little piece of paradise, hopefully.
Arrived on Phi Phi at around 3:30 in the afternoon. Neither of us were ourselves by that time, so sleep deprived and disoriented we were. We stumbled, i mean disembarked onto a palm lined bay full of shops and bungalow touts. Looking like we knew where we were going, obviously, we bee-lined straight ahead, no clue where we were going. Too tired to think, too tired to walk, i started wondering “whose idea was this? To wait a full day in Delhi airport for a couple of night flights to Thailand, to not stop there but to continue by ferry to an island in the middle of the Andaman Sea. I’m sure Nakul was having similar doubts by then as well as both of us were past having the energy to speak for non-essential purposes.
We settled on a budget breaking room for comfort and sanity and decided to stay two nights, in an effort to regain aforementioned sanity.
Phi Phi was fun. It’s a party town. So its good for that. Great beaches. Our hotel had the coolest pool I’ve ever been to. An infinity pool with a swim up bar which pretty much swallowed us up for the entire day. The pool looks out over a picture perfect beach. We lounged until we started to grow scales.
Phi phi has cats. Everywhere, cats, so cute. It’s laid back there, I mean, there’s a million restaurants and shops and the nightlife is awesome. Our second night we went to this Italian joint with tables right on the beach. I delighted in the fact that our caprese salad and tiramisu were as authentic as you would get on the coast of Sicily. Clearly starved for such things, Nakul laughed.
After dinner we took in the beach nightlife. Phi phi has the best fire shows in the world. Better than Goa, the bars here compete to attract customers by having the best fire shows on the strip, so you can look down the full length of the beach and see about 20 flames going on a time. And not just fire spinners, although of those there are plenty who are talented, but also flame blowers and flame throwers shooting flames a hundred feet up in the air, not to mention the flaming giant skipping rope built for two and the line ups of silly drunk tourists waiting to test their jump roping skills. The Thais at each end holding the rope turn it faster and faster until the jumper or jumpers in the middle can’t keep up anymore and get a clothesline of fire on the ankle or in the face or in the crotch. Great entertainment.
We even found one dj spinning drum and bass, we hung out there and danced for a bit before moving on to the place that was really going off for the night, the place with the biggest crowd to sit back and enjoy the show.
The next morning after a brief swim and a breakfast we headed off for the ferry to Koh Lanta on our way to Lipe. This ferry had fewer people than the day before, yet still quite a large group. Slowly we are getting away from the crowds. On Lanta we change to a speed boat and now we are only 2 of 24 on our way to the southern islands. We drop some others off at islands on our way and by the time we reach Lipe we are about 12. We get off at an offshore floating pier used to transfer to local long tails. Here we find that all passengers except for us climb in to one long tail to take them to the biggest beach called Pattaya. We climb into the next long tail boat alone, just the two of us and our driver as we take off around the island to the other side to Sunset Beach.
We laugh at how we started off in a huge crowd getting off the plane in Phuket. Ferry to Phi Phi so many people, to Lanta less, then the speed boat even fewer, until finally we are here, and we are the only two people in the boat taking us to where we are going.
At Sunset Beach we are greeted, not by bungalow touts but by a quiet white sand beach, some shade, a couple of dogs lazing around, and 2 or 3 people sitting and looking at the sea. That’s it. We jump out of the boat into the water and walk ashore and just sit down in the shade for a moment before looking for a place to stay.
Turns out there is a nice row of cheap and decent beach bungalows right there, we chose one and moved in. Its simple, very much so, but we have everything we need here. The island is small so from here we can explore everything we need to. There is some of the best snorkelling on the island right off the beach in front of our bungalow. We picked up some masks and snorkels in Phi Phi so we are ready to go.
Last night dinner of Pad Thai had giant shrimp that were definitely caught fresh that day and Fried Rice with chicken that had Nakul feeling like he never left home. So we are in good hands.

transit talk

Mmmm, Delhi. Indira Gandhi International: 10.5hr layover.
Hmmmm.
Flight from our local airport, Jolly Grant, to Delhi was uneventful if a little late. Air India flight 4820. Bumpy and a little reckless but at least we were wreckless AND free snacks: peanuts, water and mango juice.
Leaving security at Jolly Grant airport I got pulled over after my bag went through security. It seems that one rather large jar of aum ka achar (India mango pickles) was causing a stir behind the desk. Hmmm, what to do? Hmmm, finally it is allowed for madam to retain the pickles under question. Very high security there at Jolly Grant, very thorough. They just about saw through my pickle smuggling ring. But alas, me and my pickles made it through. Dangerous item those Indian pickles. Very high security item.
Our flight was late. The boarding and departure time came and went without a word from the P.A. and we, along with a whole team of orange shirted cricketers from Malaysia were left waiting, bored and feeling stranded.
I finally went to ask someone official looking for the 411. I approached two such individuals and the conversation went something like this:
Me: “Yes, I’d like to inquire about this flight?” showing them my boarding pass.
Them: “This flight is delayed madam”
Me, smiling uncontrollably at the obviousness of the previous statement: “hee hee, clearly. What i mean is... do you have any information as to when this flight MIGHT be departing”.
Them: “This flight is 30 minutes late madame”
Me: “Thank you, thank you so much”.

I love these bright little interactions in India.
Nakul and I got some strange looks travelling together in Jolly Grant, but now that we are safely ensconced in Delhi, no one really cares and we are starting to feel free.
Will write soon.
6 more hours of waiting to go......

Sari

Just got finished playing "dress up" with Ritu, with me as the doll. haha.
We both got all done up in saris and full jewellry and make up and took pictures and went for a walk in the village.
It was a HOOT! all eyes were turned on us.
So fun! pictures will come later.
Now for some last minute packing and business, then dinner, then sleep, then the airplane....

Last day

I think last night i started dreaming about water.
Its that feeling you get when you stand or sit in the cool shade on the shore and look out to a vast expansive of blue water as far as the eye can see. I can think of nothing more relaxing and restful.
Its March 25th, Sunday and our last day in India. Tomorrow we will go to the airport and fly a tiny plane to Delhi where we will enjoy a 10 hour lay over before our flight for Thailand.
The last couple days have been filled with gathering our stuffs together and assembling gifts and having small farewell parties. Today all is left is to pack, clean our room and then go.
Feels strange kinda.
I feel like I have two lives.
Trying to explain to Gunnu of 13yrs why I have to leave. He just doesn't get it. "You can stay HERE and teach yoga!". The only thing that makes sense to him is when I tell him I have to go home and take care of my family. THAT he understands. So that is what i go with.
Leaving here is bittersweet. I am happy to see my family and friends in Canada. I MISS home, i MISS them, I want to see my grandma, and it will be nice to be back in comfortable old Canada. Living in India is strange. It is sometimes so challenging and sometimes so taxing and asks more of you than you think you have to give at times. And then... and then... it turns around and rewards you for your efforts with a depth and warmth and generosity that I haven't found anywhere else in the world. It turns around and busts open your heart and makes you feel such profound joy and love, you didn't even know you were capable of feeling. So the challenges and diffuculties are great, but the rewards are palpable. That is why it is bittersweet.
I have a family in Canada, but now I have a family here. A family that I have laughed with and shared with and who now is going to miss me as much as I miss them. I didn't expect this. But you can't be in two places at once. All I can do is give my best wherever I am at any given moment because I can't clone myself (yet).
I have a feeling that for all the effort and growing pains I went through while I was here, and adapting and adjusting to a different way of life, i feel that it won't be until I leave here and go home that I will realize the true gift that these people have given me.
My love to all of Nakul's family who have welcomed me, accepted me and cared for me as one of their own. I will miss you all more than you know.

trippin'

Damn I make good chai. Really good chai. Mmm.
So... Life is a trippy ride, isn’t it? We all get put on this earth and we wander around, hither and thither, pursuing this, pursuing that, accomplishing this, acquiring that and then.... and then....
And then.
As i sit here overlooking Ma Ganga, the great sacred river of India that millions of Hindus revere, i ponder.
Weather has changed. Totally. It is now officially warm. Afternoons reaching 29-30.

5 more days and then the scenery totally changes.
Is it time to get excited now?
One lifetime, so many excitements, so many disappointments and so many heart breaks.
From what I hear, Grandma is recovering, it sounds like. Doesn’t at all surprise me that she doesn’t figure she is done with this living thing yet.
And me, i am getting poised and ready to fly again. to take flight, to step off another cliff. My favourite places are the in between places; the zones between one place and another, separating one set of activities from another.
I dunno, i like the variety i guess; the unexpected. Some people dislike the unknown and have a hatred for change. I guess i’m quite the opposite.
Well, ya. So, in 5 days so much will change. All that i have adapted to and become accustomed to over the past 3 months will all completely change.
I have to say I have clearly let go into life here. So much so that I rarely have days of feeling out of place anymore. I feel totally at home compared to 2 months ago when I was having so many issues “fitting in”.
I realized over that time that... it was not the situation itself, or the people, who were MORE than welcoming, understanding and accepting of me, but it was my perception, of everything, that i made it so hard on myself.
Life is a trippy ride.
I think today we are going river rafting. That’s the plan.

making more money in India

Hey!
did my first paid massage yesterday.
Nakul does ayurvedic massage and occasionally gets a female client who would prefer a female massage therapist. So I volunteered. What the hey.
I was a little uncertain at first, about committing to that but decided to dive in.
We had two friends last night come, Australians, one boy and one girl, looking for a massage at the same time.
We only have one room, so we decided that we would partition the room into 2 using saris. It worked fabulously and i have to say it was fun giving two massages at the same time in the same space.
It was very personally rewarding as well. Satisfying to just give loving touch to another human being on this planet.
Afterwards when we went outside to let them get dressed, i could overhear her telling her friend that that was the best hour of her life and a hundred times better than the last two massages she had. It was so so cool. I was on a high for about an hour afterwards.
Sure, it only pays $8 an hour (which, by the way, is about 4 times what the average Indian earns for a full day of work somewhere else) but i wasn't doing it for the money.
Hmmmm. Interesting, very interesting.

grandma

Its one week until we leave for Thailand.

Its bittersweet now because I just received news that my grandma is in the hospital and not doing well. To say we are close is a huge understatement. So my excitement about Thailand is hampered by my wish to be beside her. But I realize that our bodies... are temporary. It is nature's way. I realize that... I spent as much time as I could with her while she was healthy. We had many good times together. Well, words can't really describe the connection that she and I had. So, I feel ok, in some sense. I know I took advantage of knowing her to the fullest. I never had anyone this close to me die before, so the necessary letting go process is underway. Remembering the shortness and sweetness of life. Thank you grandma, for all you shared, for all you taught me and gave, for all the love and unconditional acceptance support, understanding, guidance and wisdom you gave me over the years. You are my heroine.

I earned my first rupees!

Hey! I earned my first rupees in India EVER today. Haha! Isn't that fun? Sure, its the equivalent of about $4CAD, but its kind of exciting nonetheless. Isn't it? Don't tell revenue Canada. Hahaha.

This morning I taught yoga to two Spaniards from Madrid. We had a lovely class. They were lovely students. Good breathers. Felt nice to teach again. Teaching yoga holds a special place in my heart. It is such a mind, body, everything experience and teaching this morning totally altered my outlook and my energy field this morning. I realize what a healthy "job" it is for me. Just to show up a few times a week and sit cross legged on the floor and breathe with people, and just the little bit of stretching and moving that I do in the process of teaching a class is so therapeutic for my own health and well being. So fun.

So, Nakul and I are enjoying getting ready for Thailand. He officially "banned" me from the computer last night after I spent probably 10 or 12 hours over the past 2 days online reading and researching where we could go in Thailand. I had given myself a migraine basically because I couldn't pull myself away from the screen flickering images of pale blue water and white sand. I am absolutely hooked and mesmerized by the images I see and by all the information out there. I have been wading through trying to decide the best route for our needs. You know, the challenging part is that... you have to really watch the dates on some of the info out there. Someone might write that an island is this or that and so perfect and pristine... in 2008, and then you can think "great! lets go THERE!", only to continue reading and discover that if you watch the dates of posts, people are getting increasingly disenchanted with that island as it now suffers from extreme over-development, overtaxing of the infrastructure, improper waste disposal systems and noise pollution. So now your idyllic island is over run with tourists AND... well, not fit for consumption.

I make no qualms about being a consumer of islands. Clearly we are, us tourists, us travellers, "consumers". We come to a country, to a place like Thailand, with our currency and we spend and demand amenities and leave our trash behind, then we complain that that island is now "ruined". Who ruined it? We did. We are responsible. I know this. I am aware of this. The fault is not so much that of the local people, they are just making a living off the tourism dollar that is being greedily thrust at them. Who WOULDN'T take advantage of that money being waved in your face.

But there are some islands where tourism has more recently moved in where the local inhabitants are consciously creating the kind of "destination" they want to present to the world. They are thinking about sustainability and balance now, after seeing the senseless destruction of neighboring islands in the name development.
I can't stick my head in the sand about this issue. It became clear to me on my first trip to Thailand about 10 years ago when I saw the resentment and near hatred the Thai people in places like party island Ko Phangan had for the european and american tourists who seemed to show no respect for the local culture or customs. It was sad to see this relationship. Sure, the Thais will take your dollars, your pounds, your Euros, happily, but they don't have to smile while they do it. They do it almost without even acknowledging your existence. They do it with distaste and a smirk of disgust at the beer-swilling, bikini clad crew.


So, the hunt for the perfect island on the Thai Andaman coast consists of trying to balance peace, tranquility, natural beauty, relatively few people and environmentally responsible practices with sufficient amenities (restaurants, massages), cheap beachfront bungalows and some sort of vibe and things to do like... renting a scooter or kayaking and snorkelling.
So that is why I have been glued to my computer for two days, giving myself a headache and painful burning eyes as I excitedly pour over every website on the subject and look into dozens of island possibilities. That is why Nakul has temporarily banned me from the screen. And that is why i have snuck out to an internet cafe today. already i can feel my eyes complaining. its not good. i really should listen to him sometimes. hee hee.

I am excited to travel with Nakul outside of India. What a fun adventure.

so we are having fun getting everything ready. Today we went and got little mini photos taken for his "visa on arrival" in Thailand. Travelling to Thailand will look good on his visa application for Canada. Not only does it show that he has the ability and the means to travel out of India, but it also shows that he will return to India, which is the big concern of countries like Canada, that if they grant a tourist visa, that the person will just stay in Canada and not return. So our job is to prove to them that he has reason to return, work and obligations to return to, and that he has left India already before and returned so... this is all part of the grand plan. (Plus we get 2 weeks on the beach, hee hee) . i am such a sucker for white sand and blue water. This is like a dream come true.
You can tell we are really excited.
Here are some of the places we are considering at the moment: you can "google image" them. koh phi phi, kho lipe, kho tarutao, kho yao noi.
check it out. hee hee.

oh man.
ya.
I did some calculations... and I must be TRULY mad.
After we leave Thailand and fly back to Delhi, 6 hours later my flight then departs Delhi for Beijing, onward to Vancouver.

I did the math, the Thailand to Delhi flight is 11 hours including our plane change in Bangkok. The Delhi to Vancouver part is 21 hours including a wait time in Beijing airport. Add in 6 hours wait in Delhi and i will be officially in transit in airports or airplanes for about 38 hours straight! I must have lost my mind. Anyways. There are reasons that I had to do it that way. There was really no other option. So, i guess i just suck it up and get comfortable. I am gonna be a zombie by the time i get home. 38 hours travel. hahaha. That is hilarious!

To be honest, lately, I have been feeling so comfortable and so at home here, at last. I feel like all my rough edges have been sanded off with a diamond file and now i am a smooth river rock.

I have been really enjoying the puzzled expressions still of the people who come to our house inquiring about a room, or massage or yoga or what have you. The sight of a white woman, in an Indian home, totally at home, washing dishes, cooking, eating, living... well, it just seem to boggle them.

Yesterday I was at my ashram for a yoga class and I met up with my teacher's brother Parmoud. He told me to go upstairs and see his wife whom I met on my first time to India. So I did. I went up and saw her. We chatted. She asked me how long I had been in India and where I was staying, because she hadn't seen me at the ashram. So I told her I was staying with a family down by the bridge. Mmmm, she said, then after a few minutes she asked "what family?". I said I am staying with my boyfriend and his family in their house. Hmmmm, again, I can see the wheels turning for her as she looks at me. "He's Indian?" she says, "your boyfriend?". "Yes" I reply. Kind of giggling mischieviously to myself. I can't help it. I can see her trying to put this all together in her mind and its just not adding up for her. How could I be LIVING with my Indian boyfriend's family? How?
You see, it is common for a couple to live together in the man's families house. That is tradition here. But only after they are married. After marriage the woman comes and moves into the husband's family home. Usually. That is the way it has been done for ... ever. So that part is not the mind-boggler. But that we are not married, that we are UN-married, and doing this, living with his family, is a very UNusual thing. Very. In India, very unusual.
I thank my lucky stars every day. Nakul's family is SO supportive of us and open minded, it is a small miracle I give thanks for everyday, that they are so loving and supportive. Without that, none of this could or would have been possible. They have really shown their true colours.
So anyhow, I left my teacher's brother wife still trying to figure that one out and went down to yoga class.

I am just having fun with that. Might as well, right?
Its like... with the two spanish students this morning. Everyone is very curious about what I am doing, how long I am staying in India and all that. It is so unusual.

I feel that from my extended time living with people here that their unself-conscious ways are rubbing off on me. Everyone seems so at ease and comfortable in their own skins. And generous. I cannot even begin to describe the selflessness and thoughtfulness that I encounter every day here. Everyone shares everything openly and easily. There is no "mine" and "yours", i mean, there IS, but its not so... strictly defined, you know? Like... I might come home and find Manu wearing my house flip flops around the house. No problem. Someone needs a sweater? Just borrow one from someone else. Whatever people have, they will share it. Things are just things. Not possessions to be possessive about. Things are not meant to be accumulated and hoarded. They are just things.

Never will you meet a people more generous and warm hearted in the whole world. Always thinking about how their actions will make others feel. Always conscientious of making other feel happy and not left out. Just ask my mom. You can never outdo and Indian in generosity. If you give him 10 rupees, he will give you a hundred in return. So I am learning to share too. Its wonderful. It feels wonderful to let go of what you have or what you want for the happiness and pleasure of others. hee hee.

Thailand here we come

Ok, here's some exciting news: we are going to Thailand! hee hee. i know, its great isn't it. We are going for two weeks. To the Andaman coast. So excited. Eeeeeee! We leave on March 26th. We may be in places with only satellite internet in which case i may be offline for several days. yipeeee!!!

happy holi

Well, I realize I haven't been writing much. What to write about? My trips to the cows to feed them our leftovers? Life is pretty calm. I have calmed down too. Hee hee. Oh well, I can tell about Holi Festival. I will put up photos soon. I still don't understand the origings of the festival or why the colours or why it is a big free for all, an open invitation to soak anyone within reach. But I am starting to understand the feeling of it. It is a day (or 2 or 3) to be a totally a kid again, to have water fights, to get dirty, to just be completely silly with all your friends, your family, your neighbors and complete strangers you pass in the street.
This all might make no sense to anyone who has never lived through a Holi in India. Let me try to give a straight explanation. All it is is ... people buy either powdered colour, which looks like turmeric, it comes in any colour: pink, green, yellow, blue, and this powder can either be thrown on people, or you can scoop up handfuls and put it on their head, or rub it on their face and neck, arms, ears, whatever is exposed, while saying an affectionate "Happy Holi" to your victim. It really is quite sweet and endearing. It is done with the utmost affection and respect. Sometimes the kids mix the powder with water and create a liquid colour, which can get quite crazy and messy. But kids are crazy and messy so... its a fair trade. haha. Then sometimes people just through water. So, if you go out in the street, (or in our house you weren't even safe this year :) then you are fair game.
My first attack came on the day before big Holi, known as little Holi. I hadn't really thought it would be a problem, i wasnt really dressed in clothes for the occasion. i ran into a colour war in the middle of the road. clearly there was no getting through unscathed. I covered my head with my scarf as the man approached me with two handfuls of red colour, he dumped them on my head as he said an affectionate happy holi. i laughed. the festival is all about not taking yourself to seriously, its about laughing at yourself and letting yourself go to play.
on Big Holi, the main day, we had a big colour and water fight around our house and our neighbors house where nakul's cousins live. what a blast. So fun. Everyone was covered in colour, we were a mess. I will post pictures.

Holi Festival

Happy Holi everyone! It is Holi festival starting today. Today is small Holi, tomorrow is Big Holi. In other words... get ready to get totally plastered with colour. The streets are not safe. Already there are 4 foot tall terrorists roaming the streets. Rounding a corner unsuspecting you are very likely to fall into the line of fire and find yourself soaked, unexpectedly, with either water, or coloured water or dry colour dust. Ya. Party on. haha. and fireworks, don't forget the fireworks. Water balloons are big. Water balloons filled with water, or coloured water. Already the kids are getting ready. Manu, the little one, accidentally nailed a passerby today, a Western tourist. She and I were sitting on the steps in the front entry way while i was shelling peas. She was joking around with me like she was gonna break a water balloon on my leg. It was just a small one but i was still giving her a dirty look as a stern warning. So instead she decides to just randomly and blindly toss it over her shoulder, over the gate and into the street and there just happened to be a man passing at that exact moment, pushing a baby carriage no less. it totally nailed him. Surprised him, me and Manu so i shouted "Sorry! it was an accident. are you ok?" To which he yelled back over his shoulder, "um, ya, just a little wet". oops. like i told you, no one is safe on Holi. If you are in the street, you are fair game. So tomorrow during "big Holi" i am going to stay home and watch movies.

hi

well, hello there. Feels like i've been real scarce around these parts. Today i'm just feeling fine again after a couple days of being a bit under the weather. Nothing like being sick to make you feel so alive after its over.

The days are really heating up here. Soon it will be HOT HOT. let's see... what news do i have? i have about a month left here. so many mixed emotions about that. so happy and excited to go home and see family and friends, not so happy about leaving nakul behind. The plan is that he will get a visa and follow me one month later, but we don't know yet if this plan will happen until it does. So many things in India can go sideways and everyone just rolls with the punches. I realize that in Canada, I am used to getting what i want. Indeed, i think it is my god given right. Not so in India.

They are re-painting our house. The painters are there now. The house is new, as i mentioned before, and it was painted a lovely lemon yellow. yes. So... that was fine. But i guess the contractor left one part of the house to paint later, SIX MONTHS LATER, and then they couldn't get the colour to match. They lost the sample or what have you. So, the Dey's don't want their house painted two different shades of lemon yellow and its clearly noticeable, so the contractor has to repaint the whole house from top to bottom to match the new colour. crazy. So now we have painters napping outside our room on the roof on their lunch break. It is quite a sight to see them all laying about. Nakul says they are on their lunch break but i can't shake the feeling that .... well... my foreign cultural voice comes in and i hear myself saying with self-righteousness "in Canada, they would be fired".
I adapt by closing my door and my shades and refusing to hang any underthings out on my clothesline.

Today we had a customer coming looking for a massage. She is looking for a female massage therapist. So I may do some massage, if the demand is there. It is getting busier and busier in Rishikesh so business is bound to pick up. I explained that though i can DO massage, it will not be in the ayurvedic style. Most people wouldn't differentiate here, massage is massage. But i know from my own experience, when a place here says yes, yes they do Swedish massage and then they get you on the table and its really nothing even close to Swedish massage. Anyhow. We'll see what happens. Might be kinda fun.

Anyhow. No real new adventures to report today. Just more of the same. All my love to everyone. kisses.

Respect

Good morning all! Its a beautiful warm sunny day here. Blue skies, birds chirping. At night you can hear the sounds of peacocks. It is the most enchanting noise. Can you imagine... living in a place where... the older you get, the more respect people show you? Can you imagine that? Close your eyes and try. That is how it is here. Elders are revered. Same as in First Nations Native cultures of North American, same as in Japan. No one belittles them, disregards them or treats them like children. Sometimes I really wonder about our culture in the West. What are we thinking? I'm not saying that Indian culture is superior, (or sometimes some people might think i am saying Canadian culture is superior, when it comes to other things) but each culture has these really great qualities and features. In India, one of them is respecting your elders. Its a beautiful thing. It makes sense, people who have years more experience than you. I love to see the relationship between Nakul's mom (our elder) and the rest of the younger members of the family. So much dignity and so much respect. I hope I treat my mom the same way in the future. So anyways, with that, i am gonna have a hot shower and trot downstairs to see what kind of trouble i can get into. hee hee. Love to all!

yoga at 6am this morning... finally

Boy do things change. I went to my teacher's class this morning. Only three years ago i would not have missed one of his classes if I was anywhere within a 20 mile radius. Now, he has been in Rishikesh for a full month and today was the first time I got up at 5 to make it to his 6am class. Boy times change.
He didn't disappoint. Me and 50 other eager beavers sat and soaked up his kundalini class today, with a chakra focus. He doesn't always teach kundalini, but sometimes yes he does. So it was a LOT of chanting and breathing. Which was great. Think I loosened up some stuff.
The older the get, the more my feeling is that yoga is healthy science. All the mythology and mumbo jumbo associated perhaps serves a purpose for some. But when it comes down to it, it was a bunch of guys with lots of time on their hands and a LOT of curiousity about how the body systems work, energy, physical and otherwise. So really, all those trippy exercises you do: closing your right nostril and inhaling through your left, engaging mula bhanda and pulling energy up from the base of the body to the crown, tucking your chin to your check to create an energy lock and THEN folding forward into janushirsasana (i apologize deeply to you non-yogis out there to whom this mumbo jumbo for sure, please then just ignore) .... is merely just play, merely to create the desired affect of fine tuning up the body. Yes, i can feel it, i can feel it in places you would never DREAM of feeling that. Not in my hamstrings, not in my low back, not even in my lungs (although i CAN feel it in ALL those areas) what i notice, peculiarily is that this exercises is directly affecting this tweak i've had in my thoracic back. It is opening it up and nourishing it with fresh oxygenated blood and getting the flow back in the of energy and removing the blockages. I can FEEL this happening, this wonderful opening. So really it is just a science.
I am not sure if yogic techniques will bring "enlightenment" per se. They will bring altered states, for sure, increased sensitivity and sense of lightness, definately. But that unshakable state of constant pure joy of living? hmm, i'm not totally convinced. But it is sure a great way to take care of yourself.
Have a great day everyone!

more kitchen adventures...

I am sure that Ritu must be getting tired of having a non-Hindi speaker as her kitchen assistant. On the other hand, who could turn down a full time dishwasher? When there IS no actual electric dishwasher, a human one comes in MIGHTY useful. So maybe she is not so tired of me after all. Hee hee.
Adventures in the kitchen continue. This morning (before my shower, my yoga, AND my breakfast, but NOT before my chai) we cooked suji halva, which is a sweet dessert made from semolina, kind of like a pudding, and a whole shwackload of puri, which are like deep fried chapattis. I must have stood in front of that stove for the better part of an hour roasting the semolina in ghee, stirring constantly, and then melting the sugar, one small granule at a time. Ya, about 45 minutes i’d say. But i love halva, so i’m sure it will be worth it.
Then, after washing the dishes, i was put in charge of deep frying the puri while Ritu’s mom made them and rolled them out for me. After that was done, i accompanied Ritu on her rounds in the neighbourhood. We went house to house (4 houses) to give and get blessings from the children. We took the Prasad, the halva and puri, among other things and distributed it all. I was still in my pajamas. Aaah, the adventure and surprises of India never end.

Sewing?

Domestic goddesses look out! I just sewed a button on a child’s jeans! It’s not that i DON’T know how to do these things, i know how, i have just chosen not to for the past 38 years. That being said, I am having fun. Its hard work but i am having fun. It’s been 5 days I think since I’ve been “in charge” around here. My stint as Indian housewife, head chef and bottle washer, fort holder-downer is almost at an end. It’s been a lot of fun, very satisfying and i learned a lot. Not planning to do it for the rest of my life, mind you, but it’s a nice change of pace to be of service in this way. Its a nice change from what i normally do.

Bathing and braiding

Have you ever bathed a child before? Well, I’m sure most of you have. Shockingly, in my 38 years, it is something i have never done before.
I have never been a babysitter. I never did that as a job when i was a teenager. Maybe once, but the kid was already clean.
I am not a “kid” person. Never have been. Never gravitated towards them. Not the person who, when a baby comes in the room, runs to hold them. No, not me. I hang in the back and offer to make dinner. Haha.
Today I bathed my first child, and it was a revelation. What a primal experience, right up there with building a fire, swimming in the ocean or making love. It is something your ancestors have been doing for generations and nothing about it changes. Nothing.
At first when presented with the prospect of having to clean a child, i was daunted for sure. Why me? HAHAHA. Well, because no one else is home and she is too young to do it all herself and well... she’s dirty. Haha. Ya. So i can step up to the plate. Its just a little girl, how hard can it be.
She already knows the drill, she is 6 after all (or 8, i can’t remember. Not much emphasis is put on age around here. Nakul can’t remember if he is 27 or 28. Kind of echoes my own situation where for the first 30 years of my life my mom was constantly confirming with me: “were you born in ‘73 or ‘74?” Anyhow, i digress, as usual), so it was easy as pie. I just didn’t expect that strange sensation of... what to call it? Calm? Peace? I don’t know, it had a slightly different quality than that, I cannot name.
She gets out her clothes while i go next door with a bucket to get hot water that has already been boiled by Nakul’s cousin’s wife. It is almost exactly 10 steps from my kitchen door to their door, our houses are about 5 feet apart, separated by a low wall. (Power is out so the hot water geyser’s don’t work of course when that happens). Thank you Rupa for the hot water.
The water is scalding so she pours only a few precious cups into the bottom of my bucket. As I walk back over to our house and down the hall to the bathroom carrying this bucket I marvel at how little water is taken or used to have a bath around here. I believe most Indians can and DO bath in half a gallon pail full (excuse my non-metric measurements here) of water on a regular basis. Wow. Impressive. For me at least I have to pour one full bucket full to get satisfyingly clean. Another point worth noting here is that... I am becoming a convert to the bucket-style Indian bath. This involves pouring warm water over your body using a large cup with a handle. This can be done either sitting, standing or squatting, your preference. It just feels good. Sensual even. And it is environmentally more friendly in that it uses much less water than a shower. Of course sometimes i am too lazy to mix a nice bucket of water the right temperature and just have a shower instead. But slowly slowly I am noticing its not quite as satisfying as the bucket method.
Ok.
So, back to Manu...
She finds her clothes herself. I have our bucket of scalding hot water in the bathroom now and I am adding cold to get it to a nice temperature for her. She comes in in her underwear (again, Indian style, bathe in your underwear and you get the two-in-one effect of giving your underwear a pre-soak cleaning before washing them). I gently begin to pour warm water over her head. We leave the door open to the outside because the sun is pouring in beautifully onto her tiny body and as anyone knows, it is much preferable to bathe with the sun kissing your skin, than it is to bathe in the shade.
First we shampoo. That is fun. We both join forces to scrub her hair so four hands are at the task. She does her own feet, hands, arms, legs. She is very thorough. I help her with the hard to reach places like her back and assist with the pouring on of water. But basically she is self sufficient. The hair part was the only tricky part.
So then i scrub her dry. She dresses. And to show off this fresh and clean girl, we finish with two French braids in her hair. Done. One clean child ready to go. So cool.

Bathing and braiding

Have you ever bathed a child before? Well, I’m sure most of you have. Shockingly, in my 38 years, it is something i have never done before.
I have never been a babysitter. I never did that as a job when i was a teenager. Maybe once, but the kid was already clean.
I am not a “kid” person. Never have been. Never gravitated towards them. Not the person who, when a baby comes in the room, runs to hold them. No, not me. I hang in the back and offer to make dinner. Haha.
Today I bathed my first child, and it was a revelation. What a primal experience, right up there with building a fire, swimming in the ocean or making love. It is something your ancestors have been doing for generations and nothing about it changes. Nothing.
At first when presented with the prospect of having to clean a child, i was daunted for sure. Why me? HAHAHA. Well, because no one else is home and she is too young to do it all herself and well... she’s dirty. Haha. Ya. So i can step up to the plate. Its just a little girl, how hard can it be.
She already knows the drill, she is 6 after all (or 8, i can’t remember. Not much emphasis is put on age around here. Nakul can’t remember if he is 27 or 28. Kind of echoes my own situation where for the first 30 years of my life my mom was constantly confirming with me: “were you born in ‘73 or ‘74?” Anyhow, i digress, as usual), so it was easy as pie. I just didn’t expect that strange sensation of... what to call it? Calm? Peace? I don’t know, it had a slightly different quality than that, I cannot name.
She gets out her clothes while i go next door with a bucket to get hot water that has already been boiled by Nakul’s cousin’s wife. It is almost exactly 10 steps from my kitchen door to their door, our houses are about 5 feet apart, separated by a low wall. (Power is out so the hot water geyser’s don’t work of course when that happens). Thank you Rupa for the hot water.
The water is scalding so she pours only a few precious cups into the bottom of my bucket. As I walk back over to our house and down the hall to the bathroom carrying this bucket I marvel at how little water is taken or used to have a bath around here. I believe most Indians can and DO bath in half a gallon pail full (excuse my non-metric measurements here) of water on a regular basis. Wow. Impressive. For me at least I have to pour one full bucket full to get satisfyingly clean. Another point worth noting here is that... I am becoming a convert to the bucket-style Indian bath. This involves pouring warm water over your body using a large cup with a handle. This can be done either sitting, standing or squatting, your preference. It just feels good. Sensual even. And it is environmentally more friendly in that it uses much less water than a shower. Of course sometimes i am too lazy to mix a nice bucket of water the right temperature and just have a shower instead. But slowly slowly I am noticing its not quite as satisfying as the bucket method.
Ok.
So, back to Manu...
She finds her clothes herself. I have our bucket of scalding hot water in the bathroom now and I am adding cold to get it to a nice temperature for her. She comes in in her underwear (again, Indian style, bathe in your underwear and you get the two-in-one effect of giving your underwear a pre-soak cleaning before washing them). I gently begin to pour warm water over her head. We leave the door open to the outside because the sun is pouring in beautifully onto her tiny body and as anyone knows, it is much preferable to bathe with the sun kissing your skin, than it is to bathe in the shade.
First we shampoo. That is fun. We both join forces to scrub her hair so four hands are at the task. She does her own feet, hands, arms, legs. She is very thorough. I help her with the hard to reach places like her back and assist with the pouring on of water. But basically she is self sufficient. The hair part was the only tricky part.
So then i scrub her dry. She dresses. And to show off this fresh and clean girl, we finish with two French braids in her hair. Done. One clean child ready to go. So cool.

a unusual sight

They’re exotic, they’re hard to find.... having a white Indian housewife is the ultimate status symbol. Of course, most Indian men in their right minds wouldn’t even consider taking it on. My guy must either be crazy or really in the mood for adventure and challenge at every turn. Indian wives know how to cook properly, they understand your language, your mannerisms, all the unspoken cultural things and they will be able to raise your children with good Indian values.
I love to see the look on people’s faces the last couple days when they come to the gate and see me in my apron, a little masala splashed on my sweater, sweet smells of curry wafting from the kitchen as i poke my head out. There are no other adults on the premises, perhaps just a child or two to whom I am doling out cookies or telling to do their homework. Too funny. People just freeze when they see me, for a moment, unsure how to proceed, what language to speak. You can see their minds searching for an explanation, a box to fit this scenario into. Everything about me is Indian, my clothes... everything, except my language, my hair, skin and eye colour. It is probably even more unusual because even though our house is the newest in the neighbourhood, our neighbourhood is the oldest and most exclusively Indian in all of Laxman Jhula. It’s the last place you would expect to see a white woman in the kitchen really.
I think I mentioned before, this blog an Australian in Mumbai is writing called “Diary of a White Indian Housewife”. But i am laughing. She’s got NOTHING on me. White Indian housewife indeed. She is living in the big cosmopolitan city of Mumbai, where she can probably get things like... brie and well... cosmopolitans. Ha. Yes, she’s married to an Indian man, but they have no kids, she has a writing career, they don’t live with his family, they have their own house where she spends alone all day doing whatever she likes, writing, going for walks, no one relying on her for anything. Her husband is a dj. The only thing “housewifey” about her is that she has a house and she’s a wife, a cosmo-drinking, brie-eating wife. Out here I can’t even get a beer and a wedge of cheddar! Hahahahha. White Indian housewife indeed. (For another 3 days). Hee hee.

victory

Well, i’m back. Just a small triumph, one of life’s little miracles and surprises happened today. I was feeling a bit apprehensive and even a little scared of whether i could step up to the plate and fill the HUGE shoes of Ritu while she is gone. Could I take care of the kids? Could I cook food that they and the boys will eat? I was excited to try but a little trepidatious. I am cooking Indian food in an Indian kitchen for true blue Indians. Believe me, we are not in Kansas anymore and this is not grilled cheese and macaroni territory. Everything is not like it is in Canada, and even though I have been everyday watching and helping Ritu, there are so many subtle things that happen that... I didn’t even realize. How do i tell the coriander from the garam masala? How much tomato paste is right? What is the appropriate ratio of ginger to garlic to green chilli? And where the heck is the mango powder?? Oops and “watch out for the monkey Angie!” yells Nakul’s cousin’s wife from next door and sure enough, as i poke my head out the kitchen, there is a big nasty monkey peering around at me and seriously considering joining me in the kitchen for something to eat. I try to scare him off but he calls my bluff and fakes a lunge at me coupled with his best mean face, teeth bared. BAH! It works! He wins. I retreat, closing the kitchen door behind me. Rupa, her mom and I laugh but she advises me to keep my door closed if i don’t want company and she shakes an umbrella at the pest.
The kids are in school. I have 2-3 hours to prepare some vegetable, dahl and rice. Really I only need to make rice and dahl, i am told, and veg if you want, forget chapatti, just make rice. But I am not having it. I am going to make everything as close to how Ritu does it as I can. Why not? Its a challenge. I have already made chapatti three times in the last day and they turned out totally edible, so yay.
Now, i consider myself a fairly accomplished home chef back in Canada. I make good food. People always rave. I am confident there. Sushi, Mexican, Thai, Italian, Greek, you know, i figure i’m good. But here its another ball game, its cricket as compared to baseball. How do you get that chapatti to balloon up over the open flame? How do you get it to cook all the way through AND stay nice and soft AND come out nice and thin?
I think i must have put on a good show for aunti-ji as she sat in the sun about 20 feet away next door with a clear view inside my kitchen.
Nakul came home for lunch and we ate together. The food was good. I dare say as good as Ritu’s. This is really the first time I have had free range in the kitchen, all by myself, to cook Indian food and i realized that... there are some basic different things than cooking Indian at home in Canada. Our pots are different, the oil is different and i can’t find these skinny green chilis in Canada like the ones they have here. Who knows what other differences there are. Different flour... the list is probably long. So that is why my Indian food in Canada tastes so different from here.
But I DID learn one thing today while cooking. I am too scared to burn things. When cooking Indian food, it is important to get a good roast on the spices and on the tarka and on the vegetables. You have to let them brown really nicely to get the flavours to fully develop and i am always terrified of this. I am always scared to let it burn too much, but as it turns out... this is where the flavour comes from. Without that, the food can taste insipid, like something is missing, and no amount of adding ingredients can remedy this if you don’t give it a good roast in the pan.
But the true big triumph of the day that brought me such a great feeling of satisfaction was when the kids came home and i fed them. Manu, the little girl asked for seconds! Now listen. This is a girl who never eats. I mean, she is picky, and it’s hard to get her to eat. I have seen them bribe her with sugar to eat her dahl and rice. And here she was, not only was what i cooked good enough, she wanted seconds and i didn’t even have to bribe her! YAY! I did it!

hiatus

Sorry about the brief hiatus. At least i got some pictures posted. From Goa and from Ukhimath.
The trip up into the Himalaya was really incredible. You would think mountains are mountains. I mean, I have one of the greatest mountain ranges, the Rockies, in my own backyard. That’s why i can’t understand why the Himalayas are so different. They are still mountains but they LOOK different, they FEEL different...
We stayed in a little government run tourist guest house that had some little cabins on a ridge looking out over a valley and onto some snowy peaks. It was a relaxing and peaceful place.
It was a 6 hour harrowing car ride to get there, but it sure was better than the bus and share jeep i took the first time i came on this road. Sheer crumbling drop offs on one side and crumbling cliffs straight up the other side, sometime with overhanging rock, often the road is reduced to barely one “lane” of traffic due to poor road conditions and landslides. The strange thing is that you get used to it. At first it is pure terror but after awhile of being tired of being terrified you get lulled into an uncanny sense of trust in your driver and putting your life in god’s hands.
We visited an important temple there that houses the temple of the important Hindu site at Kedarnath in the winter, because Kedarnath is snow bound and cannot be reached in the winter months. So they move the statue to Ukhimath to winter it there so that pilgrims can still visit all year round.
Then we hiked up about an hour and a half from the village to a sweet water lake. It was a gorgeous hike on an old cobblestone path up into the snow. Along the way we met an old man who was also hiking up. Turns out he is a relative of our taxi driver who called him up to tell him we were making the hike. The man owns a canteen or a dabba up at the top and was coming up to cook for us. We didn’t ask for this of course, but it is quite a remote location and all we had with us was chips and nuts and water, so it was nice to learn that we would have a full hot meal at the top. That’s India for ya. One man hikes 1.5hours up a mountain to feed 4 people. That is his work for the day. And all this happens without us pre-arranging anything. And of course who would refuse a home cooked meal of traditional Garhwali mountain food at the top of a long hike into the hills? Perfect.
When we finally reached the top we were rewarded with a most god-like view. Snow, yes, a sweet water lake, yes, and then a full panorama of snow-capped peaks in the background. Not a soul was there, except for our guy and us. We had the place to ourselves to explore and roam. So of course we had chai, and then began to look around. Walked around the perimeter of the lake, built a couple snow men, had a few snowball fights, did some sliding... you know... typical Canadian stuff.
Lunch was unbelievable. Rice, mountain raised local spinach and the local delicacy called Chosi Bhat, which is sort of like a form of daal bhat (Indian lentil soup) but made with some other mountain grown thing(s) and very very delicious. All cooked over a real wood burning clay stove. So, so tasty, probably made even more so by the high elevation and stunning remote setting. We spent the whole day there before finally walking back down.
Ya, so it was fun.
We are back now at home. The rest of the family has gone on a trip now, and we are basically home alone for 5 days. Nakul’s cousin is here but he works all day, and the kids are at school until 2 or so. So we are in charge. Well, I am in charge, because Nakul is running the family shop while his brother is out of town.
Hope everyone at home is healthy and happy. Miss you all. All my love.

4 airports and a sense of humour

I'm back in Rishikesh at Nakul's home, safe and sound. Yesterday was a whirlwind tour of India's airports: Goa, Mumbai, Delhi and Dehradun, our home airport: the "Jolly Grant" it is called. gotta love that eh!

it was a long day full of long lines and packing and unpacking my laptop from my carry on everytime i went through a security gate. From Goa to Mumbai, Mumbai to Delhi, Delhi to Jolly Grant, no one flight was longer than 2hrs. So it was a whole lot of loading, unloading, transferring, etc. etc. and YES, my bag DID make it back with me, somehow, miraculously.

It was all an interesting study of human nature in airports, in India. I love watching people and I got lots of that in yesterday. I watched a security official pour the contents of an entire 40oz of Crown Royal into the trash disposal (don't ask me why or what infraction prompted him to do so) probably the ban on carrying on any fluid container more than 125ml. HAHA. So sad though. Then i proceeded to watch said trash receptable leak the entire 40oz onto the airport floor. I think his act was more a showy display than a really well thought out plan.

There were too many incidents throughout the day to name here. Its late and i'd like to go to bed. Goa was nice. Got a tan, but its also nice to be back in northern india where i feel more at home. Nakul met me at the airport with a car and when we got back to the house and walked up to the door, Ritu, Gunnu and Manu all spilled out into the street and surrounded me with hugs. So much love, going both ways. I was so happy to see them all and so happy to be back. Nothing like a little hiatus to put everything in perspective. I was lonely in Goa. No obligations, no responsibilities, no one to live for but myself.

Oh and just a heads up, we are going a little ways up into the Himalayas for 5 or 6 days, so i will be off the grid, so to speak. But promise to come home after that and post some pictures, finally :D love you all!!!

catamarans and coconuts

Perhaps i should clarify my last post. When the waiter said “everything is possible”, he was meaning yes, the kitchen is open and everything is open and you can have anything (everything) you want at this restaurant.

Tide is waaaaay out tonight. Way out.

Saw the same men turn out to pull that 20 foot sailboat in out of the surf this morning. Except it turns out it is a catamaran, i didn’t see that yesterday. But today they only had about 9 men instead of the 16 they had yesterday, and they couldn’t do it, they didn’t have enough man power to pull and push her in. So they anchored her to the shore while the tide continued out. That was this morning. Now, just a moment ago, I watched the whole performance again. This time they had TWELVE guys and a bunch of greased rolling sticks. They use these to place under the vessel so that it will roll easily across the beach. I guess unless you have 16 men, you need the help of greased poles. Anyhow. It is quite a performance to watch this mish mash of both westerners and foreigners, all men, convening to help this one guy get his boat safe above the high tide line before nightfall. Amazing human feats. And it’s cool to watch too, because they all get behind this boat, and once it starts to move, it seems to give the whole group a burst of morale and then they are all pushing and shoving as if their lives depend on it and the boat literally jumps to life and lurches forward. They get quite far with the momentum of 12 men and the help of greased poles before they have to reset the poles and do it all again. It’s amazing to watch and you can see the men feel quite powerful after accomplishing this task too. Makes me think about human potential, physical, mental and otherwise.

One more story: On my way to my meeting today I ran across a “road closure”. No, it wasn’t road construction, or an accident, no, nothing like that. There was one large palm frond laid across the road sideways to indicate a “road blockage” and several people on the other side onlooking. Then i see it. Coconuts. Many coconuts, falling out of the sky. There is a tree about... oh... i dunno, more than 100feet, perhaps 200feet, or at least 150 high, with someone in it, cutting down coconuts. They have shimmied up and are now sending coconuts down in rapid succession. Coconuts falling even a short distance have the ability to kill if you get hit on the head. Several people die every year in the state of Goa from getting hit on the head by a coconut. This goes on for several minutes and i am getting antsy because i don’t want to be late for the meeting. I start thinking of an alternative route. I see off the left side that i can sneak around and through a gate and shortcut over to the other side. I start making my way over there towards the wall and the gate when a woman stops me and starts yelling at me, she thinks i am going to walk right under the coconut thrower. In india i have learned not to make a ruckus if you can help it. I try to follow along, even if its just to make everyone happy. So i stop, to pacify her, because i fear if i continue she will continue to yell and might take chase and to be honest, i am already kind of afraid of her. So we are both stopped dead and standing there. Then it happens. One of the coconuts hits a high wire (or rather, a low wire) and i realize that both she and i are standing right under a power line about 5 feet above our heads. Well. We hear a ZAP and a sizzle and i see the line bounce in front of me and ... you never seen two people move faster in your LIFE! We hightailed it out of there. The ironic thing is if i had just snuck through and continued on my shortcut, i wouldn’t have been hanging out under this silly power line anyways. So we wait until he is finished and stand there and count my lucky stars, one, two... finally he shimmies down (barefoot of course) while his wife pops out and starts gathering up the fruit. Man. Crazy things that happen in India. Here we are, dropping coconuts on power lines.

full moon and deep thoughts

It’s windy here these days: full moon, dead-eels-on-the-beach weather. There were fireworks. Don’t know what the connection is. Just a bunch of random occurrences... strung together. Just like life.

WHY am i getting so philosophical here? I dunno, there just seems to be so little “rhyme or reason” to life. Very little cause and effect. Sometimes. And while i’m getting philosophical... why does it seem as i get older, life seems less magical. Why is that?

It’s the full moon. It draws me out to have dinner on the beach. Waves at my feet, moon overhead, sand ON the table and a candle as well.
The conversation goes something like this:

“Hello. Hello. Is the kitchen still open? Yes, have a seat. Thank you. What country you from? Canada. Everything is possible, everything is possible.”

Hey thanks, random Tibetan-looking restaurant guy. That is just what i needed to hear tonight. What a relief! (I don’t verbalize this of course, i keep it to myself, and no sarcasm by the way, i am NEVER sarcastic.)

To appreciate the sentiment "everything is possible" more completely, a little background is necessary. It is very, very, “kholaveri” common to hear the expression “anything is possible” (or the hindi version “sab kuch milega”) while travelling in India. Anything IS possible both metaphorically speaking and literally. An elephant could just... walk across your car or... you could pay someone a little extra to find and bring you some hard-to-procur item from somewhere, somehow, someone will know something. “Everything is possible” is a slightly more exciting version of the old standby. This is the first time i’ve heard it and i am glad to hear it tonight when the words fall like balm around my ears. SO philosophical this evening. Maybe i should just stick to sea eels and tide reports ;)

What IS that?

Standing on my balcony this morning, taking in the scene, i spot something washed up on the tide line. Looks like a fish. I watch as passersby pass by and I observe that no one, NOT ONE, can go past this thing without stopping and getting a good look at it. For awhile i watch their reactions. Its the same with everyone, they see it from a distance, they do a double take, then they move closer, everytime, for a more detailed inspection. Some take pictures. Then usually, after their curiousity is satisfied, after a certain time, they turn away kind of in disgust. I watch this over and over. And i watch two separate fathers with young children who won't let their kids go near it. What is so damn interesting about a dead fish washed up in the tide? And creating this ... rather unusual reaction from everybody? Finally I can't stand it anymore, i throw on some pants, lock my door and stroll out there in my bare feet to check it out for myself.

What it is is ... a moray eel, one guy says a leprachaun eel, but i am unsure about eel varieties. It's dead, for sure. But the thing is that... it has the most spell-binding pattern all over it. Like... psychadelic giraffe skin or something. It is simultaneously gruesome and gorgeous, not unlike life can be at times, no? Its no wonder we are mesmerized.

high tides and life with the ocean

"Bogging" yes, not blogging, is amazing. Check your "page views" in stats and you have one person following you from italy, one from israel, sweden...and about 5 other equally obscure places i've never been to and never had friends from. Well, i should never say never. You NEVER say never. Anyhow, daily it is revealed to me what an insidious and viral thing the internet can be.

So, on with life in goa:

The ocean did NOT look inviting today. Tides are high, full moon must be imminent. No, she has that look to her like... the top layer, the surface, is pulling back out, moving over the bottom layer, a riptide, and you can see this phenomenon continueing waaaay out to sea. Not a friendly swimming situation. I am grateful for my time spent amongst the surfers at Mal Pais in Costa Rica; they taught me many things about the ocean that have probably saved my life: how to duck dive, how to recognize, avoid and swim out of a riptide. Funny, no one else is in the ocean today either as i can see from surveying off my balcony.

Being near the ocean.... always makes me feel about 6 degrees saner. Isn’t it amazing that both the oceans AND the cycles of women are greatly affected by the gravitational pull of something as celestial as the moon. Wow. When i think about all that, it really makes me say wow!
Say.... have you ever googled the effects of the moon on ocean tides? I sort of remembered this from high school but... it was really fascinating to reread it. How it all works. Also LOVE the pictures of the Bay of Fundy at high and low tides. Bay of Fundy of course being the place in the world with the most extreme difference between high and low tides. Wow again.
I LOVE watching the tides. The oceans are such a living breathing organism. I love to see the changes day to day, like the sea has a personality, a mood, much like a woman.

There's more...

oh god there's more. He swims back. He gets the attention of a father and his small son of Indian decent and waves them to bring him his crutches. The father does this without faltering and the man leverages himself back up to standing. I am inspired and crying now. This man does what he CAN do and doesn't focus on what he CAN'T do, and by that... he can do a whole lot. Just like the rest of us.

Triumphs of the human spirit

Every day I watch a grey haired man on double crutches make his way out into the surf. His legs are shrivelled and atrofied from whichever disease has afflicted him. Once he reaches the water, he sits down. With his hands he scooches his way back into the sea, lifting his torso and setting himself down a few inches further. He repeatedly throws his cruches back into shallow water when they float back out to him until they get washed up permanently on the sand. I wonder if this well-skilled maneouver is something he can only do when the tide is coming in, rather than going out, otherwise his crutches might get washed out to sea. Abandoning and what looks like throwing his crutches away in disgust, he edges himself out, until the water frees him from gravity, and then i see him swim stronger and freer out to sea than ever. i cry. There he is now... a head bobbing in a glittering sun kissed ocean. Free as any fish or bird.

hmmm

Intercultural relationships require you to take VERY little for granted. I mean... everything is a discovery of sorts. Moment to moment.

Russian mafia at Goa

i think i just saw the Russian mafia order a bottle of "Old Monk" for breakfast. This not like "Old Spice", it will get you drunker.

Russian pop music and cooling off

My neighbours are great but i'm discovering i'm not a huge fan of Russian pop music.
There are two ways to come home each day from my meetings at Balanced View centre (www.balancedview.com): dodging scooters, motorbikes and other motorized vehicles honking loudly along shop-lined streets in the heat or rolling your pants up and splashing your feet in the cool water all the way home with soft ocean breezes blowing in your hair. Guess which route i take?

swimming

Ya, had to go for a swim. The heat would have it no other way. Amazes me how the ocean brings out the child. There is no feeling like it, her saltiness, the waves....

The salt water succeeds in cleaning out any residual allergens that may have been still lurking in my nasal and sinus passages.

There is something so sweet about walking out your front door barefoot, wearing only a sarong and a key tied to your bathing suit and walking into the sea; remembering my old trick to drop my sarong nearby a fellow sunbather who looks like she'll be there awhile so your items don't go "missing" while you are having a frolic in the sea.

bye bye power

And one more power outage... JUST for good measure.

Bacha, I'm GLAD you like the picture your brother took of me with my tongue hanging out. If you don't love me THIS way, you will love me NO way :*

wi fi

The wi-fi MAY be free but it is slower than molasses in january (in Canada, NOT Goa ;) ) Also, i turn into a pumpking after around 9:30pm when the cafe closes downstairs. no more wi-fi. :)

culture quibbles, bikinis etc. in Goa

Reggae streaming as i take in the beach parade that goes on daily below my balcony, there are so many random and totally disassociated thoughts that are passing through my mind today. Let's see if I can share a few musings....

First of all... weather. Why does it seem so much hotter yesterday and today than my first two days here? Could it be that my bones and muscles were literally "de-frosting" during my first couple of days here? Well, not LITERALLY, because the temp never drops below zero in Rishikesh, but i could SWEAR that the last couple of days have been sweatier than usual. Mmm, yes, just checked the weather online and it IS 34 today, rather than 30-31 the first couple days i was here, so ya, its hot. There is zero percent chance of rain over the next ten days. The surfers are out even though the waves are closing out, unlike two days ago when there was a decent sized nicely formed right that a couple guys were riding.
Anyhow,
Where to begin?
My skin has sloughed off an outer layer due to being in the tropics, which is quite lovely. I love this. I feel like a snake or an iguana, shedding a new skin. And my new skin is soft and glowing. How confused it must be, going from minus twenty ice and snow to plus 5 cool and windy to now plus 34 and sweaty.


Goa is a trip, as usual.

Every time i see a mother begging with a baby i wonder “why her and not me???” some lucky twist of fate? I just won the lottery and happened to be born into the circumstances that i did in a rich country like Canada? It could have been me. Some might say “karma”, what do YOU say? All smells are equal? Rich/poor, hungry/well fed....

I still can’t get used to the male Indian “sightseers” in Goa, for whom it is a recreation to come to the beach and see all the “loose” foreigners flaunting themselves in their bikinis and some topless Europeans unable to grasp the concept of a conservative culture like India’s. I can see both sides. As the Indian tourists stare, the blonde Scandinavian is thinking “well, its not my problem if he is perverted and twisted. I am comfortable in my body and have nothing to be ashamed of, its his own fault”. While the Indian thinks “well, if she wants to show it all and has no shame, then i am going to look, its her own fault”.

To put this in perspective for the variety of audiences who might be reading this post.... to a conservative traditional Indian man in India, a woman in a bikini would be akin to a North American seeing a woman go topless on the beach in public, and akin to a European seeing a totally nude woman on the beach in Europe, or perhaps even a public sex act. The truth is that for many Indian men, the women they see every day have their legs and shoulders covered. The same way us North Americans would expect women to cover their breasts in public in Canada or the U.S. All of this is subjective, of course. No one can judge based on culture alone.
Still, this dance disgusts me, and i am not sure if i am more disgusted by the Indian male tourist going out of his way to leer at the flesh on display or the foreign female tourist, seemingly oblivious to the customs and norms of the country that SHE is visiting. It’s just an unsavoury situation all around caused by vastly differing outlooks and cultures.

I am reading two things these days: both fascinating.
One is http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/about/
The other is a book called “the Hindi Bindi club” about second generation Indians living in the U.S. Both offer incredible insights into the cultural differences between India and abroad. My research continues.... I am completely fascinated by how each culture views eachother. I can see the wisdom and rational of BOTH sides, even though those ensconced in either side find it near to unfathomable to understand how the “other half” live. I think that that is what i find so fascinating about it. That it is all a matter of opinion, perspective, and upbringing. That means that anyone, almost regardless of colour or race, can be brought up in ANY culture and thus take on the belief system of said culture according to the ferocity that each society believes in their own system. So ... basically... nothing is fixed, as we sometimes come to believe that it is when we remain unexposed to different cultures, people and beliefs. When we ARE exposed to different cultures, people and beliefs we come to realize that... underneath it all, we are just human, no one way is “right” or “wrong”, we all want happiness, we all want love, we all want health and wellbeing for our families and prosperity.... it is basic to being human. My Jamaican Amazon sociology professor at Capilano College was right, right, right.

I realized today that i was incredibly STUPID not to bring Nakul with me on this trip. I don't know where my brain was at one that one. I don’t think i was thinking straight with all the allergies and cold symptoms i was experiencing ... i don’t think my brain was working. Anyhow, there is nothing i can do about it NOW but i look forward to seeing him again in ten days. We are planning a 5 day trip into the Himalayas if the roads are not closed due to heavy snow.
I miss my sweetheart. I can't help myself.

I'm still having one or two sneezing fits per day but the difference is that things are draining right out of me... I can feel my body shedding toxins thanks to the natural cleansing process of hot weather and sweating. My goal is to become so tired and fed up with hot weather and sweating that I will welcome the cool breezes of my home in Rishikesh once again.