sometimes the impractical is practical

This has all been a very self-indulgent process of weighing all the options. I hope when i am deep in the Himalayas the self-indulgence will cease.
In any case, a decision has been made. I am not altering my course in any way.
The Sivananda teacher training being full in October threw me into a full re-evaluation of why I am going, where, and when and how. Focusing on not panicking, i sat. I sat in the feeling of not knowing. I sat in the feeling of overwhelming and weighty decisions to be made. Unknowns and uncertaintities, each changing from day to day. I sat until it all became still. I felt introspective and like being alone was nurturing and restorative. A bear came to me, in a dream. Sure enough, when i looked it up, the bear is hibernating and introspective, messages from the Great Spirit.
I believe that in the stillness, the answer has distilled, trickled down its purity and truth.
For all my worries and concerns, thinking i wanted to save even more money to have MORE security, thinking maybe i should take the more conventional and practical route of spending my money on taking the professional yoga therapist training first before travelling to India...... i realized. Sometimes the impractical is "practical".
Things are changing. The old way, is coming to an end, I must let go into the new way without fear and have total faith, that all will be well. In this raging river, i must lean back in the water, floating and enjoy the ride. Trying to grab onto the shore or something solid will only drown me.
-river otter