school

well.
The busload of other teacher trainees arrived yesterday from Delhi, all wide eyed and jet lagged. Totally disoriented, no doubt, from the 15 hour flight and 12 time zone difference that has brought them here.

I am a bit torn between being excited to connect with them all and lamenting the loss of the tranquility that was permeating the ashram these last few days with only 5 or 6 guests staying in it.
Now our number is 30 plus and the meal time cacophany of conversation is overwhelming.
So i am torn:
be social or continue to journey inside myself. Perhaps I will strike a balance between these two.
I have learned over these last few months that so much wisdom and knowledge comes from within yourself when you can really be silent and observant. This is knowledge and wisdom that can never be gleaned from an outside source, from a conversation, a book, or a teacher. People can write about it and talk about it, but until you have the personal experience of it, the idea, concept or knowledge is only a superficial knowledge, not true knowledge or understanding. So obviously it is very valuable and a little bit rare and difficult to obtain because it requires such utter stillness and sensitivity. Our senses are so dulled by outer stimulus that we are numb. We are deaf and dumb to this inner wisdom most of the time. And indeed, we mostly lack the desire or patience to go looking for it.

"School" starts officially on Monday, and today is Friday so they have two days to acclimatize and get over their jetlag before the real work begins. I am excited to dig in.

So for today and tomorrow we will have our regular morning and evening yoga sessions, and three meals, tomorrow we will go on a hike to the waterfall, the one i HAVEN't been to yet, yay! and sunday is our day off, our free day, so that will be the last day for them all to shake out the cobwebs of jetlag and clear their heads.

For me it is kind of interesting to have already been in India for 5 months before this all begins. As well, I stayed one month in this very same ashram in September 2008, so it basically feels like home for me. But I've told you all that already.

But it is fun to watch it through their eyes, how everything must appear. How it all appeared to me when i first arrived, how strange and new everything was. I remember that first week when i was scared to go out in the street of the city and had to start in small doses, only an hour at a time. Amazing what you get accustomed to.

Now i see their disgust on their faces, the digust they try to hide with a mask of indifference, but i know they are shocked. Chetana, one of the main teachers and founders of the ashram, the Canadian, took us all on a "tour" of the area to show everyone where they can send email, where they can buy shampoo, books, etc.etc. and she took us through "the casbah" an area that is residential and pretty grungy. Its the shortcut from the shops to our ashram, but i'm not sure if I would take the fresh off the boat people through there. Not just because its a bit shocking how grimey and gritty it is, but also because it passes very closely through some people's back yards. Probably the people don't mind, being Indian, privacy is a non-issue here it seems, but it is a very intimate little alley, let's just put it that way.

I think they new trainees' stomachs wouldn't have turned so much if we hadn't been following a pack of work mules up the hill through the "casbah". (I call this area the casbah because of its winding streets, if you don't know the way you could easily take a wrong turn and get lost, just like the casbah, or market in Marrakech, Morocco. ) The work mules are stinkier, much stinkier than your average mule. Who knows if it is a result of overwork or poor treatment, or poor food, who knows, but they stink to high heaven. Those poor trainees. What an introduction.

I get the impression that Chetana likes to shock a bit, show them the real India, and I can understand that, it is a bit fun to take those uninitiated in the ways of Indian streets and initiate them. I can see how she could get off on that. Its a way of experiencing it all fresh and new again, like the first time, for someone for whom it has all become very "everyday".

So my roommate is from Vancouver. Stacey. And she just finished teaching English in Japan for 3 years, so I guess that is why Chetana bunked us together. There are alot of Canadians and many people from Vancouver in the training, but we are ALL women. All. Nary a man, except Vishwa, our teacher.
Stacey and I have a LOT in common, but we are pretty different too, as she is putting makeup and plucking eyebrows.... I have left off shaving my legs for ...oh... 3 months now. So we're pretty different. But essentially the same.

Everyone comes to the training for her own reasons.

As for me, my reasons are becoming clearer and clearer to me each day.

I feel this month is a landmark. And that i have been presented with the case that i have to go into it with a back issue to be aware of and nurture, rather than in perfect sound health where I can just go, go, go for it.... is causing me to have a different lens to look through in this process of learning to be a teacher. Its very interesting and illuminating and is teaching me alot. Alot.
I have got to run. The internet cafe i am in is having Nepal-esque power interruptions that are wreaking havoc on my writing and email.
Will write more as I can
love to all