the truth about temple day

Back at Moonpeak Espresso. Can't get enough of this place i guess. Its the jazz. Its the chocolate drizzle cake, its the cappucino, the people watching and the free wi-fi. haha. Can you tell its time for me to come home? haha

I am feeling so at home in India these days i don't even feel like i'm "travelling" anymore. Canada will seem more exotic by the time i get there. haha.
lots to laugh about.

So, winding down my last... 3 days in the Motherland. Then Beijing, then Vancouver.

I always look forward to being on the road, or in the sky, as the case may be. Its that feeling of being in between worlds. Timeless. Light. And the airports are these temporary autonomous zones where anything can happen, you can be anybody, from anywhere and there are people from all over the world converging together in these places, and it can be any time of day for them too. I don't know. I just find it...exciting.
Plus its the anticipation of arriving at your new destination where all routine is disrupted and again.... ANYTHING can happen, and usually does. I celebrate landing on my feet where ever i go, reinforcing my faith in the universe continuously.

Of course i am leaving behind some very special people here. That is always the problem with travelling. Of course you make friends, you fall in love, with whole families sometimes, and then you have to go home. Its ok. we will meet again. I am lucky that i meet such amazing people everywhere i go.

The cricket world cup finals game is today. India vs. Sri Lanka. I have snuck out to have a coffee and an internet session. Looking forward to returning to watch it.

Weather is coolish today, and partially cloudy. The air pressure always seems high here, so it is always energizing. Just like any mountain town, Whistler, Sun Peaks.
Perhaps it will rain our last night here.
Tomorrow we take the train to Delhi where it will be 33 degrees in the daytime. ouch. that's hot.
my plane leaves at a convenient 3am in the morning, as do all international incoming and outgoing flights. not sure why that is. i have never seen delhi airport in the day. oh, no, that's not true, i flew in domestic from Chennai in the afternoon once.

So I have washed the last of my laundry by hand. Funny how you get used to washing your clothes by hand and it doesn't even phase you after awhile. That said, i will be revelling in the luxury of a washing machine when i get home, for sure. To be honest though i did send out my laundry 2 or 3 times in rishikesh just when i was feeling too lazy to do it myself. costs about 2.50cad for a load.

the temples yesterday left us feeling tired and wiped out. So many people. It really was a cultural submersion for me, and even i felt challenged by the pressing crowds and noise and heat. But it was fascinating and an honour to be involved and included in such a sacred tradition as going to temple. The devotion and religious fervour felt by the masses is intense. Their belief so strong. It sweeps you up and washes you away. I followed along best I could. The first temple we visited we got out of the taxi and walked up this long hill and narrow pedestrian street lined with shops selling trinkets and treats to offer at temple. We passed people doing prostrations all the way to the temple. I had mistakenly thought that this was a strictly Buddhist practice but no, we saw two devout Hindus pressing their bodies all the way to the ground, arms outstretched in front, forehead touching earth and a friend or relative helping them by marking the line where their fingertips reached so that when they stood up again they lined their toes up with that line and laid down again, stretching fingers forward and in that manner, covering the distance between their starting point and the temple steps. Undoubtedly an arduous way to make your way, but this practice has been known for centuries as a spiritual purification process and an act of spiritual devotion.

We chose to walk on our own two feet but at one kiosk as we neared the temple we placed our sandals under the shop counter as no shoes are worn inside the temple complex. So we two, and everyone else, feet bare, made our way inside. Once inside there is a courtyard and then the temple is within this. At the door we touch the steps with fingertips of our right hands, then touched them to our heads, then our hearts; some bring their forehead to touch the temple steps in reverence and respect to the gods. In typical Indian fashion, security shuffles and shoves us inside until we are packed like sardines and he shuts the door behind us. locked in. We are in there with maybe 20 other people and space is tight. Nakul tells me to stick close. Ya, easy for you to say. As a Canadian I am not used to having anyone within 3 feet of me let alone pressed up against me on all sides. I manage to stay amongst women, so that at least it is women's bodies pressed against me and not men's, which i figure is good enough. Each person jostles to make their offering to the priest and receive their blessing. It is intense. I watch, I follow, I am last. After Nakul offers and receives and bows his head to the floor I am desirous to follow, but i have a split moment of indecision because I myself have nothing to offer so I think: "then should i bow my head and receive the blessing anyway? or what?". it all happens so fast and with my indecision, i miss my chance and am ushered on.
Next time, I decide, I am not going to be so wishy washy.

As many of you know, I follow no strict religious discipline. I am a chameleon and tend to the follow the advice "when in Rome...." so that leaves me a lot of creative and religious freedom to partake in whatever I like. Luckily Hinduism is a very open and forgiving faith. If you do, or if you don't, no one cares. Everyone is just there to do their thing, because they want to, and if you want to too, then great, but there is no pressure or expectation. So it makes it kind of fun.

But I soon realized that this whole temple excursion was really a whole other cultural experience. I mean, I've been blessed at ashrams, I've been to temple in Canada (woah, totally different experience by the way, huh Stephanie?) and i've even touched my forehead to marble in abeisance and respect (am i using that word right?)
but i have never experienced this group..... frenzy of devotion before.

I think the second temple we went to, a short car ride away later, was even more crazy.
Again, shoes off, we waited in a long line with many people. These temples are famous nationwide as pilgrimage destinations so whole families from all over India travel here to pray and receive blessing. As we approached the temples steps the energy was building. I was the only foreigner that i saw the whole day. It is one thing to be seen travelling with an Indian man, as Nakul and I were, but I always get a kick out of the once-over many Indian women give me. They check out my dress, from head to toe, and i am certain by the expression on their faces that they disapprove: "How can she go out in public looking like that, so plain, no gold, no jewelery, no makeup and that plain cotton kurta, ugh" (the type of long shirt i wear in India is not what Indian women traditionally wear). It was even worse when i wore running shoes. Gods forbid. But i am used to all this by now and take it all in stride. I only feel mildly uncomfortable with the fact that i am tagging along on this religious pilgrimmage when I am clearly not there for my own spiritual salvation. But no one judges. It is open.
So where was I, oh ya, so as we reach the temple steps the energy begins to build as each person is so eager to enter. The woman behind me has been persistently pushing into my back for the last 20 feet of the line. It annoys me only for a millisecond as my Canadian cultural conditioning kicks. But I relax and allow and the feeling just passes. I remember what i learned in Sociology 101 at Cap College that no countries ways or better or worse, only .... different, without judgment.
Outside musicians play religious hymns loudly and the temple bells ring out as each who passes underneath must reach up and ring them. There are several bells to be rung.
Finally it is our turn. Eager not to miss my opportunity, following Nakul i bow and press my third eye to the cool marble step. The feel of it is calming, reassuring, grounding. I leave my rupee at the door and step up, ring the bells and step inside.
Inside it is mayhem. This temple is famous for its fire. There is fire spontaneously emerging from different places in the rock. The temple has been built around this phenomenon. There are many stories of supernatural occurences explained away as work of the pantheon of gods. Again Nakul instructs to stick close. well, short of stapling myself to his backpack, i don't know how i am going to do that as people are consistently and determinedly prying themselves between us. i don't even bother to get close to the priest and instead, just try and focus on keeping some space between me and the male body behind me that is being crushed into mine. I find some space beside my friend, even though it is away from the central fire and happenings. I say a few quick prayers and then wait off to the side until he is through. I admire and respect his devotion. I find it endearing. Finally we exit. I breathe again.

There is one more place to visit here. A few steps away there is another room where a religiuos relic is held and a statue of one of the goddesses. In the room many people are seated and chanting and singing. We make our way to the front and it is the same story, more pushing, more shoving, and i fight against my own cultural mores and norms that scream at me to get out, get out fast.
The religious relic is an ancient brass umbrella, or some kind of metal umbrella and it is encased in glass around which everyone is gathered. I try to move in too but find myself getting swept into a flow of people going the other way. Without strength of my own to fight the human wave, i move with it for awhile before finally finding a hole where the riptide is less strong and i can swim parallel to the shore and make my way around back to Nakul.
I really considered bolting. I had a small moment of panic, of total overwhelm, because of the crowd, the intensity of their fervour, all the noise.... i suddenly felt incredibly clausterphobic and thought i needed to run outside, but i took a deep breath and just relaxed. i realized that this is humanity, this is all of beautiful humanity. These people are not different than you, and they are certainly not dangerous, these are just a bunch of friendly Hindus. Just relax. So funny.
So funny how those cultural.... prejudices and beliefs are just so there. Anything that is different or unfamiliar or unknown is deemed as bad, as dangerous, as a threat. When really it is just a matter of point of view.

It was fun to spend a day in that world. barefoot. walking the streets of india with no shoes, down narrow winding lanes. If you let go, it is really really delightful.

So that was that day. hmm, i didn't mean to talk about all that, but it really was so intense. it was like... you become one with all those people, and all those people who come to temple together, they have very little sense of separateness, of you vs. me, or us against them. The feeling of common humanity was heart warming. we are all one. The separation is truly an illusion.
and i must say, by the time i left the second temple i felt different. i felt.... lighter, i felt stronger, calmer, truer, somehow. something about bowing down to something greater than yourself. Giving up your sense of self importance just for a moment.
We spend all our days wondering how we are going to make a living, pay the rent, pay the bills, what we are going to retire on, how we are going to rearrange everything in our lives to be happier, healthier. and the truth is... all that rearranging and mental gymnastics is a total waste of time. It feels good and such a relief to let go of that once in awhile, that tension, that planning, that holding, that worrying. just for a moment.

peace and blessings to all of you.
loving you,
and seeing you very soon,
ang