torture by massage...

Ok here’s something new: torture by massage. That was... I was going to say.... one of the top 5 WORST massages ever that I ever received but now... when i think of it... i can think of only one other massage in my life that compared to the terribleness of the one i just had.
Thinking I would reward myself with a nice relaxing massage upon my arrival to Arambol, after i have been kinda sick for so long and fighting this cold... but the whole time i was on the table, i was wishing that i wasn’t. “How can a massage be THAT bad?” you ask? Well, let me explain, it was not unlike the feeling when you rub suntan oil all over your body, briskly and only to the end of evenly distributing a slick of oil across your skin surface, except someone ELSE is doing it, unlovingly, followed by about ten minutes of “noogy” to your head. At the end she hung around while i got dressed and asked me for a tip. (after wiping the copious excess of oil from my body, it was like an Exxon oil spill in there. I felt like one of those poor seals or water fowl soiled by the muck). I gave her a tip. I told her softly that that was one of the worst massage i ever had in my life and i don’t really feel like giving a tip. Her English did not allow her to comprehend this, so I added to be clear: “it was terrible”. I didn’t want to be cruel and i wouldn’t have said anything at all but... she kept asking me throughout the process if it was ok, if it was good, etc. To which i just nodded and mumbled something inaudible. But when she asked for a tip, i couldn’t help myself. Oops! :D