The Great Lost Luggage Caper of 2012

Great News! We have our first clue in The Great Lost Luggage Caper of 2012.
After repeated daily phone calls to the lost baggage department of Indira Ghandi International where the phone just rang and rang unanswered, finally someone picked up! Both Nakul and I just about jumped out of our pants when we heard the voice answer on the other end because we’ve been trying for days, at all hours, morning, noon and night. We had also phoned my airline, only to be told that the baggage claim number we had was the only one they could give us. Thanks a bunch.
I had just finished saying “i think i better get used to the idea of not getting my bag back” when the guy on the other end answered. The conversation went something like this:
“Hello?”
“Hello!!”
“Hello.”
“Yes, I have some lost luggage”
“what is your good name ma’am?”
“Angelina Edgson”
“I’m sorry? Your last name?”
“E D G S O N”
“one moment ma’am”
Waiting...... waiting......

“Yes, Angelina Edgson, baggage claim # CA 992469”
“yes, yes, thats right, what is happening?”
“well, your bag has arrived ma’am but customs needs to check it”
“aah, i see”
“customs problem”
“uhuh, customs problem”
“maybe you will have to pay some fee, the commissioner has to open your bag and see”
“uhuh”
“when are you coming?”
“coming where?”
“to delhi madame, when are you coming to delhi?”
“to delhi?? Well, i’m not coming to delhi actually”
Long pause....
“customs problem ma’am”
“yes, i know”
At which point i realize i don’t know how to solve this problem and i am having an extremely hard time understanding this man so i push the phone at Nakul and beg him to speak to the man in Hindi. He obliges. I listen to a long drawn out discussion using the words “commissioner” and “passport” and other such things while watching Nakul scribble notes in my notebook.
So this is the process by which we plan to get my bag back:
The assistant to the commissioner of baggage has suggested that since I am not in delhi and not keen on making the trip there anytime soon, that i pen a letter authorizing a friend in Delhi to come to the airport and act on my behalf on claiming my luggage and paying any necessary fees. I am to sign this letter and send it to Nakul’s cousin Amit in Delhi. Then Amit will go to the airport with my letter and two pieces of picture ID, giving them one day’s notice in advance of course. They will then open my stuffed-to-the-gills-bag in front of Amit and examine its contents. Based on this they will decide WHICH items are a “customs problem”, according to them. I am eager to hear, is it my homemade cookies or my used socks and underwear that you must charge a duty on. Please sirs, tell me.
So that is the kicker. Yes, i have gifts in my bag. Yes, some of them are NEW gifts. But that is allowable. In any place in the world I have travelled it is allowable to bring a few dollars worth of gifts into the country. It’s not like I am importing laptops and watches or some such thing. Man. Really testing my patience now people. And the really really ironic thing is that... even if i WAS selling any of the contents of my bag, new or used, i wouldn’t be able to get even a fraction of the price i paid for them in Canada and there are no cigarettes, there is no alcohol. Wow.
And so it seems i have been introduced to a new version of what i have come to call “the tourist tax”. The tourist tax is something i have stumbled across in my travels. They have it in Guatamala, in Costa Rica and yes, even Panama. It comes in the form of an opportunistic pick pocket in a bustling market or... more creatively, once it came in the form of a very enterprising young Panamanian “travelling” in Southern Costa Rica. His racket was a familiar one yet my scam radar failed to go off about him beforehand, warning me of the fraud. Befriend the tourists, gain their trust, share a room with them, then double back and clean them out while they are swimming at the local watering hole, re-locking the door and taking the key with him when he goes, leaving the 2 Swedes and one Canadian girl soaking in the sun and wondering what is taking their friend so long to return with the refreshments. Classic story. Classic mistake. I should have known, but my sixth sense was thrown off by the charming, amicable and infinitately trustworthy Swedes who convinced me to go in on a room with them and the Panamanian posing as a Tico so we could all save money. Tourist tax. We got the hotel owner to break down the door finally so we could inspect the damage. Not too bad. It was about the equivalent of $40cad. The Panamanian was kind of enough to rifle THROUGH my money belt, only taking cash, but leaving me my passport and traveller’s cheques. Thank you Pedro. You are not a COMPLETE douche bag.
So anyhow. ...There i go with the digressions. So now i have met my newest form of tourist tax, the Delhi lost baggage department at Indira Gandhi Airport. Ok, you guys win. What do i “owe”’ you. Can i have my shortbread now please?