raving

hi ho all!
i'm still here.
our training started yesterday, and it is going fabulously so far. so i'm glad we went through all the trouble to come this far south to take it. for those of you who are interested and haven't checked it out yet... its the real deal,... and the "easy" way, the effective way, the way that works (don't i sound like a preacher, haha)
go to www.balancedview.com and just start listening to the downloads. start with the basics for beginners (probably under media) or introductory training, and just take a listen. put it on your ipod and listen to it before you go to bed. its good for making you fall asleep, haha. see if it speaks to you at all. its just about taking short moments of awareness or clarity, throughout your day, whenever you remember to, repeated many time, becomes continuous. so simple, but this is the practice and through doing just this, we can come to rely on the power of our own natural clarity to find stability, satisfaction and relief in life from all the crazy ups and downs. It is based on the teachings of the ancient tibetans, but it has been modernized by the founder: candice o'denver, who started this non-porfit organization to share the teaching.
I am finding that it is helping my life to become so much easier and pleasurable.
You know those mornings when you wake up and all the things you need to do, all the things that are going on in your life, come crashing into your mind when you first wake up and become aware? and then sometimes you feel good, depending on what is happening, and sometimes you feel bad, sometimes really bad, stressed, anxious, tense or perhaps depressed, or angry, as you remember all these things going on in your life ... well by using this teaching, i am finding that my feeling of wellbeing or happiness is not dependent on the circumstances or things that are going on or not going on in my life, whatever the case may be.
I used to wake up some mornings... feeling naturally good for a second, a split second, before all the things i needed to think about came crashing into my mind, like uninvited party crashers, and then the wheels would begin to turn "oh, what am i going to do about this? what am i going to do about that? how to fix this problem? oh, it is such a big problem. How did i get here?" and on and on. constant tension. Unless i woke up with favourable points of view, maybe i just got that job that i had been wanting, wanting, trying for for so long, and i got it, and so i wake up and the first thought in my mind is like "oh good, i got that job, oh i feel good about myself, i did it, i accomplished something, i am so good" like that. but then that feeling of wellbeing never lasts. the job goes stale, or the relationship goes stale or loses its spark, or that new car you are so excited about got a dent or lost that new car smell.... the good feelings pass too, and then we are looking for the next fix, the next thing that can bring us a sense of wellbeing and calm and happiness. so life is this constant roller coaster, up, down, all around. with relying on clarity or your own natural awareness, for short moments whenever you remember to, until it becomes automatic.... this ability to rely on clarity soon becomes the basis of your wellbeing. So for me, i can take a short moment when i wake up, acknowledge my own perfect awareness just for a moment, it feels like just relaxing, taking a short time out, just for a second stop the thinking and rest. hmmmm
i am going on and on about this here.
i am already starting to notice changes in my state of being. They say you can start by just taking short moments, or listening to downloads, or both and let the practice slowly gradually build, and naturally your confidence will build.
I was first introduced to it 2 years ago when i was in india and i was like.. ya, this is cool, but i don't really get it. i told mom about it and then pretty much just forgot about it, until she started to really pick up the practice last year. and they have tons of media and tele-conferences and stuff online, so you can access it from anywhere in the world. so she was doing that. so i picked it up again, and now we have come all the way to goa to visit the centre they just built here (all volunteer driven and open financial contribution funded by participants who received value from the trainings). and this time, going through the course, is really sinking in for me.

so i wanted to share.
that is what is going on. hee hee.

so if all that totally doesn't interest you...
this is what else is going on....
we are still staying in the same place, eating the same food (haha). walking the same red dusty pathways from the beach to the "town", which consists of just one paved street with shops along each side that meanders along until it just peters out at the end of the trail. This is the northern-most beach and community in the state of goa, so this really is the end of the trail here. it is kinda funny to see the road go and go, and it just gets smaller and smaller and quieter and quieter until finally it just turns into a dirt footpath between buildings and empties out onto the beach.
haha.
the dirt here is red, so it gets on everything. my feet have turned a permanent dark red colour, as have everyone elses here. we remove sandals when going into internet cafes or someplaces where you eat and sit, so you get to see that everyone's feet are the same. everywhere you go. its kind of funny.

the parties continue at night. i only have been out dancing one time, for like 15 minutes, then their power went out so i went home to bed. :)
two bars over from us was reggae night last night, so i put my earplugs in and drifted off to dreamyland. sometimes it keeps us awake at night, but we are far too lazy to move houses at this point. we are just gonna stick it out.
it is only 2 more weeks until we leave. mom goes home and me, back up to rishikesh.
i don't fly home until april 5. so i have a bit more time in the motherland.

ok well,
wishing everyone well.
and much love!!
ang