Last day

I think last night i started dreaming about water.
Its that feeling you get when you stand or sit in the cool shade on the shore and look out to a vast expansive of blue water as far as the eye can see. I can think of nothing more relaxing and restful.
Its March 25th, Sunday and our last day in India. Tomorrow we will go to the airport and fly a tiny plane to Delhi where we will enjoy a 10 hour lay over before our flight for Thailand.
The last couple days have been filled with gathering our stuffs together and assembling gifts and having small farewell parties. Today all is left is to pack, clean our room and then go.
Feels strange kinda.
I feel like I have two lives.
Trying to explain to Gunnu of 13yrs why I have to leave. He just doesn't get it. "You can stay HERE and teach yoga!". The only thing that makes sense to him is when I tell him I have to go home and take care of my family. THAT he understands. So that is what i go with.
Leaving here is bittersweet. I am happy to see my family and friends in Canada. I MISS home, i MISS them, I want to see my grandma, and it will be nice to be back in comfortable old Canada. Living in India is strange. It is sometimes so challenging and sometimes so taxing and asks more of you than you think you have to give at times. And then... and then... it turns around and rewards you for your efforts with a depth and warmth and generosity that I haven't found anywhere else in the world. It turns around and busts open your heart and makes you feel such profound joy and love, you didn't even know you were capable of feeling. So the challenges and diffuculties are great, but the rewards are palpable. That is why it is bittersweet.
I have a family in Canada, but now I have a family here. A family that I have laughed with and shared with and who now is going to miss me as much as I miss them. I didn't expect this. But you can't be in two places at once. All I can do is give my best wherever I am at any given moment because I can't clone myself (yet).
I have a feeling that for all the effort and growing pains I went through while I was here, and adapting and adjusting to a different way of life, i feel that it won't be until I leave here and go home that I will realize the true gift that these people have given me.
My love to all of Nakul's family who have welcomed me, accepted me and cared for me as one of their own. I will miss you all more than you know.